Author's Notes: Hi! I’ve used this title, not because of any link with the film, but because this story involves a big change. It changes their lives and has a big effect on them. Therefore, it has a deep impact! Clever, eh? I was listening to the Corrs Album last night when I wrote this, so that’s why their songs are littered everywhere. There’s one song which kinda inspired me to write this. It’s called Hopelessly Addicted, and it fits perfectly. If you haven’t already, can I suggest you buy their album? It’s the best ever, I promise! OK, on with the show…
Warnings: Above a PG-13 for use of the F-word and details. Nothing Pornographic.
Spoilers: Okay. Pretend that this happened in place of Breaking Away. It comes after Pretty Woman, and concerns Joey and Dawson. There’s no other real storyline here, I’m sorry.
I haven’t slept at all in days
It’s been so long since we have talked
And I have been here many times
I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There’s only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don’t try and I don’t hope
No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, no more trying…
Maybe there’s nothing more to say
And in a funny way I’m calm
Because the power is not mine
I’m just gonna let it fly…
“Hell, maybe I’ll even contact Anderson,” she said out loud. “Wouldn’t that just piss Dawson off?” She looked up and saw that a few customers were looking at her. She blushed, and walked away.
Dawson groaned for about the millionth time that morning. Why did things have to get so complicated? Yesterday, Joey had been his best friend. Now he didn’t know what to call her. Sure, things had been confusing for a few months now, but last night had brought it all to a climax. He needed time to figure it all out. That meant saying no to Jen, and that meant staying away from Joey. He needed to find out how far his feeling went for either of them. Dawson groaned again, and once more tried to concentrate on writing his new script.
The next morning, Dawson slowly approached his locker. When he got closer, he noticed a guy talking to a girl at a nearby locker. He recognized the guy as being a member of the basketball team, Scott something. The girl was stunning. She wore a tight top and a short skirt with heeled shoes, revealing her perfect figure and endless legs. He forced his attention upwards to her face. He almost choked when he realized it was Joey! His Joey! He rushed around the corner of the corridor so she wouldn’t see him. Hoe stood against the wall, eavesdropping on the conversation.
Joey smiled to herself. She had ‘borrowed’ a few things from Bessie’s wardrobe, and they were having the reaction she wanted. This guy had given her a lift to school, and now he was totally flirting with her. And she was flirting back.
“You know, I saw you on Saturday night, Joey. You were absolutely perfect. You should have won.” Joey giggled and ran her hand through her hair.
“Don’t be silly. I was lucky to come in second!” she said breezily.
“So are you busy tonight?” he asked.
“No, why? Are you asking me out?” she responded.
“Yeah. But aren’t you going with that guy?”
“Dawson? No! We’re just friends.”
“Well he must be blind to only be friends with you,” Scott said sincerely. “OK, I’ll see you at 7, OK babe?”
“Sure. Bye, Scott.” Scott walked off down the hall and Joey turned back to her locker. Suddenly, she felt another guy stand beside her. He opened a locker, and with a start, Joey realized it was Dawson. He must have seen her with Scott.
“Hey, Jo,” he greeted.
“Hey, Dawson,” she replied, letting him start a conversation. He watched her out of the corner of his eye.
“So what’s the deal with the dumb Jock?” he finally asked.
“Scott,” she corrected, “has just asked me out. Not that it’s any of your business,” she fumed quietly. She slammed her locker shut and stormed off down the hall. Dawson watched her, and then noticed all the guys in the corridor were watching her too.
Pacey patted Dawson’s shoulder as he sat in the seat next to him. They were waiting for the history teacher to arrive. Dawson was staring at Joey’s back. She was sat in a chair a few rows ahead, and was surrounded by about 5 guys from the class.
“Hey, D-Man. What’s up with J-Girl?” Pacey asked, grinning.
“I wish I knew!” Dawson confessed, turning to face Pacey.
“I like it!” Pacey commented.
“She’s got a date tonight with some big Jock,” Dawson informed his friend.
“Damn! D’ya think she’s busy on Friday night?”
“Pacey! It’s Joey!”
“Exactly, she’s beautiful, intelligent, and now I know she has legs!”
“But we’ve all been friends for years!”
“And we’ve been hanging out with her without ever truly seeing her, Dawson. She’s not some seven year old tomboy. She’s done a great job growing up. Just look at her!” Dawson looked at her once more, trying to erase any knowledge of her as a friend from his brain. He couldn’t. He groaned once more, and let his head drop to his desk with a bang.
Dawson tried to clear his mind as he changed. It was lunchtime, but he had been let out late from his Phys Ed class, and they were sharing the locker room with the basketball team. Suddenly, he heard Joey’s name in a conversation.
"Yeah, she is so hot!” Scott said. “I heard she’s a virgin, but by the way she’s dressed today, I might just get lucky tonight!” the whole team cheered. “She should be easy. After all, which girl doesn’t want me?” The team laughed. Dawson felt fury rise in the pit of his stomach, but he grabbed his bag and went off to warn Joey.
“So?” Joey asked, infuriated. Dawson had just informed her of Scott’s plans. They were sat in the cafeteria with Pacey and Jen, who were watching the display in amusement.
“So?” Dawson echoed. “He thinks you’re gonna have sex with him tonight, Jo!”
“And you’re so sure that I won’t?” she asked. His mouth dropped open. “Not all of us want to die virgins, Dawson. I’m in the mood for some fun for once. I’ve spent my entire life watching movies with you or being forced to kiss Pacey for one of your movies! I’m tired with my life, Dawson.” She stopped, and began to pick at her food.
“What’s up, Joey?” Dawson asked. “Why are you wearing Bessie’s clothes? Why are you going out with a Jock?”
“I’m having fun. I’m changing. Evolving. Pacey did it by fucking Miss Jacobs. Maybe I’ll fuck Scott. It doesn’t concern you. I am me. I don’t belong to you, Dawson.”
“But Joey,” Dawson began. Joey rolled her eyes and cut him off.
“I’m a teenage girl, Dawson. I want my evenings to be filled with more than movies. I want some fun whilst I still can!” Joey shouted. Most of the room had heard her last comments. She stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving a distraught and even more confused Dawson Leery behind.
Dawson slumped onto his bed. His thoughts immediately turned to Joey. For the first time, he considered her having sex. He’d been so preoccupied with thoughts of him and Jen that he’d never even thought that Joey too had experienced desires. She’d had her first kiss and her first date. She’d not told him about them. That hurt him, but it concerned him that she was doing all this alone. She felt ready to do things that he only ever thought about. He saw her as a woman, and not his best friend.
Opened my eyes today
And I knew there’s something different
Saw you in a brand new way
Like the clouds had somehow lifted
And if yesterday I heard
Myself saying these words
I would swear it was a lie
I don’t know why but suddenly I’m falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I’m hopelessly addicted
I’ll make a wish this day
And I’ll send it to the heavens
That we will always stay
Entwined like this forever
And though the world might change
Coz nothing stays the same
I know we will survive
I don’t know why but suddenly I’m falling
Was I so blind
I was loving you all the time
Now I’m hopelessly addicted
Naturally we acted
Naturally we acted
Later that night, just after 7, Dawson sat at the ruins, reflecting. He loved her. She was everything he wanted, and he needed her. But by now, Scott was probably with her. He groaned. Suddenly, he felt he was being watched. He turned around. There was Joey. She was wearing jeans and a jumper, with no makeup and her hair tied back in a ponytail.
“Shouldn’t you be fucking Scott by now?” Dawson asked bitterly, tuning his attention back to the water. Joey sat beside him, and shrugged.
“I told him where to go,” she explained. He looked at her. she smiled, and he smiled back.
“Good,” he found himself saying.
“Dawson, you know why I got all dressed up today. I know that you only want us to be friends. That’s fine. I’ve spent two and a half years dreaming, but I can shut all that away…Months ago, I tried to warn you about the things that we can’t talk about. You were disgusted to think of me sleeping with Scott. That’s what I can’t tell you. But it works both ways, Dawson. I don’t need you to tell me all about the next Jen Lindly, OK?”
“I wasn’t disgusted, Joey...I was jealous. I guess I’d always figured that eventually, we’d be each other’s firsts. Not Jen, not Scott. But Scott has taught me one thing…”
“Dawson, don’t. Don’t, OK? I don’t want you to say something you don’t mean just to try and keep me as your friend.”
“Jo, I’d never do that. Jo, I’m in love with you.” Joey looked at his eyes, and then looked at his lips.
“What did you just say?” Dawson smiled and leaned forward. He kissed her gently, then pulled back. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him with more passion that he ever thought was possible. Just as he became totally comfortable, she pulled away. Tears filled her eyes.
“Jo, what’s wrong?” he asked, worried.
“Dawson…I’m sorry…I can’t…” she stumbled. She stood up, and put her hand over her heart. Dawson rose too, and stepped toward her. “No, it’s too much…We’re making this huge mistake…” she said, finding it hard to search her wide vocabulary and find the right words. She turned and ran away. Dawson watched as she disappeared from sight. He paused for only a moment longer before making his way back to his house.
< Excerpt > Don’t Say You Love Me
Don’t say you love me unless forever
Don’t tell me you need me if you’re not gonna stay
Don’t give me this feeling I’ll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
I’ve caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch is all too much
You know I don’t have any choice
Joey climbed the last few steps, and through the window. It was half past eight, and Dawson was sat trying to find an answer in a movie. As always. He turned as soon as he heard he enter his room.
“Hey,” she said shyly.
“What’s going on, Joey?” he asked. She shrugged and sat beside him on the bed.
“If you don’t know it by now, Dawson, I have feelings for you. I don’t just class you as a friend, or even as my best friend. I want things to develop between us, but I don’t want you to lie to me. I need to know what you’re really thinking, not what you think I need to hear. I need to hear from you the truth. We need to talk about this. I can’t stand not knowing.”
“I know, Joey. It’s been like this for months. I’ve only just began to analyze it. Look, Jen asked me to take her back on Saturday. I said no. I know I don’t feel for her any where near as much as I do for you. But it was only today I saw you. The real you. Not my friend, not the pageant winner. Josephine Potter. This wonderful girl from down the creek. And I’ve fallen for her. I’ve fallen for you, Joey. And I’m scared. I’m scared that if we screw this up, we’re gonna lose so much. But then, I think it’s worth the risk. I want to be with you. I want us to be a couple.”
“Well, we’re gonna have to be completely honest, Dawson. We can’t have the friendship, or the relationship. To have both, we’ve got to be open. And that means everything.”
“OK, Jo. I’m ready for it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Joey, I love you. You are everything I’ve ever dreamed about. You are the other half of me.”
“And I feel the same way,” Joey admitted. She looked at his hand, and took it in hers. She looked up at his eyes. A moment passed when their stares were locked, and they leaned forwards and kissed. Hungrily, passionately, desperately. Her lips parted, and his tongue entered her mouth. She ran her hands through his hair, and laid back, pulling him on top of her. After a few minutes, he lifted his lips off hers.
“Jo, how did we not do this earlier?” he asked, breathless.
“I don’t know, Dawson!” she cried, happy. He rolled over, and laid on the bed. “Dawson, honesty. It’s the only way things can progress.”
“Shoot. Ask me anything!” he said, smiling at her.
“Truth or Dare?”
“Did you enjoy kissing my latex head?”
“What??? How did you find out about that?” he asked, astonished.
“I saw you through the banisters,” she confessed.
“Yes, I enjoyed it. And that worried me. I was going to kiss Jen, and I was thinking of you.” he smiled once more at her, and at the memory. “You now. Truth or Dare?”
“OK, how long have you had feelings for me?”
“Since my mom’s funeral,” Joey began. “You were wonderful the whole time, but when you held my hand, I knew that I loved you.” Dawson thought about that day. There were only a handful of people at the graveside service. Dawson had stood on one side with his parents. Bessie was crying, so her father hugged her. Joey had stood a few feet away from her sister and father, and was alone. As the priest said his final words, her face crumbled into silent tears. Dawson noticed, and walked over to her. He reached out and took her hand. She looked at him, and he mouthed the words ‘you’ll be OK’ to her. She smiled through the tears, and he hugged her.
“I had no idea,” Dawson responded. Joey shrugged.
“Truth or Dare?” she asked cheerfully.
“Dare,” Dawson said, smiling cheekily.
“OK…I dare you to go downstairs and get yourself a drink,” she said, with an identical grin on her face. He nodded, and ran out of the room. She heard him running down the stairs. She only had a few moments. She took of her shoes and socks, and then her jeans. She slid under the covers, and turned off the light. Dawson returned a few minutes later, carrying a glass of Pepsi. The room was dark, and Joey was inside the bed, asleep. He put the glass down, and laid down next to her. He looked at her one more time. The moonlight shone through the crack of the curtains. It made her look even more beautiful. He smiled, unable to contain his happiness at the day’s events. Then he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Joey woke the next morning with a start. She suddenly realized that it was an alarm clock that had woken her. It was switched off. She turned, and saw Dawson beside her. She sat up and remembered that she was in his room. Then, she remembered what had happened last night. She turned to him and smiled.
“Hey,” she said coyly. He smiled at her, and gave her a quick peck on the lips.
“hey,” he returned. “Much as I’d like to sit here with you, we’d better get ready for school.
“I’ll go have a shower. Or do you want one first?” he offered.
“No, that’s all right. I’ll go put on my jeans,” she said, blushing as she realized she wasn’t wearing them now. “You go, though.” He smiled again, and rushed out to the bathroom. She got out of bed, and pulled on her jeans. Then, she put her socks and shoes back on. She looked in his mirror, and noticed what a mess her hair was in. Burrowing Dawson’s comb, she tidied it, and pulled it back in a ponytail. The, she lied on the bed, and flipped on the TV. On the screen, a man in a dark suit was reading the news. She sat idly watching it for a few minutes, and then Dawson entered the room.
“Hey, you coming down for breakfast?” he asked, smiling at her.
“Why have you got that look on your face, Dawson?” she asked, worried.
“I just realized that I have the best girlfriend in the whole world,” he said sweetly. She smiled, and walked over to him. He put his arms around her waist, and they kissed.
“Good answer, Dawson. I gotta got washed though. Just wait here. Katie Couric will be on, I’m sure!” she teased, before walking out of the room.
Joey followed Dawson down the stairs, feeling nervous. She had slept over many times before on a school night, but not since they started at Capeside High. Plus, she was concerned about Dawson’s parents’ reaction. She felt sure it was written all over their faces. But neither of his parents looked up as they entered the kitchen.
“Hey, guys,” Dawson called as he and Joey walked over to the fridge. His father put down the paper.
“Hello, Joey. Hey, Dawson. How are you two this morning?” he asked politely.
“Fine thanks, Mr. Leery,” Joey answered quickly.
“It’s been a while since you stayed over on a school night, Joey,” Gail said, getting up to pour another cup of coffee. Joey looked up at Dawson, who smiled at her.
“Well, you know,” Joey finally said, shrugging. Dawson looked at her questioningly, and she nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted to do.
“Actually, we have some news…” Dawson began. His parents both looked at him expectantly. Joey smiled at Dawson once again. “We’ve kinda decided to be a couple,” he announced. Gail clasped her hands together and smiled.
“Congratulations to the both of you,” she said, hugging Joey. Joey blushed.
“About time too,” Mitch commented. “And I thought you kids were never gonna get together.” Dawson smiled once more at Joey, and rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, I think we’d better get to school, Josephine!” Dawson said brightly.
“OK, Spielberg,” she replied, hitting him lightly for calling her by her full name. Then they left his house, and made the journey to school…
So? Do you like it? I had loads more typed out, but my damned computer lost it. This was written a while back, but I thought I’d put it out there and see if anyone wants it continued. It could stay as a one parter, but what do you think? Send me feedback. I’m also listed as a Beta Reader, so if anyone wants their spelling, punctuation or grammar checked, send it to me. You’ll find it easier to get put up on some sites if it’s been checked. Write to me!
22nd March 1999
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