Second Thoughts, Chapter Nine by: Ashley

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Joey was almost nine weeks along, and she still hadn’t told Dawson yet. Gale’s words from a few days ago continued to echo through Joey’s mind. Dawson’s been so busy with the show… She tried to shrug off the thought as she continued to search what she was looking for. Something had pulled her out of the house, and to where she was now. She had been in Capeside now for about a week, putting off the inevitable; telling Dawson.

A few minutes later, she found what she was looking for. She bent down and traced the letters with her slender finger.

“Hi mom. I know it’s been a while since I’ve come here to visit you,” she began. “A lot has happened. I don’t really know where to begin.” Joey paused. “I uh, I’m pregnant. Kind of a shocker there. Dawson’s the father.” Joey laughed. “Figures it’d be him.” She paused and began to pick the grass away from the stone.

“I haven’t told him yet. I guess I’m afraid of what his reaction will be. I’m afraid he won’t want it, or he’s just too busy to fit a child into his life.” She paused once more as she thought about memories past.

“I miss you so much. I wish you were here Mom; to tell me what to do.” She brushed away the tears that were beginning to form. “I promise I’ll come by to visit more; I’ll try to come by before I leave,” Joey said as she stood up. “Well, I gotta get going Mom.” Joey said her goodbyes and left her mother’s grave. She then began to walk the other way to visit someone else.

Joey stopped in her tracks as she neared Jen’s grave and saw Jack there with Aimee. She smiled as she watched how Jack interacted with the toddler. She was about to turn around and leave when Jack looked up and spotted her. He stood up and smiled as Joey decided to walk over.

“Hey, I uh, I thought you may want some-”

“Don’t worry about it. Aimee and I were just saying hi to Jen,” he said. Joey nodded as she and Jack watched the baby curiously looking around on the grass.

“I was just visiting my mom, and wanted to say hi to Jen,” she explained. Jack nodded.

“Seems so weird without her here,” Jack said.

“I know how you feel,” she admitted. The two fell into a silence. Finally Jack spoke up. “So…you got plans for the day?” he asked as he bent down and picked Aimee up. Joey smiled and shook her head.

“Not at all,” she admitted.

“Well then, how would you like to spend the day with Aimee and I here?” he asked, holding his goddaughter in his arms. Joey looked at the toddler in Jack’s arms and smiled.

“I’d love that.” Jack smiled. The two of them then headed for their cars to drop Joey’s car off at the B & B; then they’d take Jack’s car for the afternoon.

“So how are you and Doug?” Joey asked, sitting in the passengers seat. Amy was babbling in the back seat as she played with some of her toys.

“Were doing great. I mean now that he’s open about being Gay,” Jack said. Joey smiled.

“So how bout you? How are you and Pacey doing in New York?” Jack asked. Joey opened her mouth to reply as her mind rebated whether or not to tell him just then that she was pregnant; with Dawson’s child and not Pacey’s. She decided to wait till later to tell him everything that was going on.

“Well, what can you say about New York? I’m always busy with work,” she explained. Jack looked over at her and smiled. He could tell there was something up…. He just couldn’t put a finger on it. He decided to just let it go for the time being.

“So where are you taking me anyways?” she asked.

Jack smiled. “I’m taking us out to lunch.” Joey nodded, realizing she hadn’t had much to eat today.

A few minutes later, they were pulling up to a familiar building. Oh no, not the Ice House! Out of all the places in Capeside…she said to herself. Jack noticed Joey suddenly seemed uncomfortable.

“Jo, you alright?” he asked. Pacey’s probably not even here; stop worrying! Joey faced Jack and put on a smile.

“Yeah I’m fine. Let’s get in there and get something to eat, huh?” she said changing the subject.

“Ok, let’s go eat.”

A few minutes later, Joey, Jack and Aimee were seated at a table inside The Ice House looking at some menu’s. Joey, who already decided on what she was having, was busy playing with Aimee.

“Alright, I think were all set to order,” he said as he put the menu down and looked up to flag someone down. Just as he looked up Pacey walked by; his head down looking at some papers.

“Hey, excuse me?” Jock called out, not realizing who it was until Pacey looked up.

“Oh my god, Pacey!?” Jack asked. Pacey stood froze as he looked over and realized who was with Jack. Joey’s head shot up at the sound of the name.

Pacey sighed before finally walking over to the table. Normally he didn’t wait tables being the boss and all unless the restaurant was swamped. He could grab a waiter and send them over, but that’d be rude. This should be interesting, he thought to himself. He felt the anger rise inside of him as he was reminded once more that Joey was carrying Dawson’s child.

“What can I get everyone,” Pacey asked, looking down. Jack looked back and fourth between Joey and Pacey.

“You’re not going to say hi to the love of your life just across the table?” Jack joked. Pacey looked up from the pad, but not at either of them with a painful expression.

“I believe you’re referring to the love of Dawson’s life,” he said. Joey closed her eyes, not believing what was happening. She was going to tell Jack later; at a better time.

“What are you talking about man?” Jack asked confused. “What’s going on that I don’t know about?” he asked the two of them. Pacey looked directly at Joey.

“Ask Joey’s what’s gong on,” Pacey said. “Better yet Jack, why don’t you ask Joey who the father is of the baby that‘s growing inside her right now.” Joey looked up at Pacey.

“Pacey, stop; please just…stop,” she said, near tears. She realized she had screwed up by sleeping with Dawson, but she didn’t feel like she deserved public humiliation at the restaurant. The mistake had already been made, and there was no taking it back.

Jack looked at Joey shocked. “Wait a second; Joey, you’re pregnant?” Pacey looked at Joey.

“You didn’t tell him you were pregnant?” he asked.

“No I didn’t; but thank you Pacey for blurting it out,” she said angrily. “I thought you be a little mature and act like an adult about this, but I guess that was asking for too much,” Joey said as she got up.

“Mature?” Pacey repeated in disbelief. “You call sleeping with Dawson while your with me mature?” he asked. Joey fought back the urge to slap him across the face.

“Go to hell,” she told him before walking out of the restaurant, leaving Jack sitting at the table with Aimee, shocked.

“Joey, wait!” Jack said as he walked out of the restaurant with Aimee. Joey stopped in her tracks as Jack caught up to her. “What the hell was that back there?”

“Jack, right now I just wanna get out of here,” Joey said, the two of them beside the car.

“Now, wait a second; Joey you’re pregnant?” he asked.

“I made a mistake ok? It’s not like I slept with Dawson to hurt Pacey. It just...happened!“ she said at the brink of tears. Jack realized she wanted to get away from Pacey and the Ice House as fast as she could. Little Aimee began to fidget in his arms.

“Alright, we’ll check out that McDonalds they just put up on Hudson,” he said as he unlocked the car doors and headed out.

The car ride was mostly silent on their way to the restaurant and back aside from Aimee in the back seat.

Finally Jack was the one to break the silence. “How uh…how far along are you?” he asked. Joey looked down at her stomach. You could hardly tell she was pregnant; looked like she had just gained a few pounds.

“Almost nine weeks,” she explained. Jack looked over at her and smiled quickly.

“That’s like, two months right?” Joey nodded.

“Does Dawson know your pregnant?” he asked, he had a feeling he knew the answer. Joey’s expression saddened, and she shook her head.

“What are you waiting for?” Jack asked.

“I don’t know Jack. I guess I’m afraid of the possibility that Dawson, being the kind of person he is, will end up throwing away his dreams because of this,” she explained.

“Joey that’s crazy. You know Dawson loves you,“ Jack told her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Pacey’s my friend too, and I don’t wanna get in the middle of this by choosing sides, but…”

“That’s the last thing I want to happen; I don’t want anyone choosing sides, Jack. I just want things between Pacey and I to be ok, ya know? I don’t want there to be a grudge being held by anyone because of this,” she said. “I realize things won’t be ok for a while.” Joey looked back behind her at the sleeping child. Jack looked over at Joey and noticed by her facial expression that she was scared. He reached over and gripped her hand.

“It’s all going to be alright; just you wait and see.” Joey looked at him and smiled weakly, hoping he was right.

It was nightfall by the time Jack dropped Joey off at the B & B. He had assured her everything was going to be alright, then headed home with Aimee, who was sleeping again in the back seat. Joey walked up to the porch, the days events running through her mind. Joey stopped and decided to sit outside for a while. It was a good thing she had a light coat on; the September nights were getting cooler by the day. Joey just sat in a law chair that faced the creek.

She soon lost track of time, deep on thought of memories past. She was so wrapped up in the past, she didn’t hear Bessie call her name the first time. Nor did she notice Bessie walking over to her.

“Joey? I called your name three times. What are you doing out here?” Bessie asked as she sat down in the other chair, which was also facing the creek.

Joey shrugged. “Just thinking’.”

“Alexander’s asleep in the house so we can have this time to talk now,” Bessie assured her. Joey smiled. “How was spending the day with Jack?” she asked.

“Actually, Aimee was with us,” Joey said. Bessie smiled at the sound of the toddler’s name.

“Awww, how’s she doin? I don’t know what she does more of each time I see her; get bigger or cuter,” Bessie said. Joey laughed.

“She is adorable. She looks so much like Jen already,” Joey agreed. Her expression turned sad. “Uh.. Jack and I ran into Pacey at the restaurant.”

Bessie knew it couldn’t have gone well. “Oh no. What happened?” Joey sighed.

“Well, after Pacey blurting out that I was having Dawson’s baby, I walked out of the restaurant,” she explained.

“So I take it Jack knows?”

Joey nodded. “I mean, it’s not like it’s meant to be a secret, they’re going to find out sooner or later since I’m keeping it, I just wish Jack could have found out in any other way then hearing it over one of mine and Pacey’s shouting matches,” she said.

“Well, you know what I think about him now a days.”


“Joey, nine months ago, he was sleeping with a married woman!” she reminded her. Joey just sat there. “Now I know you two care about each other, but I’m sorry. I still think you and Dawson were meant to be together, and nothing can convince me differently,” Bessie said. Joey looked at her sister, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

“The thing is, I know I messed up…and Pacey has every right to be angry. What I did was….” she trailed off. “I just need him to forgive me Bess.”

“Your absolutely right,” Bessie said. “The two of you need some sort of closure; don’t let things between the two of you end like this. Tell him what you just told me.” Bessie looked down at her lap. “I know that’s what Mom would have wanted to hear from Dad before she died.” Joey looked up Bessie at the mention of their mother. Then the fears came back from when she first found out she was pregnant.

“What if I can’t do this Bess? What if I can’t be a good mother?” she asked. Bessie swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

“Oh Joey, you’re going to be a wonderful mother; don’t worry,” Bessie said. It was true, Joey had practically raised Alexander. She was great with kids.

“And what about Dawson?” Joey asked. “What if he’s too busy to want kids right now? I-” Bessie interrupted.

“I hope your joking,” Bessie said. “Joey, Dawson loves you more than life itself. He would do anything for you-”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want him giving up his dreams just because I got pregnant as a result of the birth control failing.”

“You know, you yourself told me not too long ago you were tired of running from love. Now would be the right time to do just that.” Joey looked up at her. “Stop running from him Joey. If not for the child you two created, then do it for yourself. You deserve to be happy after all time you’ve wasted trying to decide between the two of them.” Joey smiled realizing her sister was right; about all of it. She needed to tell Dawson, the longer she waited, the worse it would be. She also knew she needed talk to Pacey. She owed him that much.

Joey smiled. “You always know just what to say.”

Bessie returned the smile. “What are sister’s for?” she answered simply. “C’mon, let’s get inside. It’s getting cold out here!” Bessie said as she got up and rubbed her arms. Joey laughed as she got up and followed Bessie inside the house.

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