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Pacey and Joey sat in an uncomfortable silence as he drove Joey back to the apartment. Joey had been afraid to say anything to him when she walked out of the doctors office not too long after he had walked out. She looked over to her left, and noticed Pacey’s eyes were glued ahead of him.
“You know, I had a feeling. Something just wasn’t right about the way you were acting when you came back, but I just thought it was my imagination,” Pacey said, breaking the silence. “But now I know….. Now I know….” Pacey mumbled as he continued driving.
“What I want to know is what the hell were you thinking sleeping with him in the first place Joey?” The car went silent. Joey couldn’t answer him.
“Pacey, I never-” she began.
“To what? Hurt me? You just thought you’d keep this from me and pretend everything was ok?”
“No Pacey, I wanted to tell you!” Joey said, both their voices raised now.
“No, see, I know you still love him. You even told me that, you said that he’s your soul mate-”
“I chose you didn’t I!?” Joey shouted.
“Then how did his baby end up inside you, huh?!” He shouted back. “You wanted to be with me so bad but yet you slept with him!”
“I can’t do this anymore Jo, I’ve always felt like when I was with you, I had to compete with him to keep you,” Pacey said lowering his voice a little, realizing they were both shouting.
Joey just sat in silence not knowing what to say. She knew deep down that Pacey was right. She was still in love with Dawson. But at the same time, she didn’t want to loose Pacey. She loved them both, but there was just that part of her that would never let Dawson go; the part of her that’d always be in love with him.
“Pacey I don’t know what to say; I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too Jo.” Joey looked over at him unsure of what he meant. “I can’t keep second guessing, and competing with Dawson, I just can’t. And as much as I love you, this; you and I, just isn’t going to work,” he explained.
Joey just nodded as the car became silent once more.
After Pacey dropped her off a little while later, Joey decided to get some fresh air to clear her mind. Not wanting to sit around her apartment all day, she decided to walk around for a while.
Motherhood. Baby. Pregnancy. Trimesters. All these different things were shooting through Joey’s mind as she sat on a park bench. What was she going to do? How was she going to continue on working being pregnant? - she sometimes worked long hours in the office. And the million dollar question of the day….What’s Dawson going to think about it?
Joey sighed as she thought about it. Dawson was way too busy to be a father. If she told him, he’d end up moving to New York with her or something; throw away his dreams and marry her. Joey couldn’t stand thinking of him throwing away his dreams, not now, not when he was doing so well. She looked down and put her and on her stomach, as if feeling the connection to Dawson through that simple motion. She still couldn’t believe that there was a tiny life growing inside her; a life she and Dawson had created.
Joey debated whether or not it was even a good idea to tell Dawson right off. She would not deny Dawson the news that he was going to be a father; she‘d never hurt him like that. She continued sitting on the bench; trying to sort out her now very-complicated life.
Joey walked into her empty apartment a few hours later. She had totally lost track of time, and now it was dinner time. Pacey would be coming home soon. Joey was glad; she wanted to talk to him about what had happened earlier. She walked over to the beeping answering machine and pushed the play button. One was from one of her friends at work, and one was from her sister.
“Hey Joey; its me. Just calling to see how things are going. I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks and, just, wanted to call. Call me back later.” Joey sighed as she took the prenatal vitamins out of her pocket that she had gotten from the doctors office. She carried them into the living room and set them down on the end table, then plopped down on the couch. She debated whether or not to call her sister back and tell her the news, but she was too exhausted to do so. I’ll call her back later, Joey said to herself.
She suddenly yawned. “I’ll just lay down for a little while, while I’m waiting for Pacey to get home,” Joey said as she pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and stretched out on the couch, falling asleep as soon as she hit the pillow.
Joey awoke a few hours later, still feeling tired, but forced herself to get up anyways. She sat up and stretched as she tried to wake up. Finally she stood up and realized it was supper time. Hoping Pacey was already home, she called out his name hopefully.
“Pacey?” Joey walked around the place, but she soon realized Pacey hadn’t cone home. She half expected him not to; but a part of her still hoped he would come back home. She didn’t want things between her and Pacey to end so badly; she wanted to talk to him about it. She wanted someone to talk to about it. Joey paced around the living room as she continued to think about how complicated her life had become.
The next day Joey woke up and headed off to work just as any other day accept for the touch of morning sickness she’d get occasionally some morning. Putting on a happy face to hide her troubles, Joey set out for work in hopes to get her mind off of things if nothing else, try to think of how she was going to break the news to Dawson.
The day went by incredibly slow. Joey had tried as hard as possible to catch up on the work she had become slightly behind in, as well as tried to keep up with the new ones that kept on coming in. Normally the rest of the year, she barely had to work, but during August till after December, she was usually kept busy. She was incredibly happy when the day ended and she was able to go home. She was hoping Pacey was there, and she’d get a chance to talk to him. She had woken up that morning and he wasn’t there, which had made her sad, but she still had hopes to catch him and talk to him face to face.
She took a deep breath as she unlocked her door and opened it. She walked in and set her stuff down as she did every day and looked around the room.
Joey heard the faintest noise coming from her bedroom, and she quickly ran towards there. She was about to say something when she realized what he was doing. She watched as he folded and packed the last of his clothes.
“Pace?” she asked as she walked further in the room. Pacey looked up with a hurt expression.
“I was kinda hoping to finish this before you got home; avoid any hurtful things said to one another, or just anything else.”
“Pacey-” she began.
“Don’t; Jo, please just…don’t,” Pacey interrupted. He turned around and pulled another shirt from the closet.
“I know I messed up ok!” Joey said. Pacey looked up at her once more.
“You know what Jo? It’s not even about that anymore.”
“The what is it? Pacey, why are you doing this?” she asked.
“Because as soon as I heard the words ’Congratulations Joey your pregnant’ I knew I had lost you. I don’t know, I may not have even had you to begin with,” Pacey began, not raising his voice. “I suppose at one time or another you loved me back as much as I loved you. But I realize just how much you love Dawson. It’s always been you and him. I was just too stubborn to realize.”
“Pacey, I did love you; I still do,” Joey said. “But Dawson and I…” she trailed off.
“He’s your soul mate,” Pacey finished. Joey looked up at him; half surprised. “ I know, I get it.” Pacey zipped up the trunk.
“Jo, I hope we can put this all behind us once and for all someday and actually move on,” Pacey said as he walked over to Joey.
“And before I go; because I love you so much; I just want to say good luck. And if you ever need anything, no matter how angry I am with you, I want you to know that you can always call me. Good luck.” He said before walking out of the bedroom, and out the front door. Joey leaned against the wall and sighed as she heard the front door shut. Pacey was gone, and Joey was alone now. She tried to hold back tears as the sinking feeling of being all alone sank in. She sat down on her bed and hugged herself as she tried to think of what she was going to do next…
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