Let It Rain by: Holly
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Disclaimer: Ownership papers of the Mona Lisa, the
Klockman Diamond, the entire city of Brussels, nope no Dawson’s Creek
papers. Guess I don’t own it. How odd.
Author’s note: I note that school is now out, thank you God!
And thank you to all of you who voted for me in Alex’s contest for best
fanfic writer of the month. I am eternally grateful to you! This part is written
a little differently from mothers, which makes me nervous! Please send me
feedback. Also, I was having trouble naming this piece, and lots of you wrote me
w/ suggestions which I am SO grateful for, but I finally came up with one of my
own I wanted to use—- but thank you so much, you know who you are! One more
thing-— there’s a group of people on the internet—- Concerned Parents
Organization, I think they call themselves and some of what they say is a little
to censorshipy for me. Check out their site and if you agree w/ me why
don’t you drop them a line and tell them so? Shout outs to Robin and
Rating: Actually, not too bad. PG-13, I guess.
Let It Rain
"Hey," Andie said softly, brushing Pacey’s hair off his forehead.
Pacey, who was half awake, opened his bleary eyes fully and replied
Andie handed him a cup of strong black coffee she had gone to the cafeteria to
get when she saw him stirring.
"What time is it?" Pacey asked groggily, taking the coffee
"God," Pacey squinted at his watch. "I can’t believe
we’ve only been here since one. It feels like an eternity.."
Andie nodded and pursed her lips. “Yeah," she agreed softly. "It
"How long have I been asleep?" Pacey took a deep gulp of his coffee
and grimaced at the bitter taste. He hated coffee.
"Since about ten. You feel asleep after that All In The Family rerun."
Andie gave a small smile.
"Where is everyone?" Pacey looked around the empty waiting room in the
maternity wing. The group had moved out to the main area to leave Dawson,
Bessie, the Leery’s, and the baby alone for a while.
"Well, Jack went to scrounge up some new information on how Joey’s
surgery is going, Randy came to pick up Jen so she could get some sleep tonight.
By eleven she had worn herself so ragged comforting Dawson and talking to Joey
that I just took the initiative to call him."
Pacey nodded his head and took another sip of the awful coffee.
"Dawson is sitting outside of surgery, of course, and the Leery’s went
home to change clothes and get some stuff for Dawson about half an hour ago.
They, um, said they’d be back soon. And Bessie is with Lily in the nursery.
I think she just wants to hold on to a part of her sister for a while."
"Is there any new information..?" He asked anticipatory.
"No. Just the same." Andie said forlornly. Joey had coded around seven
o’clock and the doctors hadn’t seen enough of a improvement in the
bleeding after running IV’s of petocin into her regularly. Dr.Pettersen had
explained to Bessie that she needed to sign a waiver for Joey to have emergency
surgery. The doctors were going to run aortal catheters into Joey to try to find
the major arteries bleeding and tie them off.
"I can’t believe she has to have surgery. She’s been in there for
almost five hours now."
"God, this is like a bad nightmare that won’t end,” Pacey groaned
rubbing his eyes and sitting up fully.
"Have you slept at all, Andie?" She shook her head.” Andie, you
have to take care of yourself too, you know. Why don’t I have Jack take you
"No!" Andie yelled. A nurse looked over from a nearby station.
"No, "She said softer. "I want to be here…and we need to
Pacey took one look at her serious face and groaned. “Uh, oh," He
said. "This is going to be bad." Andie glared at him.
"Don’t Joke, Pacey. This is serious. I think.. I think we need to
break up." Andie looked down as Pacey looked up, almost in a see saw
effect. He saw the small tears running down her face. His stomach felt as if
Dougie boy had punched him.
"What? Andie.. what are you.." He took a deep breath. "You know
what? You’ve been under a lot of stress here at the hospital. Maybe
"Pacey that’s just it!" Andie broke in. "Being here at the
hospital, it’s made me realize that I couldn’t handle what Dawson and
Joey are going through. We don’t even know if she’s going to live,
Pacey. Look at Dawson, he’s a wreck. I just want to be a happy teenager,
not one with a friend who is fighting for her life, and another who is
miserable, pleading and praying, grasping on to his daughter for dear
A pained expression matching Andie’s appeared on Pacey’s face.
“And I am sorry to bring this up now, but I just can’t take it
anymore! It’s not fair, Pacey! They should still be teenagers and so should
we dammit! I don’t want to lose these years and I am so, so , so terrified
that something like this will happen to us.." Andie looked at Pacey
pleadingly, searching his eyes, begging him to comfort her, prove her wrong
"Andie," he cleared his throat, "Andie, I wont’ lull you
into a false sense of security. What we have could potentially lead us to this
kind of pain some day."
Andie looked at him shocked.
"Yeah, I know what you want to hear McPhee. You want to hear that I have
some great way of preventing us this kind of hurt."
Andie smiled a bit at how well he knew her.
“Well, I don’t. But what I can give you is the small, however meager,
amount of wisdom I have." Pacey took a deep breath. He was now fighting to
keep the woman he loved.
"No one has it easy in relationships, McPhee. At some point everyone
hit’s a bad spot."
"Now, I don’t know if with your breakdown we’ve already hit our
worst point or if the god’s intend to just continue to pelt us with issues
like hail. I don’t know that." He could do this. He could let his
guard down.. for Andie.
"What I do know is this. I want to grow old with you, Andie." His
voice trembled as did her hands he was holding in his.
" I want to marry you in this, oh, it’s a beautiful wedding gown your
wearing, with like tons of flowers at the…whatchamacalit… the
alter." He paused and stared into her eyes, trying to get a sense of her
reaction to this tirade.
"And I want to have children with you. I want us to hold our first son,
Pacey Jr. together."
This produced a small laugh on her part.
" You holding the baby and me.. me holding you. I want to come home every
day and just know that no matter what I am coming home to someone who loves and
respects me, and whom I love and respect even more." He squeezed her
"Someday," he closed his eyes, as did she, following suit. "Some
day when were 72 years old I will look at you. And I know now, with all my
heart, that I will still think you are the most beautiful, caring, intelligent,
giving, all around wonderful person who has ever graced my existence." He
opened his eyes, to display tears welling in them.
"I love you Andie McPhee. With all my heart, with more than I knew I had.
More than I thought possible in this cruel, bitter, cynical world. I love how
you put me in my place when I’m wrong—you do that SO well!" Andie
" I love how you touch me, as if I’m something worth being gentle
with. You make me feel special, like I’m worth the oxygen you breath.
Andie, you make me want to be a better man. " He chuckled at the movie
quote as she began to try and protest vehemently to the choice of movie. "
I know you hated that movie and thought it was unfaithful to the disease it
portrayed, but hey.. it’s a great line!" Andie smiled up at him,
thinking he was done, she started to speak.
"Wait!" He put a finger to her lips. " I love you Andie. I know
I’ve said that a lot, but I mean it. And I’ll be sappy if it means
keeping you in my life! You make me want to succeed. You push me. Andie, this is
the first time I’ve ever said these words to another living soul.. I NEED
you. And that’s how I know we’ll get through. Because we have to. No
"Besides, I can quote your movie analyzations. Got to be a good sign,
right?" He smiled at her nervously, anticipating a response. She leaned
into him and touched her nose to his.
"Your not gonna get down on bended knee of anything are you, Witter?"
Pacey looked terrified for a moment before he realized she was joking.
"C’mere you vixen! Getting me all nervous like that!” He pulled
her into his lap. She rested her chin on his shoulder as he caressed her hair
and rubbed her shoulder. "So no more crazy talk about us breaking up
right?" He said to Andie sternly.
"Right," she nodded in agreement. A few minutes passed amiably between
the two before a terrifying thought entered Pacey’s mind.
"Say, Andie?" He asked.
"Hmm…?" She said from inside his arms.
"Why’d you bring this up now? It’s just Dawson and Joey
that’s triggering this, right?
Your not uh—" He looked at her, terrified. She groaned and picked up a
magazine in the neighboring chair which she promptly hit him with. “Should
I take that as a no?" He asked jokingly. She laughed as well, and they
bantered for a moment more, before Andie again fell serious.
"Do you think she’ll be okay, Pacey?" Pacey closed his eyes and
pulled his girlfriend toward him, so thankful that he was able to.
" I honestly don’t know, Andie," He whispered into her hair. He
kissed her head. "Jo’s a fighter, but so was her mom. But I have this
feeling Joey wants to see her daughter, so my guess is right now she’s
arguing in that overblown vocabulary of hers with God."
Andie nodded and leaned back into him, snaking an arm behind him to rub his
neck. “I hope she’s alright. I know how much you love her."
Pacey was taken aback for a moment. The Ice Queen? Then he startlingly realized
that, yes, he did love her, exactly like a father of some sort. The father she
"Yes," Pacey’s voice broke. " I do."
He kissed Andie’s head again and the two cried silently, Pacey holding on
tightly. Andie whispered something softly to him in an effort to ease his pain.
"I need you too, Pacey."
He smiled through his tears and joked, "Why do my road trips always turn
out so badly?"
"You don’t have to worry,
You know I’ll understand,
I wanna help you through it, anyway I can
I’m gonna be here for you, take me by the hand
Break through the skies of gray, don’t hold back..”
Across the hall, Dawson walked out of the elevator,wiping his eyes with the
shirt he had been wearing since yesterday. He saw Pacey and Andie snuggling
together and the tears began again. All he could get out of the nurse’s at
surgery was that Joey was in recovery. Dr. Pettersen hadn’t come out yet to
tell him anything. The head nurse had merely repeated the doctor’s orders
that Dawson should go join Bessie in the nursery and she would speak with them
down there,with Lilly at their side. This did not lead Dawson to believe the
news was good. Stealing one last look at the happy couple enviously, Dawson
started toward the nursery to see his daughter.
"Let it rain,
Let your teardrops wash away the pain,
By your side I promise to remain,
My love will pour like sunshine through the rain,
Let it rain.."
Jack looked around the waiting room. An old man, probably just here for the air
conditioning, was the only one that populated the room, besides his siste rand
Pacey. He was thankful that Pacey was able to hold himself together enough to
help Andie. Jack certainly wasn’t in the postion to help her. He was an
absolute mess, all he could think of were the last words he had said to Joey,
what she had begged of him. He couldn’t help raise a child, Lily needed
Joey. And if she didn’t get better, life would never be the same.
A red eyed Bessie smiled as she watched a red eyed Dawson rock his daughter in
the nursery’s rocking chair. He sang softly to her as she greedily sucked
down her bottle, unaware of the turmoil going on around her.
As she inhaled the formula Bessie said wistfully, "I wish Joey could have
breast fed her."
Dawson simply nodded quickly keeping his face averted from Bessie’s eyes.
He continued to sing to his daughter."Smile, though your heart is
aching,smile even though it’s breaking,although a tear may be ever so
near,that’s the time that you must remember..smile…"
"Mitch, I’m scared for him." Mitch nodded at Gail."What if
he loses her?" She asked as they drove back to the hospital just slowly
enough so that theywouldn’t be killed by an oncoming truck. "What
ifLily loses her? Dawson cant’ do this without help ,you know he
can’t." Mitch merely nodded again and kissed Gail’s hand without
even thinking about it. Neither seemed to think it weird, if anything it seemed
"With every touch, I’ll earn your trust
You’ll see my love is for real
S o let me in, I’ll show you how to love again
Don’t have to hide how you feel…"
Jen woke up around one AM in her bed. Randy sat it a chair beside her.
"Randy?" she asked confusedly. "How’d I get here?"
Randy continued to stroke her hair and hold her hand.
"Jen, don’t you remember? I picked you up from the hospital, you fell
asleep in the car?.."
"Ohmigod! How’s Joey?" She asked, the events of the last hours
flooding back to her.
"I just called a little bit ago. She’s in the recovery room.
That’s all they would tell me."
Jen nodded her head."Okay, I have to get back to the hospital." She
stood up and began to run around her room. "Someone should get in touch
with Bodie on the cruise ship, oh, and Joey’s father needs to
know…" She turned quickly toRandy who was sitting with his head down,
looking a tthe floor. "Can you get in touch with people i nprison? You can
call them, right?" She began to quickly pull on a pair of clean jeans under
her long nightshirt.
"Jen, don’t do this," Randy said softly.
"Don’t do what?" Asked Jen, pulling her hair backinto a quick
ponytail. "Let’s get going, Randy." Randy stood up and took her
by the shoulders.
"We’re not going anywhere until you admit to yourself that Joey might
die." Jen looked at him wide eyed and began to rant upsetedly.
"Of course I know she might die, you idiot! That’s why I have to make
all these phone calls and get back to the hospital! God, what’s wrong with
you?" Randy sat her down.
"Jen, look at me." Jen looked away pointedly. "Jen, you say these
words and I’ll be convinced your fine. My best friend Joey might die.. say
them." Jen rolled her eyes. "Look at me and say them and I will drive
you to the hospital. Hell, I’ll pay for the phone calls myself. Just say
"Fine," Jen turned and looked him in the eyes. "My best friend
Joey might.." she saw the warm compassion in his hazel eyes and began to
"Go ahead, Jen. Say it," he said softly.
"She might," she sucked some air in, trying to keep from being
hysterical. "She might die," Jen suddenly broke out in the tears she
had been holding in.
"Yes, she might," Randy said as he held Jen close tohim as her body
wracked with sobs.
"I’ll be here to hold you, hold you when you cry
With my tenderness, I’ll push the clouds aside
We’ll make tonight the night, you leave it all behind
Break through those skies of gray, don’t hold back.."
Dr. Pettersen sat down in a rocking chair across from Dawson and sighed deeply
looking at him and Bessie gripping the back of Dawson’s chair until he
rknuckles turned ashen, the identical color of her face.
"Joey.. will be okay."
Dawson relieved, heaved a sigh. Bessie put her hand to her head and began to
sob, tears letting out all the tension of the past six hours that had seemed
like an eternity.
"However," Dr. Pettersen swallowed hard. God, they were only sixteen.
"We couldn’t find the main artery ruptured. The only way to stop the
bleeding was to perform a complete historectomy on Joey."
Bessie looked up stunned and Dawson seemed confused. "W-Why.." Bessie
managed to stutter out.
"We performed a d and c to try and remove any tissue left over from after
birth, we used tiny camaras to try and find any of the clots or excess
bleeding.. it simply wasn’t enough. To stop the bleeding we simply had to
remove her uterus."
Dawson’s adam’s apple throbbed up and down. He looked as though he was
holding back tears. Then suddenly he looked at Lily in his arms. Then he looked
up at the doctor’s sympathetic face."But she’ll be
Dr. Pettersen nodded. "She’ll make a full recovery."
Dawson looked up at bessie and then handed her the baby. He simply reached over
and hugged Dr. Pettersen tightly. The doctor’s face was shocked. She had
"Thank you for saving her." Dawson whispered.
"Well—your welcome, Dawson," she hugged him back.
"Alright, Lily. It’s time to be burped," Dawson said in a goofy
He picked up his beautiful little girl and held her over his shoulder. Her green
eyes glanced alertly about the room. Dawson glanced over at Joey lying pale
against the bed, machines constantly beeping. He wanted her to wake up. It
wasn’t that he relished the idea of telling her about the hysterectomy, but
he wanted her to see their daughter.HE glanced back at Lily and held her up.
God, she looked like Joey.
"Alright, Lily flower. Why don’t you cuddle up with mommy now?"
HE set the baby down next to Joey and wished she would just open up her eyes.
Suddenly he noticed a reaction. Lily had raised her hand and brushed it against
Joey’s skin. Immeadiatly after,Joey’s eyes had fluttered.Dawson stood
"JOEY! JOEY! JO! C’mon come back to me baby." He heard an
indignant sound come out of Joey’s dry mouth. It was somewhat obstructed by
the oxygen going in through a tube in her nose, but he could haves worn he heard
"Call me baby again andyou’ll get a fist up your nose. Then
we’ll see whose really a baby."
Her eyes opened and she stared surprised up at Dawson and the small person lying
"Doctor!" Dawson whooped running out of the room.
"Let it rain
Let your teardrops wash away the pain
By your side I promise to remain
My love will pour like sunshine through the rain
Let it rain.."
Pacey and Andie looked up from a repeat of Jeopardy. Pacey had just answered
another question under the category called "DUCKS." Andie looked at
"What?" He said. "So I know I lot about the Mighty kingdom of
Ducks." All of a sudden they noticed Dawson yelling and dancing…? He
ran and picked Andie up. Pacey eyes opened wide in shock.
"Hey, man, you have your own girlfriend." Andie gave Pacey a look, a
reminder at how he had put his foot in his mouth, as usual, but Dawson merely
"Yes I do!" He said. " And she’s awake!" Pacey opened
his eyes a little wider and gave his friend a huge hug.
"Man, I am so happy for you—"
"Oh, shit! The baby!" Dawson suddenly interjected and ran back to
"Oh, yeah," said Pacey. "A regular father of theyear."
HE put his arm around Andie who happily replied, "It’s a pretty damned
good thing Joey woke up!"
"You’ll see a brighter day
Let my love lead the way
To a rainbow in the sky
Tears of joy will fill your eyes—
Let it rain…"
"OH my god!" Jen dropped the phone and ran happily to Randy and hugged
him. Randy could hear Pacey laughing on the other end of the phone.
" I take it Joey’s alright, and this isn’t about the Knick’s
winning some basketball game?" Randy joked. Jen hit him playfully and then
looked into his eyes.
"Thank you," She said. "For saving my sanity."
He merely nodded and brought his lips down to hers for a kiss.
"You’ll see a brighter day
Let my love lead the way"
Gail and Mitch were just parking in the hospital lot when they heard their cell
phone ring. Gail flipped it on quickly and listened for a moment before she
smiled up at Mitch.
"She’s going to be okay," Gail said. Mitch leaned over and kissed
her, without even thinking, Gail still holding the phone. She easily received
his kiss and pressed her lips against his tightly.
Jack watched Bessie, Dawson, Pacey, and Andie all celebrate as Lily watched on
puzzled. He nodded hishead, satisfied. Everything could work out now. For all of
"To a rainbow in the sky
Tears of joy will fill your eyes—
Let it rain…"© Jennifer Paige, "Let It Rain"
"I was so worried about you, Joey. We all were. Thank you for coming back
to me." Dawson kissed his love gently. Tears of joy stood in his eyes. Joey
reached out her hand to him.
"How could I not?" She asked hoarsly, her throat still dry from being
unconcious for so long. "Can I see my daughter?"
" I anticipated that seeing her might be higher on your agenda than
spending quality time with me," Dawson joked. "She’s on her way
up from the nursery." Joey looked up at Dawson and smiled.
"I heard you already named her, you jerk." Dawson looked at Joey
"B-but, I-I thought you’d like Lillian, after your mom." Joey
rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Dawson, don’t take me so seriously. I love the name.Thank you."
Joey watched as Nancy carefully rolled the portable crib into the room.Nancy
picked up Lily and handed her to Joey slowly, careful not to disturb any of the
machines that weres till attached to the teenager. Joey lifted up her arms to
receive the part of her that she had yet to see.
"Oh, she’s beautiful.."
"Yes, she is, " Nancy agreed. "You had us all worried there for
awhile, Joey. Welcome back." She smiled warmly at Joey who grinned back.
"Well, I will leave you alone for a while. Don’t’ tire yourself
out though." Nancy walked out of the room briskly, trying to keep her own
small tears from showing.
"Dawson, isn’t she beautiful?" Joey asked, fingering Lily’s
small hands and toes. She tweaked her nose.
"Just like her mother," Dawson’s voice cracked as he kept his
eyes on Joey. Joey looked quickly up at him and blushed.
"Cheese puff," she said smugly.
"Ice Queen," he retaliated.
"Dreamer," was the reply.
"Cynic," came from his mouth.
"The man I love," she said, looking back down at herdaughter.
"The woman I need," he whispered. And there the family of three sat
for hours. Dawson watching Joey, Joey watching Lily, and Lily watching the two
nuttypeople and wondering where her REAL parents were.
"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith cause you believed
I’m everything I am because you loved me.."© Celine Dion
"Because You Loved Me"
An hour later, after Lily had gone to sleep in Joey’s arms Dawson looked
intensly at Joey.
"Honey? I need to tell you something.." Joey looked up expectantly.
Dawson took her hand and began to rub it gently. "When they did surgery on
you.. well, the only way they could stop all the bleeding was to.. well, it was
to give you a hysterectomy," Joey looked at him blankly. "They had to
remove your uterus," Dawson clarified.
" I know what a hysterectomy is," Joey said tearing her gaze away from
him and looking back down at Lily."Don’t we have the most beautiful
little girl ever?"
Dawson looked on helplessly as Joey continued to coo over their daughter. Was
this because she had missed bonding time or was it what he suspected—Joey
couldn’t face that she could never have another child.
And if Joey could never have another child…neither could he.
"I will stand like a rock,
I will bend till I break
Till there’s no more to give, if that’s what it takes I will risk
I will fight
I will bleed
I will lay down my life, if that’s what you need…"© Celine
Dion, "If That’s What It Takes"
Okay, guys, I don’t feel as good about this one, b/cI kind of
wrote it in a different kind of fashion, so email me here and please tell me
what you thought. If you hated it, be honest.
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