Heartbreak Hotel by: Amanda

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Disclaimer: (Sing to tune of Kit Kat theme song) "Give me a break, give me a break, do you honestly think I own Dawson's Creek?! Give me a break, give me a break, do you really think I own Aaliyah's song?!"

Author's Note: This story is again told from the view of Dawson and is set 10 years after the gang has graduated: they are 28.

Author' Note #2: Thoughts, flashbacks, and something to show that a word is being enunciated are in **, so you'll have to figure that one out on your own.

How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad?

I was extremely tired, for I had just returned from the set of my newest movie, a semi-autobiography, but more wishful thinking. A 15 year old, Derek Levine, and his best friend, Janie Porter, had been together until Janie met someone whom she fell for, thus having her break up with Derek. This tearing him apart, he told her they couldn't see each other anymore. But at their 10 year high school reunion, where Janie is married to the guy she met 13 years before, falls for Derek again. Every minute, the movie reminded me of Joey and the heartbreak she gave me.

I lazily checked my mailbox, thinking there would be nothing important. But what I did find put me in a state of depression.

How could the one that made me feel so happy
Make me feel so sad?

I found a letter from Capeside High that I knew was inevitable.

Dear Mr. Leery,
You are cordially invited to your 10 year high school reunion and have been asked to make a special speech, seeing as how you are probably the most famous of the graduating class of 2000. This event will take place at:

Capeside High School
May 19, 2010
6:00 P.M.-12:00 A.M..

Joan Marks, Principal

"Mrs. Marks is still principal?" I laughed to myself, trying to avoid the inevitable. But I knew it had to be done.

After reading the letter, I called up my assistant director, Paul Stera. This call's after effects would change my life forever.


"Paul, it's Dawson."

"Hey, Dawson, what's up?"

"Well, I just got a letter from my high school and they really want me to go to my reunion. They even want me to make a speech!"

"Well, when does it take place?"

"May 19."

"Hold on..." I heard him going through a stack of paper. "We can cover for you if you want to go."

"Okay, thanks. But I want to leave in the next few days. I need to see my house, I need to see the creek, I need to see Screenplay Video, I need to have a life there, too. Think you can get me a ticket?"

"Sure, I'll call you when I know. Bye." I heard the line go dead.

I hung up and called my best friend in the world: one who wouldn't cheat on me, one who wouldn't break my heart: Pacey Witter.

"Hello, you've reached Pacey and Andie at 905-8248. We're currently unable to attend to the phone, so if you could leave a message after the beep, we'll get back to you as soon as possible. BEEEEEEEEP!!!"

"Pace, Andie, it's me, just ca-"

"Dawson, my man! What's up?" I heard Pacey answer.

"I just got a letter from Capeside High for the reunion."

"Are you going?"

"It seems I have to, because they want me to make a speech. But I don't know if my heart is gonna be able to handle seeing Joey."

"Well, Dawson, I've seen her over the years, seeing as how she lives in Boston, and she's married to Josh with a little 4 year old named Emily, I believe."

"Why did she hurt me so bad, Pace? I've never understood."

Wont somebody tell me
So I can understand

"Her whole life was you, Dawson. Every minute was for you. But then when she found this art thing, she really got into it, and her life was altered. It wasn't just you anymore, it was also art. And every second even, it became more art and less you. And since you weren't interested in it, she had to find someone that was. That person was Josh, and she got closer and closer to him, and it came to a time where she was in love with him and not you."

But what I never understood is that everyone told me Joey loved me, so how could she hurt this heart of mine?

If you love me
How could you hurt this heart of mine?
Tell me...yeah

This hurt me so much that my best friend wasn't even trying to make me feel better. "Well, I, uh, have to get going, Pace. See you in a few days?"

"Sure, man." I heard him hang up, so I went to the attic to bring down a photo book. As soon as I turned to the most recent picture of Joey, I felt a blast of cold wind. And this time, I didn't try to push it aside. The last time I did that, I got my heart broken. And after I had given her everything. All my love, all I had inside.

How could you be so cold to me? When I gave you everything
All my love, all I had inside

"How could you just walk out that window, Joey? How could you not love me anymore?" I whispered to the picture.

How could you just walk out the door?
How could you not love me anymore?

"Everyone in that town thought we had our whole lives together, including me," I continued. "But you just broke my heart and ran to Josh. And I still don't understand."

I thought we had forever
I cant understand

I sat with my head in my hands and cried for 3 hours, before hearing my phone ring.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Dawson, you have a flight tomorrow, first class, United Airlines, to Boston Airport," Paul declared quickly.

"Can you just drop the ticket off, Paul?" I asked him, my voice dripping with sweetness like maple syrup.

"Sure," he groaned. "In an hour or so, kay?"

"Yeah, sure. See you then,'' I responded, hanging up. What was I going to do? How can I face the one who stole the dream I shared with her?

How could the one I shared my dreams with
Take my dream from me?

1 day later...

"Passengers, please unbuckle your seatbelts and prepare to exit the plane," I heard someone say over the plane loudspeaker.

I sighed and gathered my bags, and got off that plane as fast as I was able to. I looked around for Pacey but couldn't find him, so I groaned and slumped down in a seat. I didn't know the horror this would bring me.

"Mommy!" a little girl screamed. "Where's Daddy?!"

"Emily, that's why we're here!" a voice I knew all too well replied. I knew whose voice it was, and that reality hurt. I turned around and saw the one and only...Josephine Potter. Excuse me, Josephine *Johns.*

*Damn,* I thought. *She's done it again. She made me fall for her. But I can't do that to myself. The love she brought me last time brought so much pleasure, yet so much misery.*

How could the love that brought such pleasure
Bring such misery?

Pacey, I silently prayed, get here soon. I'm dying.

"Daddy!" I heard Emily exclaim.

*Great, now I've got the whole Johns clan,* I moaned in my head.

And to make it all the worse, Pacey did one of the stupidest things he's ever done.

"Dawson!!! Dawson Leery!!!" I heard him shout.

*Oh shit. Joey's going to recognize me now, I know it.*

I turned around, wanting a reaction from Joey and Josh, and I got one.

"Dawson," Joey whispered to no one in particular.

"Dawson, my man!!!" Pacey greeted me with a pat on the shoulder.

"Good one, Pace, look who's behind us," I muttered.

Pacey turned around and his face went white. "Fancy meeting you here, Joey."

"What do you want, Pacey?" Joey asked innocently, as if she had broken no one's heart.

"I'm not telling, because it's something you can't do," he shook his head sadly. "And as long as you're married to Mr. Artsy Craftsy over here, you never will."

She gave him a bewildered look, as if she didn't know what she did to me.

"Don't give him that look, Joey," I demanded. "Don't you pretend that you didn't hurt me, that you didn't break my heart. Don't you act innocent like you didn't see me after you threw us away. Don't you do that."

Her look changed from bewilderment to understanding to acceptance. "Dawson, I said I was sorry-"

"Well, the thing you never learned is that sometimes sorry isn't enough," I cried, my voice breaking at the end.

As Pacey and I walked away, I asked him for the umpteenth time, "Why did she hurt me again? Tell me, please."

Wont somebody tell me
Somebody tell me please

"To be honest with you, I never figured it out. She was so in love with you," he sighed.

"If she loved me, how could she do that?" I moaned, knowing he knew as little about it as I did.

If you love me
How could you do that to me?

"Ask her," was his reply.

"I don't have the strength or courage to look her in the eye." I didn't want to ask her...I wanted him to tell me.

Tell me

Pacey's house, 3 hours later...

"Dawson, it's so good to see you!!!" Andie squealed.

"Nice to see you, too, Andie," I replied, giving her a slight hug.

"Andie, darling, could you do us all a favor and try to explain to Dawson why Joey broke up with him?" Pacey asked his girlfriend sweetly.

*"Dawson?" she asked me softly, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Get out. Please, I beg of you, get out," I whispered. "I can't look you in the eye anymore, because it'll only bring back all the heartache, and all the pain. We can't see each other anymore. Maybe one day, when the pain has subsided, and it won't be so hard, but for now, we can't do it. *I* can't do. So please, Joey, for my sake, go and don't come back."

"Okay, Dawson, whatever you want," she said, heading out the window, but before leaving, she turned around and added, "I'm so sorry."*

How could you just walk out the door?
How could you not love me anymore?

"Dawson, how many times have I told you, I know you loved her, but you need to move on, get it behind you?" Andie sighed.

"But the thing is, Andie, that I can't move on. Because I don't "loved" her, I love her. I'm in love with her. I have been for the past 13 years. And it still hurts, because I thought we had forever. But I still love her. And to this day, no one has been able to help me understand why the one I gave my heart to hurt it."

I thought we had forever
I cant understand
No I cant understand

"Gee, Dawson, big breakthrough on your part, and I'm sorry and all, but she's part of the past. Whenever someone gets their heart broken, they mope for awhile, but then realize life goes on. They don't wait 13 years for an old flame!"

"You don't get it. Nothing she could ever do could stop me from loving her," I told her.

"Everyone's life eventually goes on when their heart gets broken, and yours should, too." With that final statement, Andie left the room, leaving me behind to plop down on the couch, pondering for the billionth time why the love of my life would do that to me.

*God, if someone told me Joey was the love of my life when I was dating Jen, I would have sent them to have their head checked,* I thought.

It had always puzzled me why Joey threw everything I ever wanted out the window when she walked out of it that final time, but now it confused me even more, now knowing she had a daughter with Josh. Of all people.

*How could the one I gave my heart to, break my heart so bad?* It was always that thought that had come to mind when I thought of her.

How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad?

"So Dawson, figured it out yet?" Pacey smirked as he reentered the room.

"I don't think I ever will," I sighed, shaking my head sadly. She had made me feel so happy...but if you saw me now, you would think I never knew the meaning of the word. I had, but my girlfriend, who was also my best friend, my life and everything, broke up with me when my world had already crashed down on me.

How could the one who made me feel happy
Make me feel so sad?

3 weeks later...

"Pacey! Andie! Hurry up, or we'll be late!" I shouted. All I wanted to do was get this reunion over with. Then I could go on with my life and never see Joey again.

"I'm ready, but Andie needs to hurry up!" Pacey exclaimed as he walked into his living room.

"We can go now," Andie declared nonchalantly as she came out of her bathroom.

"Good, because all I want to do is get this thing over with," I sighed. "More than anything."

"Even more than to understand why Joey hurt you?" Andie asked.

"Even more," I returned sadly.

Wont somebody tell me
So I can understand

"But I still would like to know," I added.

"But Dawson, you are right in one sense...she seemed so in love with you, it's puzzling why she would just dump you for some guy she had known for about 5 minutes," Andie trailed off.

"But I don't think she ever was...truly in love with me, though. If she was, how could she hurt me like that?"

If you love me
How could you hurt me like that?

"But still..."

"I don't know, Andie. And probably never will," I sighed.

At Capeside High...

"Name?" asked a familiar looking person behind the booth.

"Leery. Dawson Leery," I told her.

"Well well well, Mr. Dawson Leery, betcha don't remember me," the woman grinned.

"Nellie Olsen, daughter of the owner of Screenplay Video," I smirked, non oblivious to the fact she became unsuccessful. Probably owned some "aristocratic" video store. I walked away, nervous at giving the speech I had prepared.


"And now, famous director and graduate of the class of 2000, Mr. Dawson Leery!" Ms. Jacobs announced as I nervously walked up to the stage.

"Have we been gone for ten years? Have we been gone for *only* ten years?" I began, a ripple of laughter going through the crowd. "The night before I started tenth grade, my best friend Josephine Potter told me things were changing, which I thought was absurd." I paused. "But Joey...you were right. We all grew up as we walked down those halls. All of our lives changed...as we became infatuated, were an infatuation, in love...or so we might have thought at the time...or was a love of someone else." I paused, glancing at all the familiar faces in the crowd.

"If anyone looks back on their high school years," I continued, "they probably would have been the best years or their life. And even if it wasn't the whole three years, if it was just three weeks, it still was probably the best part of their life." I stepped down, smiling at the applause my speech received. I glanced at Joey, who had tears in her eyes and a look of sadness on her face. *She got what she deserved. I think I finally got her back for throwing my world away,* I thought.

How could the one I gave my world to
Throw my word away?

"Dawson," I heard a voice behind me demand my attention. "We need to talk."

"What is there to talk about, Joey?" I asked her as she pulled me outside.

"We need to talk about...us," she replied. "Look, about that night-"

"No, Joey. My life doesn't work that way. I can't listen to you say anything but the things I've always wanted you to say."

"What are those things, Dawson?" she pleaded.

"Those three little words that you can't say. Those are the only words I've ever wanted you to say, and I would reciprocate them in a second. But words my heart just *can't* hear are the one you said that night. You came close to saying I love you so many times, and I can't believe that the one who almost said the three words says the things you say. "

How could the one who said I love you
Say the things you say?

"And I did everything I could to be as loyal and faithful to you as I could. And you just let the whole Josh thing happen. It could have been avoided. It wasn't inevitable."

How could the one I was so true to
Just tell me lies?

"And what you gave me, Joey? That heartbreak I got from you? It's still here," I looked at her with my eyes bearing the absolute truth, placing my hand over my heart. "It still hurts."

How could the one I gave my heart to
Make me feel so sad?

"I gave everything to you, Joey. Everything I could. I would have given my life for you if necessary. And instead of reciprocating the act, you ripped my heart out of my chest, threw it on a linoleum floor, and stepped on it hard."

How could the one I gave my heart to
Break my heart so bad?

"And the only thing I ever wondered was why? Why would you hurt the one who loved you? Tell me."

Tell me

"I..." she trailed off, obviously not having a reason for the most destructive act of the twentieth century.


"I thought so," I cut her off. "I'll see you, Joey."

I got into my car and drove off. Away from Capeside. Away from Joey. Away from my past.

But not for long.

Tell me

Well, I obviously couldn't just leave it there. To be continued in "Help!"

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