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Personal message: Hi! It's me, Matahari. I'm sure you all know that by now. Well, part 9 is here finally! Okay...I've finally gotten a little bit of my focus back. I've decided that I'm going to put in little things that if you've seen the second season, you'll realize that they're inside jokes later on. I got the idea for the last part by A Moon for the Misbegotten, a play by Eugene O'Neill, but it definitely won't end like that play did. I'm also going to bring a new student in eventually...Who do you think it is? OK. One thing else...Jen and Pacey go to English together and so do Joey and Dawson in the same period. I know they had the same teacher the second season but I wrote this before it was made. I like it better like this anyway. In this one Joey and Dawson think about what's going on between them and Pacey remembers an incident in a classroom...
Well, I hope you like it and be sure to visit my site. If you are using Microsoft Internet Explorer or aol to view it, you should hear I'll Stand by You by the Pretenders which was played at the end of the Pilot episode. I love that song! The website is at : http://members.aol.com/Matahari91/index.html. Check it out.
Spoilers: Whatever is here is there for a reason.
Rating: You know me! Nothing too bad! :)
Setting: Dawson's house and outside of school.
Thanks so much to all the people who read and write fanfic! I don't expect as many comments as before because school is in session, but if you can just write "I read it and it was good" or something like that, that would be great! Just to know that you're still out there!
For Just Tonight
Dawson couldn't explain how he felt with Joey resting on his chest, nuzzling closer to him, her fingers lightly grasping his shirt. When they had arrived at his house, he had led her to the couch to rest. After reminiscing about old times some more, she had fallen asleep, as Dawson would say...in his arms. He had tried to release himself from her grasp after awhile, but found it practically impossible to do without waking her up...okay, so he didn't try too hard, but at least he tried a little.
In that hour, he had gone over all his feelings, his thoughts, analyzing every move he had made. And Joey...his feelings for her clouded his mind. Her name echoed throughout his brain and his heart beat faster every time he breathed her in. They were friends again. Weren't they?
"Yes. Yes, we are." he thought and sighed. "What do other guys do when they're my age? Aren't they supposed to be interested in sports and girls, playing the field in more ways than one? Look at me... It took so long for my hormones to even realize that Joey existed...I'm in love with her and I'm trying ot be her friend when I know I want to be so much more. I want to be her everything...This is the way she's felt for so long."
Dawson's heart felt this pang of pain when he thought of how all those years she'd been feeling the way he was at that moment. He sighed as he gently rested his chin on the top of her head. "I love you, Joey." he whispered.
Joey opened her eyes wide then closed them quickly again. A single solitary tear trailed down her cheek and fell to the floor.
Pacey and Jen were discussing where they thought Joey and Dawson were and later, when it was after 8th period, Pacey told Jen about something he had seen inside a classroom...
Pacey was angry. Mad. Furious! He had been in his 4th period class and a boy next to him had brought up the subject of Ms. Tamara Jacobs. I'm sure you all know that this was a...touchy subject for Pacey.
Well, this boy had started congratulating Pacey for...you know, to which he responded to by tensely smiling and nodding until this boy proceeded to call Ms. Jacobs the equivalent to a harlot. And you all know also that Pacey, despite that wisecracking exterior, has a soft spot for the ladies. He did the first thing that came into his mind to defend the lady's honor...he punched the guy's lights out. I know it may not have been the smartest thing to do, but let me ask you this...If your boyfriend had done that for you, would you be angry? I think not. Understandably, because of this act, Pacey was sent to the principal's office.
On his way there, Pacey stopped to glance inside the door of Dawson and Joey's English room. "This should be interesting." he thought. Dawson and Joey's teacher was known for his creative learning techniques, but he was certainly surprised when he looked through the window. There stood Joey and Dawson, literally making out on top of the teacher's desk and the teacher and students curiously staring at them. At the same time, he felt a twinge of jealousy, satisfaction for being right, and happiness for his two best friends. Since he still had to get to the principal's office, he started off again thinking about what had just transpired.
As he sat in a padded chair waiting to be called to see the principal, he rationalized that Joey and Dawson couldn't possibly be together, it was more likely a presentation. For one thing, the teacher hadn't seemed bothered in the least. Second, Dawson was way too oblivious, and third...they certainly would have told him if anything had happened right?
"Pacey Witter?" the secretary called, "The principal will see you now." Pacey got up, distracted and stepped through the door into the principal's office.
Joey didn't know why she was doing this to herself. She had heard Dawson whisper, "I love you, Joey" to her and all she could do was try to stop herself from bursting into tears. "Why does being in love have to hurt so much?" she thought.
For so long, all she had thought about was Dawson. All she had dreamed about was him. Now it was even worse. It was bad enough when she thought what she wanted could never be, but now she knew that at a word, he could be hers. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do the one thing that would make it so.
Their friendship, their futures, their lives were all little reasons for her decision. Actually, she did know why she was doing what she was. She couldn't stand being away from him. To not speak to him. It was just unbearable to even think about. Sure, it was painful to deny his request for them to get together. It hurt when he gave her those longing looks, knowing that he loved her and that she could never allow what he wanted to happen. But it hurt more to be apart from him.
"He loves me." she thought. That phrase had finally sunken in. She had never before realized the impact of loving someone. When you love someone, you're open. Vulnerable. She had tried to prevent herself from loving someone ever since her mother had died.
Love is one of the most complicated things in the world. It can make a scared person brave. It is almost unlike anything else in that if it's true, it's forever.
When Joey's mother had died, she had had no one other than Dawson to lean on. She blamed her father in part for the death and Bessie was stressed out over her sudden responsibility. Dawson was her bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He had stood by her, letting her cry on his shoulder offering comfort and support.
Only Dawson could know what she went through that year. However, the one thing that she had tried to prevent had slowly infiltrated into her heart. She discovered herself falling in love with her best friend, Dawson. She was already long gone by the time she had realized what had occured. She had thought to herself that it was perfectly normal. It was the classic nurse/patient syndrome, but as the months went by, she realized that it wasn't just a passing feeling. She would love him for eternity.
"You know, Pacey," said Jen after Pacey had finished speaking. "I was wondering why you punched out that guy during class. Did you get detention?"
"No, you know me... I made up some story saying that the guy had said some terrible invective (a nice way to say a swear word) about our beloved principal and that I just couldn't stand to hear of him spoken in such terms," Pacey answered with a grin.
"Very smooth," Jen responded, smiling a little. "You were probably right about Joey and Dawson though. They were probably demonstrating what they had to do for the midterm. Oh, yeah! I forgot to tell you before!"
"What?" asked Pacey curiously.
"For our midterm, our teachr said we had to put on skits for scenes that he would assign to us. We got paired up. Of course, he didn't have as interesting a demonstration as Dawson and Joey's teacher, but he got the point across," Jen said. Unlike Pacey, a little more than a twinge of jealousy was felt as the image of Dawson and Joey kissing flashed through her mind.
"Really? Who'd I get paired up with? This is going to really suck, I can feel it."
"Well, another thing that you missed...a new student came into the class.You're paired up with her."
"Her?" Pacey asked thoughtfully.
"Hey, Joey." Dawson spoke softly,smiling. "Looks like we fell asleep."
"Yeah." Joey replied, embarrassed. "Dawson..."
"Joey..." he said at the same instant. They laughed. The tension was broken. "How about we practice our lines and start filming tonight?" Dawson asked thinking that the more time he spent with her the better.
"Sure, Dawson." Joey said shrugging and giving a tiny half-smile.
"For just tonight can we forget what's going to happen in the future, what's around us and just be together?" Dawson asked hopefully, taking a chance.
"I don't know, Dawson..."
"Please, Joey?" Dawson asked with a pleading look in his eye.
Joey thought for awhile. She was so tired of thinking about what was going to happen. She was tired of not being able to kiss him and hold him. "For just tonight?" Joey asked cautiously.
"If that's all you want." Dawson replied, getting more hopeful by the second.
Joey hesitated then replied, "Okay. Tonight. Only tonight." But she didn't know if that was really the truth.
Feedback: I love feedback! I wouldn't say I live off it, but it's like chocolate. You know? You don't *need* it, but you know you want it. I really appreciate the effort! So, send ideas, suggestions, comments,questions and whatever else you have to me. P.S. This is not over! Not by a long shot. Thanks!
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