Summary-This is from the first season. It's the diary entries from the characters from the "Breakfast Club" episode. They're talking about the day's events.
Disclaimer-*Sigh* Who here actually cares? You know, besides that pack of lawyers over there in the corner, grinning like hyenas, just waiting for me to neglect to mention that I DON'T OWN DC! Hah! Thought you had me there! Well I'm not getting sued. Yeah yeah, I see you over there whispering, "we can still get her if she doesn't say who does own DC." I'm onto you. DC belongs to Kevin Williamson, Columbia TriStar, and the WB. HaHaHa! The Lawyers>"noo! We're melting, we're melting! Auntie Em, Auntie Em, We're not in Capeside anymore." Never mess with a Creek Freak. And now that I've completely scared the crap out of you, onto the story:
Tonight was…I don't know exactly how to describe it. Cataclysmic maybe. Almost as if today set the tone for what the rest of the year would be like. I wonder if Spielberg ever made a movie like this…I'll have to check my libraries.
You know how Pacey and Joey always tell me to stop living in the movies? Well, I don't think it's me living in the movies, I think it's almost me IN the movies. Hang on there, I see you floundering for understanding. I'll clarify.
It all began with a stupid basketball game. Usually I'm so levelheaded and in control that I won't let my jealousy overwhelm my actions. I always let my mind…and the movies, be the deciding factor. And I tried to justify my actions, seeking gratification that in some way, it wasn't my fault. But the truth is that I was so involved in the introspection of what was happening that I missed the big picture.
So I went to detention with Jen, who was there for saying 'bitch' in class. She actually told me that I deserved detention. I was hurt, confused, felt betrayed, but she was right. She usually is. She's just like Joey in that way.
Speaking of Joey, she was there also. As was Pacey, who was royally brassed off at me. And just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse, Abby Morgan showed up. Abby Morgan of all people.
So I spent the day with my best friend who's been distant, my other best friend who was angry with me, the gossip queen of Capeside, and my girlfriend who I felt was slipping from my grasp.
The day was progressing slowly to say the least There wasn't much to do. Until Abby got the incredibly trite and banal idea to play Truth or Dare. That was when everything went wrong.
To start with, she dared Pacey and Jen to kiss. One of my best friends and my girlfriend. This did nothing for my already bruised ego. Even though Pacey and Jen both swore they felt nothing for each other, I was still upset.
Then came the kicker. Pacey dared Joey to kiss me. It was odd; I had never perceived Joey in a romantic manner. She was always a sister to me, someone to count on.
I thought the kiss would be awkward and a bit incestuous, but the thing was, it wasn't. And that's the confusing part.
Does the fact that the kiss didn't feel weird mean something? Or was I just in such a state of shock that I wasn't really feeling anything? And I swear, for a few brief moments in that kiss, I forgot it was Joey, the tomboy from down the creek…
But that's beside the point. I mean, god, this is Joey. I remember her having the lopsided braids and the two teeth missing. There is no way I'm developing a 'thang' for my friend, no way.
How can I describe today. Eventful. That would be one way of putting it. Definitely eventful.
I know I'm dating Dawson, but I sometimes feel that I'm more of a possession to him than a partner. I don't want to be some glass doll that he proudly displays to everyone, keeping her in a glass case.
Not that I would call myself a glass doll. I'm hardly fragile. I'm a tough girl, but that comes from life in New York. In New York, you either grow up fast or you end up in the gutter. It's just the way things are.
And Capeside's such a parallel. In New York, everything's so fast. Like, if New York's a roller coaster ride, twisting and turning, then Capeside's the Merry-Go-Round. Or maybe the Ferris Wheel. Nice, steady, and unbelievably slow.
Dawson's a lot like that too. Very nice, you can always count on him, but he sometimes doesn't get things. Like today in detention. He actually thought that me and Pacey had something going on. No offense to Pacey, but I don't think so. Dawson should know that he's the only one for me. I hope today isn't an indicator of days to come.
And I've finally figured out why Joey doesn't like me. It's not that she doesn't like me, it's that Dawson does like me. And I understand that, I do. I'm human, I'm not a stranger to jealousy.
Yes, I definitely understand jealousy. Because when Dawson and Joey kissed today, that's what I felt. Boy did I ever feel jealousy.
I know it was just a dare, but in some ways it wasn't, at least not to Joey. This was something she had been waiting for and hoping for. She'll never admit it, but she was. But like I said, I don't blame her. She's human like the rest of us.
But then I wondered, how did Dawson react to the kiss? I don't know for sure, but from my point of view, he was definitely into it. Like for a moment there he forgot it was Joey.
I should keep those thoughts out of my head. It was probably nothing. I mean, Joey's his best friend. He couldn't possibly have feelings for her…could he?
* * *
I was never one to write to a diary. I don't feel that unloading my problems on a few sheets of paper will actually solve anything. It never did. I wrote in my diary when my mom was dying; she still died. I wrote in my diary when my dad was on trial; he still went to jail. And I wrote in my diary when I realized I had a teeny little itty bitty thang for my best friend; and now he's dating Jen.
So you see why I don't really believe it will do anything. But I feel like unleasing all this pent up energy and there's no one I can talk to. Can't talk to Bessie, sisterly talks go to your head. Bodie's a guy, he wouldn't get it. Alex is a baby, too young. Dawson, hah! He is the issue. Jen, nope, it would be putting it mildly to say that we aren't friends. And I'd have to be on drugs to talk to Pacey about this.
Okay, so here's what happened. It all started when Grant Bodine, ass of the school, decided to make me his 'concubine.' Like I would ever actually become one of those football groupies who bang every jock in sight. I'd rather kiss Pacey.
So I got fed up and I decked him. I feel like doing that a lot to people who are jerks, but this was the first time in school. And it felt good. I got in a lot of trouble, but it was worth it.
And that's how I ended up in Saturday detention….with Pacey, Abby Morgan, Jen….and Dawson.
Suffice to say, it was tense. Abby was making everyone's time hell, Jen and Dawson were fondling each other and Pacey wasn't his usual charming self, but that might be a good thing, I haven't decided. Basically I was alone. And if I wasn't already upset enough, Abby made it worse.
First, she dared me to kiss Dawson. That wasn't too bad, just embarrassing. It was one hell of a kiss, though. It was like it stopped time. Dawson would say it's the kiss love stories are made of. That might be pushing it, but it was definitely nice.
Then, she told Jen that I loved Dawson. That was horrible. Jen was the last person I wanted to know. Actually, Dawson is, but Jen's right up there. I was afraid Jen would laugh in my face, flaunt that she was dating him, and then go and tell him so they could have a nice laugh together before jumping each other. Maybe I was secretly hoping she would. So I'd have a reason to hate her. Freud would have a field day with that.
But she didn't and that was the surprising part. She didn't tell, at least not that I know of. She was surprisingly okay with it. She even seemed to understand, but I don't know how she could.
So this day was already hell, but hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen, it gets worse. Jen and Dawson were having such a cheesy happy moment afterwards, that I half expected to hear a canned audience going "Awww," just like they do in sitcoms. I was so upset that I basically blurted that I had feelings for him. Good going, Joey.
But you can always count on Dawson to be oblivious. He's stable that way. He didn't get it! Abby got it, she figured it out on her own. Jen knew, Abby told her. I knew, duh. Pacey, I think, was figuring it out, he's surprisingly perceptive for a guy, but Dawson didn't get it! I'm not sure whether to be offended or relieved.
So to make a long story short, an already horrible day turned into a day worthy of a Wes Craven flick. A total nightmare. I expected Freddie Krueger to pop out and slash me with his fingers and end the nightmare. Unfortunately, he didn't.
Now that I sound completely like a whiny, hormonally unbalanced teenager, like all the ones I hate, I'll stop. I guess I feel a little bit better, after unloading all of this. Maybe I'll do this more often. Then again, my life usually isn't interesting enough to write about. Oh well. Maybe that's a good thing.
* * *
Hey, what's up. Pacey here. I'm not much of a details guy, so I'll make this brief. I was in detention for reasons I'd rather not talk about, since I live with 3 sisters and a brother determined to destroy me who could easily find this diary. They'd wonder what I'm doing with a diary, bring it to my dad, who would make me feel like a bigger loser than I already am.
Not that I'm bitter.
It wasn't just bad for me. Dawson's having issues, but what else is knew. Jen was trying to maintain order out of chaos, something I don't completely understand, but she does it anyway. Joey was trying to hide her infatuation with our mutual friend Dawson Leery. I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out yet. For a perceptive guy, he's pretty dense.
Here's the kicker. Abby Morgan was there too. Abby Morgan, could the day get any worse? The answer, folks, is yes, it can get much much worse.
Abby, always the instigator, dared me to kiss Jen. She knew Dawson was already obsessed with this little theory of his that I'm taking Jen from him, so he was less than thrilled. So we fought, settled a score, then I skipped on home like Beaver Cleaver.
I basically had to reveal why I was in detention, which I still refuse to say. It was embarrassing enough at detention, I refuse to repeat that little scenario.
So an already bad day turned worse. Although it could be worse. I could be Jen, worrying constantly that my boyfriend (which I DO not have, if you want that, read Doug's diary) is one day going to notice the tomboy down the creek and leave me. I could be Dawson, with my fairy tale life falling apart. Although I wouldn't mind being in his situation, with 2 girls vying for me. I could be Joey, which is a truly frightening thought. I wouldn't be in the ice queen's shoes if you promised me a date with every hot cheerleader in the world. Or I could be Abby Morgan, but that would never happen seeing as I'm human and she's not.
But like I said, I'm not a details guy, so I'm going to end this now. Just end it. No charming endings, no thoughts to ponder. Want that, read Dawson's diary….Actually I'd kind of like to see what's in it. "Dear Diary, stalked Spielberg, fretted over whether or not to date the tall brunette or the curvy blond, and put on that 'deep thoughtful' face that turns on the girls. Ho hum, what a boring day."
* * *
My god, who could ever think that the backwater blacksheep could ever have such juicy lives. Mrs. Tringle should have just skipped Days and watched them if she wanted a soap opera.
So here's the scene. You have Dawson, the annoyingly perfect male specimen who is completely oblivious. You have the town strikeout artist, who is having mental issues, but what else is new. You have the poor little spoiled girl from New York, who's trying way too hard to be everyone's friend. You have the sarcastic tomboy from down the creek who has some tortured adolescent life and the hots for her best friend. Then you have me, the only sane one in the bunch.
So naturally I made the best of a bad situation. I tried to show them exactly what they were, but do they listen to me? Of course not. Dawson needs help. He could be halfway cool if he would just stop acting like a nice guy and be a butthead like the rest of them. Jen has potential, she should just be more aggressive, but I could teach her that if she'd let me. Joey would be cool, if she weren't such a reject. And Pacey's beyond help. He should just be shot. Mercy killing, the town would thank me.
But they actually have lives, shocker of the day. Pacey's mad at Dawson, because Dawson thinks Pacey's taking Jen, who is jealous of Joey, who's in love with her best friend Dawson, who's so oblivious, he wouldn't get it if you beat him over the head with a 2 by 4.
So the question of the day, is how to make this better? By bringing everything out in the open, of course. If you don't just say this stuff, it eats you alive, and you'll end up like Pacey or Joey. Town rejects. Such a tragedy. Well, not really.
But of course, they didn't thank me. I mean, come on! I told them more about themselves then they've learned in a lifetime. They should thank me! But do they, no. It's always the nice ones who get the short end of the stick.
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