In Love and War
(a.k.a. Tainted Love)

Rating-PG

Summary-Joey's in France. Pacey sorta-kinda-maybe-possibly has a teensy thing for Joey. Luke has the major hots for Joey, which makes Maggie steam like a teapot. Hmmm it would seem that Joey has Jen's old role...oh the possibilities...

Classification-Love Rectangle! Wahoo! My next goal is a Love Pentagon, then maybe a Love Decagon. My ultimate goal is a love circle, wouldn't that be just Jim-Dandy-smack-my-arse-and-call-me-Susan-peachy-keen?

In Love and War

Sometimes I feel I've got to...run away
I've got to...get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my life
For I toss and turn
I can't sleep at night
Once I ran to you, now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
I gave you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not really all
Tainted love, oh, tainted love
Now I know I've got to...run away
I've got to...get away
You don't really want anymore from me
To make things right you need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray
But I'm sorry, I don't pray that way
Once I ran to you, now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
I gave you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not really all
Tainted love, oh, tainted love
Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go
Tainted love
Oh, tainted love
Oh, Tainted love
Oh, Tainted love
Touch me baby tainted love
Touch my baby tainted love
~Tainted Love by Soft Cell

Pacey shook his head at Dawson. "Get over it man," he said, "She'll be back at the end of the term. And it's not like you can't call her."

"You don't understand, Pacey," Dawson said, "You don't know what it's like to wonder if she's thinking about you as much as you're thinking of her, to wonder if she's ok, if she's met someone else..."

Pacey didn't say anything. Possibly out of respect for Joey, maybe out of not wanting to meddle, but more than likely because he knew Joey would kick his butt if he told.

"Don't worry about it," Pacey said, "The rest of the world has known that she's been head over heels in love with you since the time she could say 'Bite me, Pacey.' Those feelings just don't die."

"I wouldn't say that," Jen said softly, looking at Dawson, "You'd be amazed how quickly someone can forget someone else when there's another girl...or guy in the picture."

Pacey gave Jen a "you're not helping" look. Jen just shrugged and said, "It's true."

Dawson groaned and put his head in his hands. "Jen's right," he said, "I mean, there are other guys in the world who have noticed how pretty she is. And now that I'm not there, what's to stop her from seeing them?" "She'll always be in love with you," Pacey said somewhat jealously, "she's never even looked at another guy. You know, except that one steamy night I shared with her after the carnival." Dawson gave him a look.

"Just kidding," Pacey said.

"You know," Dawson said somewhat suspiciously, "from the way you always talk about her and tease her, I'd almost think you were in love with her too."

"What?" Pacey said quickly, "Me in love with the human ice cube? You've got to be joking."

"Something about Mary," Jen said.

Dawson and Pacey looked at Jen, who had been abnormally silent for the last couple of weeks. "What?" Pacey asked.

"Well," Jen said, "it's like that movie, 'Something about Mary.' Mary was the pretty girl who made all those guys feel so special that they fell in love with her. There were about eight of them in the movie. Joey seems to have that effect too. Wouldn't surprise me if she already had a horde of guys out in France."

Dawson and Pacey looked at each other with stricken looks. Jen looked between them. "What?" she asked.

*****

Joey picked up her things as the teacher dismissed the class. She had just headed out and was partly down the stairs when she heard someone call her name.

"Hey!" came a male voice. Joey turned around and came face to face with the boy from the cafeteria.

"Yes?" she asked somewhat suspiciously, "Do I know you?"

"Um," the boy said, stuttering, "now exactly. My name's Luke. From English and Geometry?"

"Oh yeah," Joey said, "I'm..."

"Joey," the boy said, "I know. I mean, I don't know you, but I know who you are because....well the reason's not important, I just know. You know, who you are."

The boy looked so nervous and so red in the face that Joey nearly burst out giggling. "You don't have to be nervous," she said.

"Oh I'm not," Luke said quickly, "It's just, I don't usually do this, you know, talking to people. People I don't know. Except I sort of know you only I don't, so I thought it wouldn't feel as weird only it does and now I'm babbling and I'm going to shut up and go away before you think I'm an even bigger moron."

Luke turned to go, but Joey grabbed his arm. "Wait," she said.

Luke got ten times as nervous when she touched him. "Yeah?" he asked, turning around.

"Do you want to like go get something to eat," Joey asked, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah!" Luke said, "I mean, sure, if you don't mind."

"Let's go," Joey said, smiling.

Joey and Luke walked away in the direction of the Dinner Hall, and Maggie stepped out from the doorframe where she had been listening. Wiping her eyes quickly so no one would see the beads of tears forming in her eyes, she rushed off to follow them to the Dinner Hall.

*****

Joey and Luke sat down at a table over in the corner. Just a few feet away, Maggie had snagged an empty table. To keep Luke from recognizing her, she pulled her curly hair up in a large floppy hat. Leaning back in her chair just a bit, Maggie was able to catch bits of the conversation.

"...so I told Dawson that I needed this break. From him, from my life, from everything," Joey was saying, "he didn't take it so well, but I've been calling him and writing him, so I think that's helping some."

Maggie cocked an eyebrow. Another boy. Interesting. She wondered how Luke would react to that news.

Surprisingly Luke seemed ok with it. "I understand," he said, "sometimes you just have to experience the world, meet new people..."

Maggie rolled her eyes. Someone should smack a big dunce hat on his head. How obvious could he be? She could practically see the ideas forming in his head.

"Exactly!" Joey said excitedly, "I'm so glad someone understands." 'I'm so glad someone understands,' Maggie mimicked.

"Well," Luke said, "We all need someone to understand us. I'm still looking for that person."

Maggie's eyes shot open. Still LOOKING?! What was she, chopped liver? Maggie ground her teeth and made a mental note to put bleach in his shampoo.

"I hope you find that person," Joey said.

"I think I have," Luke replied softly.

Maggie bit her lip. Great. Now Joey probably knew he liked her. Maggie didn't have a chance.

Joey was saying something, but it was too soft for Maggie to hear. Leaning back a bit more, Maggie lost her balance and fell flat on her back. Luke and Joey turned around quickly to look at her. "Maggie?" Luke asked quickly.

Maggie stood up quickly, brushed herself off, and flashed an embarrassed smile at Luke. "Oh, hey," she said, "I was just, practicing my balance skills. I might need them for cheerleading." Looking at Joey and not trying to disguise her jealousy, Maggie asked, "Are you a cheerleader? You have that certain look."

Something flickered behind Joey's eyes, and Maggie couldn't decide if it was anger or confusion. "No I'm not," Joey said, "I believe that exuding too much school spirit eventually leads to brain damage."

Luke laughed and that made Maggie fume a bit more. "Well I'm sorry if I interrupted something," Maggie asked, "I'll just go back to being nobody again."

Maggie stormed off. Luke looked after her. Turning to Joey, he said, "I'd better go see what that's about. Maggie's not usually like that." "Yeah, bye," Joey said, somewhat dazed.

*****

Maggie slammed the front door of the dorm building. "Ow," said a voice behind her. Turning around, she saw Laround, she saw Luke r

"Sorry," Maggie mumbled. She started to walk to the girl's wing, but Luke grabbed her arm.

"What the hell was that, Maggie," he asked, "I mean, you basically insulted Joey. You don't even know her. I bet if you got to know her, you might like her."

"Like I like my period and shoving tampons up my butt," Maggie said, "And what was that about 'not having anyone who understands me?' Poor baby. What am I then, huh?"

Luke's face darkened. "You weren't meant to hear that," he said.

Maggie threw her hands up in the air. "You said it," she said, "I think I have a right to know how you feel about me, I think I deserve much."

"How I feel about you?" Luke asked, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I want to know right now," Maggie said, "Do you care for me any at all, as a friend or whatever, or am I just some poor girl you pity and let hang around you?"

"WHAT?" Luke asked, "Maggie, know you've got me confused. What exactly are you upset about? I asked you why you were being a queen bitch to Joey and now you've turned it into how I feel about you? You're my friend, that's it. That's what I think of you. You're a good friend I trust. Why do you care?"

Maggie had a crushed look on her face. "I've got my answer," she said, walking away.

Luke stared after her for a moment. "Was it something I said?" he wondered.

*****

Jen walked in her house and dropped her books on the floor. "Grams?" she called. There was no reply.

Jen walked through the house and finally found her Grams lying asleep on her Gramps' old bed. She was holding the pillow he had slept on and slight tears had formed in her eyes.

Jen smiled softly. Her Grams had really loved her Gramps. It almost made Jen wonder if anyone would love her like that.

Feeling the need to clear her head, she walked outside and started heading to the dock. Looking at the dock, she realized she wasn't the only one who had thought of going there. Dawson was already sitting on the dock, staring out at the water, like he expected Joey to come rowing up.

Jen sighed. It was inevitable. She had to face him sometime. Walking over to the dock, she sat down beside him. "Hey," she said.

Dawson turned to her with a shocked expression, like he hadn't expected anyone to be there. "Hey," he said.

"Still waiting for her to come rowing down the creek?" Jen asked. Dawson nodded. "It's hard to believe she's thousands of miles away," he said.

Jen nodded. "I understand," she said, "I know you're thinking, 'how could she possibly understand' but I do."

Dawson looked at her curiously. Jen continued.

"Sometimes, you just feel..." Jen said, pausing for a moment, "I don't know, alone. Like everyone who cares about you is a million miles away. Even if they're right there, they're not really there." Jen looked at him to see his reaction. He just nodded.

"Sometimes I wonder if she's thinking of me," Dawson said, "I wonder if she's forgotten me. I wonder if she still loves me. It's so hard to make it through the day wondering if someone still loves you or if you were just a blast from the past."

Jen looked at him. For someone so perceptive, he could sure be clueless. Now she knew what Joey had felt. "Feelings don't just die," Jen said, looking at her hands, "sometimes they hide for a while, but you never really get over feelings." Jen paused for a moment and swallowed. "She'd be a fool to get over you," Jen said finally.

Dawson smiled. "Thanks Jen," he said, standing up, "You're a great friend."

Jen smiled as Dawson walked away. "Yeah," she said to herself, the smile fading into a sadder smile, "friend."

To Be Continued in "Clueless"
a.k.a. "Crazy for You"

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