Breakdown by: Lindsay

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Hey, this is my new fanfic, the seventh story in my series. Actually, something awful happened while I was writing the ending scene of this one. My computer froze up, and I lost the entire last scene. I had to rewrite it. It's all dialogue, and very little situation, as is this entire episode, so it was really hard for me to reproduce it again. It's not as good as what I wrote before my computer froze, but it's the best I could do. Anyway, hope you like it.
--Lindsay

Spoiler: Takes place right after "Double Trouble"

Breakdown

[OPEN: Right where "Double Trouble" left off. A close up of Joey, a shocked look on her face.]

JOEY: You're kidding.

[cut to Jen]

JEN: Yeah, I wish I was.

JOEY (sighs, sitting down at the table): So *now* what do we do?

JEN: I guess we'll both just have to take it again. Or-

JOEY: Or *what*?

JEN: Maybe we should go to the doctor.

JOEY: Oh no. Huh-uh. No way. Not in this town. It's bad enough I had to go in for birth control. If we do that, it's gonna get around.

JEN: Yeah? Well it's better than spending ten bucks for *another* test that can easily be screwed up by human error.

JOEY: Human error?

JEN: Yeah, happens all the time. Maybe neither of us is pregnant. Maybe we both are. We should have gone to the doctor first. These tests are a waste of time. (pauses, Joey looks unhappy) Joey, I know you're right about people finding out, but I've got news for you. When you start to resemble Keiko (Joey smiles a little), people are gonna know. There's no avoiding it.

JOEY: Man, this sucks.

JEN (sitting down next to her): No kidding.

[Scene cuts to Dawson and Pacey, in Dawson's room. Pacey is holding a phone. He slams it down in frustration.]

DAWSON: *Still* busy? (Pacey doesn't answer) Pacey, man, why don't you just go over there?

PACEY: You know what? I think I will.

[He gets up and walks to the window, just as Joey's face pops up. She looks surprised to see Pacey]

JOEY: Pacey! (Dawson looks up at the sound of her voice) What- Uh, Jen's been trying to call you. No one's answering at your house . . .

P: Yeah, I'm on my way over to Jen's right now.

J: Are you, uh, y' know, okay?

P (tries to play it cool): Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?

J: *Pacey*, I know.

P: Oh. (he doesn't know what else to say, and speaks after a couple seconds of silence) So, I have to go . . .

J: Oh, right. [She climbs in the window, and he climbs out.]

P: See ya, Dawson.

D: Yeah, bye. (he pauses and looks at Joey) Joey? You don't look so great.

J: I don't *feel* so great, Dawson.

D: Why? What's going on? Jo?

[She walks over to the bed and sits down next to him]

J (sighing): We really need to talk, Dawson . . . [Theme song starts. Close-up of Dawson, thinking back on his earlier inquiries. He looks nervous and worried]

[OPENING THEME, COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[OPEN: Pacey is sitting at Jen's kitchen table with her. He looks upset]

PACEY: I can't believe this.

JEN: I know, I should have gone to the doctor to begin with.

P (angrily): No, you should have been smart enough to know which test was yours and which was Joey's!

J: Look, Pacey, I'm sorry. No one's more sorry about this than me, okay? But this is *my* problem, and you have *no* right to get angry about it.

P (softly, but so Jen can hear): I beg to differ.

J (standing up): God, Pacey! Why are you making this even harder than it is?! *I'm* the one that has to go to the doctor in Small Town, USA to take a pregnancy test! *I'm* the one who's worked so hard to try to build a better reputation for myself, only to have it possibly shot to hell for some drunken mistake! No one said you had to be a part of this, alright? As far as I'm concerned, I was so drunk, I don't even *know* who the father is. You know, make the story a little juicier. That way, you can walk away without having made the mother of all mistakes, and I can just be known as the slut you guys already think I am anyway.

[Pacey looks at her in complete shock after her outburst, and doesn't speak. There is silence for a few seconds]

J (sarcastically): Glad to see there are no objections. [She walks out of the room, and as she starts up the stairs she calls out to him]

J: Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

[Close-up of Pacey, still in shock. He puts his elbows on the table, and puts his head in his hands, sighing loudly]

[Scene cuts to Dawson and Joey sitting on his bed, Dawson on the right, Joey on the left. They are sitting cross-legged and facing each other]

DAWSON (not wanting to believe it): Are you sure, Jo?

JOEY (snapping): Of course I'm not sure. (pauses) I'm sorry, Dawson, but I'm *not* sure. That's why I'm going to the doctor as soon as humanly possible.

D: Why didn't you tell me sooner?

J: I don't know. I guess I didn't want to worry you without having a justifiable reason.

D (frustrated): Then why are you telling me now?!

J (looking hurt): I don't know.

D (stands up running his hands through his hair): Do you have *any* idea what it's gonna be like if you're pregnant? I'm fifteen years old, Joey. I'm not a father.

J (softly): No one said you had to be.

D (sarcastically): Oh, right, like *I'd* leave you in the middle of an exigency. (to himself, almost bitterly)   I'm Dawson Leery, the *good* angel

. J (who has heard him, stands up): Is that all you care about, Dawson? Maintaining your precious image? Well, forget it. I don't need your good deeds. I can raise this potential child on my own. [She starts for the window]

D: Oh, God, Joey. That's not what I meant. (He jogs over to her) Joey, you know I didn't mean it.

J: You know, Dawson, I'm getting the strangest sense of deja vu. It's seems like, lately, you've been saying a lot of things you don't really mean.

D: Joey, I'm sorry, I-

J: What about us, Dawson? Huh? What happened to growing up *together?* What happened to being here for me, no matter what? (she is near tears and pauses) I guess you didn't mean any of that either. [she starts to get her shoes on]

D (near tears as well): Joey, please don't go. I'm sorry, I truly am. You just have to understand something.

J (stops tying her shoe and looks up): And what's that, Dawson?

D: All this, it's happening so fast. The realization of our feelings, the big step into couple hood, the consummation of out relationship, and now this. (pauses) I wasn't lying when I said I was ready to grow up, Jo, I just hadn't anticipated that it would happen this quickly. (pauses, smiles slightly) I love you, Joey. Nothing will ever change that. But this . . . this is quite disconcerting. You come up here and tell me there's a good chance you might be pregnant, and I'm not allowed to freak out? I made a mistake, and instead of accepting it, I'm doing the typical teenage thing, which is to take my anger at myself out on you. (shakes his head, staring at the ground) Cause that's what I am, Joey. A teenager. (looks at her) So are you. We're puerile adolescents who aren't by *any* means prepared to raise a child. And *I*, well, I'm a little scared right now. (laughs bitterly) I'm more than a *little* scared. I'm terrified. Because if- if this happens, it's yet *another* hard shove into reality. It's just more evidence that the scripts got discarded somewhere along the line, and I no longer have control over my life. And I don't think I can handle that kind of disappointment again. [There is a moment of silence]

J (who has finished putting on her shoes; she speaks bitterly): Yeah, well, I've got news for you, Dawson. These scripts you're talking about? They never existed to begin with.

[With that, she climbs out the window. Close-up to a now speechless Dawson, overcome with emotions]

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[OPEN: Exterior shot of Jen's house. "Don't Be Good" by Chantal Kreviazuk is playing softly. It continues throughout the scene. Camera cuts to Pacey, knocking on Jen's bedroom door. She opens it slowly, her face is flushed, and her eyes are puffy and red.]

JEN (softly): What do you want?

PACEY (takes a deep breath): Jen, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I know I was a jerk a few minutes ago, and maybe I've been a jerk since this happened. The only explanation I can give is that I'm scared out of my mind. (pauses) As much as I pretend to be cool, calm, and collected, I am seriously freaking out here. I'm not ready to be a father. (shakes his head) Not even close. I'm still a child myself.

JEN (softly): I know.

[He leans in and pulls her close to him. He holds her for a few seconds, resting his chin on her head and sighing before she speaks]

J: This isn't gonna work, is it?

P (pulling away so her can look at her): What?

J: *Us.* We aren't gonna work, are we?

P (sighs): Probably not.   (she nods her head sadly) I care about you, Jen. I really do. And if you're . . . if you decide to have it . . . well, whatever you decide to do, I'm behind you one hundred percent. And, if need be, I'll be the best father to that child that I possibly can. (pauses) But you're right. You and I . . . it's just too hard.

J (nodding her head): We can never have that carefree highschool relationship-

P (finishing for her): Even if you're not pregnant. We've just been through too much.

J (smiling a little): Sucks, doesn't it?

[Scene cuts to Joey, walking along the docks by the Icehouse, hands in her pockets. She looks extremely upset. We hear the faint sound of violin music, and it gets louder the further down the docks she walks. When she notices it, her eyes widen, then her face breaks into a curious frown. She begins looking around cautiously. She comes to a large boat where the music is coming from. A man and his wife are sitting on the deck, sipping champaign. A look of disappointment crosses her face as she realizes the music is coming from a CD player. She sighs and turns around, looking right into the face of Anderson Crawford.]

ANDERSON (incredulously): *Deborah?*

[Joey stares at him in complete disbelief] JOEY (blank expression): Anderson. Anderson Crawford. What are you doing here?

A (laughs): I was just about to ask you the same thing! (pauses, waiting for her to answer. she doesn't, and he continues) My parents dragged me back here. More lame antique shopping. (smiles) I never thought I'd see you again. What, uh, what brings you back to Capeside?

J (sighs): I *live* here, Anderson.

A: Why am I not surprised?

J (almost bitterly): Maybe because Boulé isn't even *around* anymore, much less on the East side.

A (smiles): Yeah, that's probably it. (looks at her with mock suspicion, but a half-way smile) I bet your name isn't Deborah Car . . . son, either.

J: Look, Anderson, I'm sorry I lied to you, okay? You caught me at a time when I needed a break from my life.

A: And now?

J (sighs): Now . . . now I need one more than ever.

A: Well, I'm game.

J: What?

A: Well, I know it's a little chilly to go sailing, but the boat we brought this time has a nice, warm downstairs area. It's like a small apartment, really. I don't suppose you'd like to see it?

J: You're kidding me.

A: I am?

J: You're not mad?

A: Nope.

J: What about what you said before? About a girl being honest?

A (shrugging): We all make mistakes, but few of us are brave enough to admit them. (pauses, smiling) Besides, with a face like yours, I'm willing to forgive and forget . . . as long as you tell me your real name.

J (smiling and blushing): Joey Potter.

A: *Joey?*

J: Uh, short for Josephine. But if you call me that, I'll be *so* gone.

A: Alright, Joey. (extends his hand) Pleasure to meet you.

[She smiles and takes his hand, and he leads her to his boat]

[Scene cuts to Dawson, knocking on Jen's door. She opens it.]

JEN (walking outside): Hey, Dawson.

DAWSON: Jen, is Joey here?

J: No, last I saw her, she was headed to your place.

D: Yeah, she left about a half-hour ago. We sort of had a fight, it's a long story, and now I can't find her. I called her house, and she's not there. Bessie said she wasn't working today, either, and I just, I know I screwed up, except this time, I don't know how to fix it.

J: So, I assume she told you about-

D (interrupting): Yeah, she told me. I was a jerk, she got legitimately upset, and she left. And you know what the worst part is? Even if I *could* find her, I wouldn't even know what to say. I'd apologize, but I wouldn't really mean it, because although I'm sorry I said the things I said, I can't take them back. They were the absolute truth. I didn't just *act* like an selfish, insensitive jackass, I *am* one.

J: Dawson, that's not true.

D: Yes it is. Jen, I told her in so many words that, although I was ready and willing to engage in sexual activities, because of my childish inhibitions, I'm nowhere *near* mature enough to accept the consequences. I practically admitted that *if* I stick by her on this one, it won't be out of love for her, but out of fear that if I don't, everyone else will begin to see me as the self-absorbed coward that I really am.

J: Dawson, you're being *way* too-

D (interrupting): And I know how awful this must sound, Jen, but you have to help me. I can't lie to her, but if I continue to tell the brutal truth, I'm going to lose her, which is the last thing in the world I want to do, and again I'm at the end of my rope, here, because all I want to do is hold her and make all of this disappear, and I can't. But I don't know what else to do. [He takes a deep breath, and Jen is silent for a few moments as she comes to understand how deep Dawson's love for Joey goes. She almost smiles to herself when she realizes that she is truly over him.]

J: Do you really want my advice, Dawson? Because Joey is my friend, and I don't want to see her hurt in any way. (he nods his head) It's tough love, Dawson, but you have to accept it, because it's the best advice you're going to get. (she pauses and takes a breath. he looks nervous) Get over yourself, Dawson. Stop over analyzing, and stop overreacting. Joey needs you right now, probably more than she ever will. So, if you *really* love her, like you claim you do, get over yourself. Put her necessities before all of your inane compulsions, take the next flight out of Never Never Land, and grow up, Peter.

[She stares at him for a second before turning and walking back into her house. Cut to a close-up of Dawson, in a daze. He is shocked at Jen's harshness]

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[OPEN: Shot of the docks near the Icehouse. "I Will Remember You" by Amy Grant is playing. The camera focuses on one boat in particular, then cuts to Joey and Anderson, sitting on some stools at a small bar below the deck of his boat. They each have a soft drink in front of them. The music fades, but doesn't end. They are laughing about something, and Anderson speaks after the laughter fades away]

ANDERSON: So, you want to tell me why exactly you needed a break from your life a few months ago?

JOEY: Not really.

A (jokingly): Oh, come on. You lied to me. I think I deserve to at least know why.

J: Alright, if you *must* know . . . it's a long story.

A (smiling): I've got all day.

J (sighs, defeated): I'm not like you, Anderson.

A: What do you mean?

J (the music has stopped): I'm not rich or popular or talented, or any of that. (smiles sheepishly) I'm pretty boring, actually. (he opens his mouth to say something, but she cuts him off) And I know now that none of that matters to you, but I didn't back then. 'Cause it matters here. (pauses) The town charity case, the girl from the wrong side of the creek, however you want to put it, that's how all but a few people see me. I'm nothing to this town, Anderson, but I wanted, if even for a day, to be something to you. [She is looking down at the ground, and he reaches over and tilts her chin up with his hand]

A (softly): Hey. (she looks at him) You *are* something to me. (smiles) Always will be. [She smiles back, and he leans in to kiss her. She stops him just before their lips meet]

J: Uh, Anderson-

A (pulling back a little): Lemme guess. Boyfriend?

J (looking disappointed): Yeah. A (looks disappointed as well, but tries to lighten the mood): You hungry?

J: Uh . . .

A (taking her hand): C'mon, let's get something to eat. [They stand up, and he starts to lead her to other room, when he looks at her hand. He sees Dawson's Christmas present.]

A (motioning to her ring): That a present from him?

J: Yeah . . .

A: He treats you well, I take it?

J: Yeah. (pauses) *Most* of the time.

A: Well, he better shape up a little, or I might have to do something about it. (Joey smiles, blushing) You deserve nothing short of perfection.

[She smiles and blushes again. "Least Complicated" by the Indigo Girls starts playing. They walk into the other room, and shut the door, but the camera doesn't move up with them. It focuses on the door for a few seconds before the scene cuts to Jen, sitting at the docks by her house. The wind is blowing slightly, as the clouds roll by. After a few seconds, the scene cuts to Pacey, walking along the waterfront with his hands in his pockets. He sighs and walks slowly before finally coming to a stop and sitting down, watching the sunset. Soon, the scene cuts to Dawson, jogging down by the pier. Just as he did in the season finale, he screams out Joey's name in frustration. He stops and stands still running his hands through his hair, and turning around slowly a full 360 degrees, until he's back in the position he started in. The music, which has continued throughout this montage of scenes, fades slowly as the scene cuts back to Jen, who is sitting at the kitchen table, holding a phone to her ear.]

JEN: Yeah, uh, listen, do you think I can make an appointment for my friend at the same time? (waits)   A half-hour later? (sighs) Yeah, that's fine. (silence) Joey- uh, Josephine Potter. And that's Monday, right? (more silence) Okay, thank you very much.

[She glances out her window, and we see that it is near dark. She does a double take and sees Joey walking up Dawson's lawn. Jen rushes to the door, and opens it]

JEN: Joey!

[Joey turns in the direction of the voice, and jogs over to Jen's porch. Jen steps outside, crossing her arms to keep herself warm]

JOEY (innocently): What's up?

JEN: Did Dawson find you?

JOEY: No, I- (smiles to herself) I haven't been around.

JEN: Well, you better get over there now, then. He's been looking for you all day. Whatever fight you guys got in, it really affected him. He came over here, spuing out his usual rhetorical regurgitations. It took a lot to make him shut up. But, I think you'll find I put things in perspective for him. JOEY (smiles, nodding): He probably needed it. JEN (smiling, as Joey turns to leave) Oh, Joey! (she turns back around) I made doctor appointments for us.

JOEY: What?

JEN: Yeah, mine is three o' clock Monday, yours is three-thirty. JOEY(a little surprised): Oh. Okay . . . Uh, I guess I'll see ya later.

[She turns and jogs over to Dawson's]

JEN (softly to herself): You're welcome.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[OPEN: Dawson, lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The TV is not on. "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes is playing softly. We hear a noise, but Dawson doesn't move. Joey climbs in the window. He still doesn't look up]

JOEY (taking a seat on the bed): Word is, you're looking for me.

DAWSON (still looking up): Yeah, *was* is the key word. I was close to calling a search party, but then I just decided to give up. So where were you, anyway. (she opens her mouth to answer, but he cuts her off) You know what? Forget it. I don't want to know. (his voice contains a hint of sarcasm) Far be it for me to deny you of some spectacular hiding place. (he sits up and looks at her) My closet lost it's appeal, huh?

J: Something like that.

D: Jo, can I be bluntly honest with you for a moment?

J: Aren't you always?

D (as the music fades away): Honest, yes, but I sort of have this habit of waltzing around extraordinarily colossal words without really saying what I truly mean.

J (smiles): Yeah, I know. (pauses) You also have an annoying fixation on building things up too much. Now you've got me anxious, wondering what this blunt honesty kick is all about.

D: I'm anxious, too, Jo, because I know what I need to do in order *not* to hurt you, but I can't do it. I can't lie to you. (her face fills with confusion) I love you, Joey. You know I do. But, as impertinent as it sounds, I think I may love myself more. I value the abutting perfection that is my life, and in some weird, twisted way, I crave my quick descending innocence, to the point that I don't know if I can give it up. I don't want to hurt you, Joey, and I'll try my hardest to stick by you, but it will be extremely hard for me, because we're not just talking about growing up anymore, we're talking about *being* grown up. That's something I hadn't intended on happening for at least another five or ten years. And I know it would be absurd to talk you into having an abortion, because the decision is entirely yours, but you have to agree that raising a child while attempting to attend high school is an equally, if not more preposterous idea. And I'm not that strong, Joey. I'd try to handle it, but I can't promise I'd be able to stay with you. [Joey takes all this in, her face full of hurt, but quickly changing into anger]

J: I think I would have rather heard the lies, Dawson. [She gets up to leave]

D: Joey, wait! That's it? Don't you have an opinion about this? J (crossing her arms, laughing bitterly): Do *I* have an opinion? What kind of ludicrous question is that?! (throws her arms up in frustration) Of *course* I have an opinion! The question is, Dawson, are you old enough to hear it? (he looks stung by this one, as she calms a bit) *If* I were pregnant, I would never kill my own child. I don't think it's fair to deny the right to anyone else, but *I* would never have an abortion. You *know* that. I've been dead set against it for years. Sneaky, how you asked me to have one without really having to ask. There you go again, trying to plan things out before it's essential. You don't even know if I'm pregnant! (pauses) I'll tell you something, though, Dawson. *If* I were pregnant, I would raise that child with or without you, so don't think the threat of losing you would change my mind. (pauses) You'll notice how I keep using the term '*if* I were . . ."

D (jumping up from the bed, wide smile): You're not?

J: Nope. My little friend visited me this evening. As far as my so-called pregnancy goes, you can chalk it up to a minor stomach flu, paired with a *really* bad case of PMS.

D: Joey, this is so great! I mean, it's awful that we had to go through this-

J (interrupting, playing with the ring on her finger): See, that's where you're wrong, Dawson. In two areas, actually. *We* didn't go through anything. You clearly decided that you weren't going to deal with this. Second, this wasn't such an awful thing to go through, because it helped me realize something. This was sort of my personal little shove into reality. You've been my best friend for over ten years. I had you up on a pedestal so high that the fall would kill you. (they both smile slightly) Break some bones at least. And I've been in love with you for so long that I couldn't ever see you doing wrong. I was blind to all your faults. But you have no idea how much what you said a few minutes ago hurt me. (she holds out the ring he gave her, and he reluctantly takes it, confused) And maybe I'm just using a defense mechanism here by getting angry with you, but I have the right to, because you *promised* you'd always be here for me, but as soon as it looked like you might actually *have* to be, you ran away, because you can't get over your own juvenile hang-ups.

D: Joey, I'm sorry. I can't help it, though, it's just the way I am.

J: I know, Dawson. And maybe, when I first fell in love with you, it was alright. But since then, you haven't changed one bit. Which is okay, except that I realized these last few days that *I* have. And now, I'm just trying to figure out, despite my newly unearthed metamorphosis, if I- (sighs) If I'm still the kind of person who is in love with someone like you.

D (looking very worried and disturbed): So, what? Jo, what are you saying?   You want to end this?

J: I think- I think so, Dawson. But not forever, just for *now.* Today was quite eye-opening for me, and I just- I think we *both* need time to ourselves for some good old-fashioned overanalyzing.

[She walks towards the window]

D(frantically): Jo, wait! (she turns around) You can't- you have to stay. It's, it's Movie Night. You've never missed one before.

J (crooked smile): Sorry, Dawson, as of now, all aspects of our relationship are on hiatus, our friendship included. That even alludes to Movie Night.

["How Do I Live" starts again as Joey climbs out the window. Dawson rushes over to it, and watches her go down the ladder and across the lawn to the docks. She climbs in, and starts to row away. The camera cuts from the small distant figure of her that Dawson can see from his window to a close-up of her in her tiny rowboat. The moon shines down on her, and tears stream down her illuminated face now that she is a safe distance from Dawson's view. She continues to row away furiously into the night, as the scene fades to black. The music follows soon after]

[END CREDITS, COMMERCIAL BREAK]

***********************************************

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