Part Four in the Series

Spoilers: Breaking Away

Rating: PG

Author's Note: Once again, it'd help if you read the first 3 parts. Also, I'd just like to thank Jenn, Ali, Mel, and Ro for helping me with this and for always being the greatest. You guys rock!

Dawson sat on the edge of the dock, his legs swinging slowly back and forth, like the pendulum of a clock. Back and forth, back and forth.

What's wrong with me? Why am I acting like such a jerk to everyone? I totally lost it with Pacey on Monday, yelled at Jen all week, and went crazy when I saw Joey and Pacey together in the hall today. I'm losing it. I even told Jen to bite me! He chuckled slightly at the last one. Well, not in the sense I'd want her to, anyway! He grew serious again.

But why am I doing this? All because Pacey and Joey are friends? What an idiotic reason! Joey's not mine, she can be friends with whoever she wants! his voice of reason told him. He argued back.

And now what can I do about it? I've probably lost Jen as a friend and I wouldn't be surprised if Pacey hates me, too. He shook his head in anger. His voice of reason started up again.

Dawson, just apologize. Suck up your pride and apologize. Now! he ordered himself.

He wrestled with his conscience for some time, then gave in to the voice of reason. He slowly picked himself up. He gave one last glance down the creek towards Joey's trailer, then began slowly shuffling towards Jen's house to apologize.

* * *

"Did you decide what you're going to tell Dawson?" Pacey inquired. He and Joey were sitting at the table in the small but cozy Witter kitchen, sharing a bag of potato chips.

"Don't start," she sighed. She leaned back in her chair.

"It's an innocent question," he pointed out. She shook her head.

"I know. I'm just so confused. On one hand, I've been in love with him for what seems like forever. I can't imagine why I'd throw away the chance to be with him now. But on the other hand, he has been acting so…different lately. You've surely noticed. He's not the same Dawson. He yelled at you today for tickling me! I mean, come on!" she rolled her eyes at Dawson's stupidity. Pacey nodded.

"Yeah, but-" he began, prepared to defend Dawson's actions.

"Not tonight, Pacey, please," she responded, intending to silence him.

"Jo, you can't just put off this question forever! You have to make a decision at some point," he reminded her.

"I know, Pace. But not tonight. I need to think about it some more," she pleaded with him to drop it. He sighed.

"Fine," he grudgingly agreed.

"Thanks, Pacey!" she smiled, glad that the conversation was over.

"Yeah, don't mention it," he stared at the wall, annoyed.

"Let's go for a walk!" she cried unexpectedly. He looked at her in disbelief.

"What?!"

"You and me, Pacey. Let's go for a walk to the ruins," she repeated. She grabbed his elbow, urging him.

"Why, Jo?" he asked, incredibly confused.

"It'll be fun!" she begged. "Come on!" He sighed once again. It seems like all I'm doing tonight is giving in to Joey's demands, he thought cynically. He was prepared to refuse, but stopped when he looked at Joey. She looked so eager that he couldn't.

"Okay," he agreed. He grabbed two cans of soda from the refrigerator and tossed one to Joey. She picked up the potato chips and they headed out the door to the ruins.

* * *

"Jennifer! Visitor!" Grams called up the stairs. Jen put down the magazine that she was leafing through and glanced at the clock. 5:43.

"Hmm, Cliff's early," she thought. She shrugged and grabbed her purse and sweater.

"Cliff!" she cried as she bounded down the stairs. "You're e-"she stopped short when she saw Dawson. "Oh, it's you," she said disdainfully.

"Jen, I came over to-"

"To yell at me some more? Save it, Dawson," she said angrily. She started to stalk up the stairs when Dawson grabbed her arm.

"No, Jen, I came over to apologize," he began.

She snorted. "Really, Dawson? Should I be grateful?" she rolled her eyes.

"Jen, I'm sorry. I acted like a total jerk."

"Yes, you did," she agreed. "You were an idiot, nasty for no reason, complete-"

"Hey, give my ego a break!" he interrupted.

She smiled slightly. "Okay, Dawson. I'll stop."

"I'm sorry I acted like that. I was just confused about this whole Joey thing," he replied. She looked at him quizzically.

"What Joey thing? The skipping school with Pacey?" she inquired. He sighed.

"Long story. Remind me to fill you in later," he said, planning on making a quick exit.

"Cliff's not due for another ten minutes. I've got time," she offered. She motioned to the living room and Dawson followed. They sat on either end of the couch and Jen looked at Dawson expectantly.

"Well, it began when I found Joey in my closet after chasing her all day…"

* * *

"So, how's life with your folks?" Joey inquired, breaking the long silence. They had been staring at the stars for a good hour already and Joey was getting impatient. She wanted to really talk with Pacey again, like they had that day when they cut school.

"Not too good. I'm getting used to it, though," he replied, still staring up at the sky. Another silence ensued.

"Pacey, look at me!" she demanded, aggressively pulling his arm.

"What?" he asked, genuinely surprised at Joey's roughness.

"I want to talk," she said.

"Not tonight, Jo. Let's save it for tomorrow or Friday," he said.

"Why?"

He sighed and looked at her. She felt her body tingle with anticipation as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "If you make a decision tonight, you'll base it too much on the hallway incident," he said. "You should wait. Maybe Dawson was just having a bad day and took it out on me," he told her. He removed his hand from her shoulder.

"Maybe," she said doubtfully. She longed for Pacey to touch her again. He didn't.

"Joey, believe me. You wouldn't be fair to Dawson if you did it this way," he told her.

"Maybe I don't want to be fair to Dawson," she said, almost angrily.

"Why on earth would you want to do that, Joey? You love the guy!" he exclaimed in shock. She couldn't help thinking how handsome he looked with the moonlight surrounding them. She wanted Pacey to hold her, to make her feel better. He had done it before and she was certain that simply being in his arms would ease her pain.

Maybe he won't want to, though. Maybe he only did that because he felt sorry for me, she told herself. She shook her head. Take charge, Joey. If you want Pacey to make you feel better, you have to ask. That's the only way you'll find out if he just did that because you were crying, she scolded herself.

She glanced over at him once again. He was lost in thought, still staring at the stars. Do it now, Joey.

"Pacey," she whispered as she put a hand upon his. He looked at her, shocked, but didn't pull away.

"What?"

"Can you just hold me? Please? I need to feel loved right now," she said softly, looking at the ground. She braced herself for the surely negative answer or, even worse, accompanying laughter. She stared into Pacey's deep hazel eyes.

"Come here," he replied, and wrapped his arms around her. They sat silently there for what seemed like an eternity, enjoying the feeling of being loved.

Let me know what you thought! It's my only paycheck! earthangel52@hotmail.com

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