Hold Onto the Nights by: Jeannie

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Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile
And my mind could not erase the beauty of your face
Just for awhile
Won't you let me shelter you
Hold on to the nights hold on the memories
I wish I could give you something more
That I could be yours
How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise
What happens now
Do we break another rule
Let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how
To stop feeling this way

Well I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free
Every time I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there
Hold on to the nights

~ Richard Marx

Dawson had no answers to the millions of questions swirling around in his head. Dawson only knew he missed Joey, and more than anything he wished he was laying next to her paraphrasing movies, like they always did at movie night.

Dawson tied the boat back to the dock, and slowly walked towards to his house wondering what Joey was doing right now. Dawson couldn't make himself go inside so he sat instead on his front steps.

Mrs. Leery just gotten home from a long day at the station noticed her son looking very depressed. Mrs. Leery walked over to him, and sat down beside him, disturbing his thoughts.

Dawson: Hi, Mom.

Mrs. Leery: Dawson? Honey, what are you doing out here? Where's Joey?

Dawson (sighs): Joey's upstairs in my room probably watching the movies I rented for this evening's movie night.

Mrs. Leery: Dawson, I don't mean to invade your privacy but I am curious since tonight is movie night…why aren't you up there with her? Did you two have a fight?

Dawson: No, nothing like that…I just needed some fresh air.

Mrs. Leery looked at Dawson's eyes avoiding to meet hers, and knew something was wrong between them. Mrs. Leery had never seen such a miserable face in all her life.

Mrs. Leery: Dawson, you're hiding something from me…and you have never been good at lying to me. Honey, you and I both know being upstairs with Joey has nothing to do with you wanting some air. So tell me what's wrong so maybe I can.

Dawson: Thanks for the offer, but I really don't think you can help me. My life is too complicated to even verbalize.

Mrs. Leery: Try me.

Dawson sat there silent unable to open up how he was feeling, which was lousy. Dawson couldn't explain the situation to his mother, he couldn't even explain it to himself. Mrs. Leery accepted Dawson wasn't going to volunteer information, and he had drifted back into space. Standing up, she looked at his forlorn expression and patted his knee.

Mrs. Leery: Dawson, I understand you need time to be alone, but remember I am here if you need me.

Dawson forced a smile to show his mother he appreciated her support despite everything that had happened between them in the past.

Dawson: Thanks, mom, but some matters I have to handle on my own…this is one of them.

Mrs. Leery smiled at how independent and strong Dawson was, how he always been throughout his whole life. Mrs. Leery remembered back to when Dawson was little, and became determined to potty train himself. He did too, he always took control of his life, and she was so proud of who he was. She loved him, her little boy that was now turning into a man before her own eyes.

Mrs. Leery: I understand that, Dawson…I just wanted to say I know Joey and you have been best friends for years…I couldn't pick a better match for you. Joey is wonderful, and I am so glad you have each other. I also know with a connection as deep as the one you two share they'll be problems that test your relationship. Feelings change, and you two are growing up. I just want you to know that I do know how deep your feelings are for another…and you and Joey will always be together no matter what else happens.

Dawson: I hope so Mom, Joey is the most important person in my life. She is the one that keeps my feet planted in the ground as my head stays hidden in the clouds. I don't know what I would do without her, I don't even want to think about that. I can always count on her, she is always right there for me. I find myself sometimes thinking about her, and wondering if possibly she could be thinking of me too. I don't know what is happening to us. I care for her, but I don't know if it's in the way of friendship…or more. Things are so frustrating, and I feel like I am going to lose her because my feelings are so mixed up right now.

Mrs. Leery: Well, don't you think Joey is confused, too? I mean she has very strong feelings for you Dawson, and it wasn't easy for her to keep them from you.

Dawson: Mom, how strong do you think her feelings for me are? Do you think she loves me like everyone says she does?

Mrs. Leery:  What do you think, Dawson? You saw her at the Windjammer pageant singing her heart out…singing to you. Do you think she loves you?

Dawson: I don't know, I don't know anything anymore. All I do know is that Joey's and I relationship is the strongest I have ever felt. I have never felt this way about Joey before, and now that I am, I wonder how I didn't in the first place. This isn't the first time I have had to question our relationship…before Jen came to town I had to think about it. Joey told me we could no longer sleep in the same bed, and that we couldn't talk to each other the way we use to. I tried to convince her we could, but somehow after that night things started to change for us. I never knew the reason could be because Joey really did have feelings that ran deeper that friendship for me…and that I might also. God, things we so much more simple when I didn't know, and I was still hung up on Jen.

Mrs. Leery: Dawson, how did you feel about Jen? Did you truly love her or was it a crush? I don't mean to put Jen down, but she was never right for you. I am in no way allowed to cast stones considering my past, but Jen wasn't perfect like you thought. She had problems that she needed to sort out, and dating you was just a way of avoiding them.

Dawson: I don't know if it was love or not, I mean I thought it was…but I have never been in love for sure so I have no way of knowing. It hurt when Jen dumped me, more than I thought it would. I was aware of Jen's past, but I thought I could help her…give her some to lean on. Everything was already changing when Jen entered my life, my relationship with Joey, our home life, my feelings. Making Jen perfect kept one thing simple, and uncomplicated…well that was until I found out Jen's hidden secret…then I just lived in denial.

  Mrs. Leery: the one thing about denial, Dawson…is sooner or later reality reaches up and bites you in the butt.

Dawson: Yeah and it bites hard. Mom tell me when did you know when you were really in love with dad?

Mrs. Leery: Well, Dawson, I just one day stared into his eyes and knew. I just got completely lost in them, and a feeling just over came me. I had never felt it before, it was so warm and tingling. Dawson, when you are truly in love, you will know. Nothing compares to the feeling, and it is life altering.

Dawson: I guess I have never felt it before. I am not sure I ever will, it seems I am just not meant to fall in love.

Mrs. Leery: You will someday, Dawson…and when you least expect it to. It sneaks up on you, and just pounces. Don't be so quick to expect it, just let it happen naturally.

Dawson: I'll try, Mom, but I can't help wanting to have my script prepared for when it does.

Mrs. Leery (laughing): Always the ambitious director, well I think you can't script it you can only feel and revel in it. Well honey, I am glad we talked but I am exhausted, and ready for bed. Will you be in soon? I know there is a pretty brunette waiting to hear the explanation of where you have been all night long.

Dawson: In a little while Mom, I still need some more time to think. I am just not ready to face Joey yet.

Mrs. Leery: Okay, but don't take too long. Procrastination will only make the situation worse.

Mrs. Leery left to go inside, and leave Dawson to his thinking. After a few more minutes Dawson brushed himself off, and started to his trek upstairs to see Joey. Dawson opened his bedroom door expecting to see Joey sitting or sleeping on his bed, but instead propped up on his pillows was a note in Joey's handwriting. Dawson picked up the letter, and checked to see if Joey's boat was still tied to the dock. Dawson frowned when he saw it was gone. Dawson, disappointed, laid on his bed, and opened the letter.


I waited for you but you seemed to really need to think so I felt it was better if I went home. See you tomorrow at school hopefully. Thanks for letting me see the tape, I enjoyed it. I don't know what is going on between us right now, but I think we need to talk sometime. Well goodnight, and sweet dreams

  Your best friend,
Joey Potter

Dawson closed the letter, and rolling over onto his side, tried to go to sleep. Finding it useless to try since he felt so empty and confused, he turned on the radio beside him. Dawson hoped music would somehow drown out his sorrows, and make him forget how alone he felt without Joey lying beside him. Locating his favorite station he stared vacantly at the ceiling just letting the words the songs penetrate his thoughts. Dawson's eyelids started to droop as the song that was playing ended, and another started.

  I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

  Laying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank god we're together
Forever and ever

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here with this moment
For all the rest of time
Baby, baby

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

  ~ I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

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