Jen looks at herself in the mirror, disgusted at what she is seeing: A young screwed-up teenager that has slipped back to her old ways again. Ashamed of herself yet at the same time sorry for herself. As she remembers the scene which happened about an hour ago at the docks her stomach turns. Abby dared her to kiss the next guy passing and when Jen turned around it was Dawson who got the surprise kiss. She was drunk without any doubt but capable of telling that Dawson was pissed off at that moment. She’ll never forget this look he gave her. This “I can’t believe you did that” look. He looked at her and Jen saw nothing but disappointment in his eyes. She wanted to die in that moment. Sadly and without any hope of her situation changing soon, she reluctantly starts to cry and as she slips of to sleep. The last thing on her mind was that she was going to fix that mess somehow. Dawson and her belonged together, right?
The next day when Jen gets into school she sees Dawson and begins to walk over to him. She’d decided on her way from home to school to declare her feelings to Dawson. She needed him so desperately and although she knew that he was with Joey and the chances of him dumping Joey over her were zero, she was going to do it. Dawson stands at his locker packing his backpack, oblivious to the pupils that were hastily passing by. Jen takes a deep breath and starts to walk over. As she is getting closer, Dawson still doesn’t pay any attention to his environment when all of a sudden Joey comes up behind him and puts her hands over his eyes and seductively but yet giggly says something into Dawson’s ear. Jen couldn’t hear what she was saying not only because she was speaking in a low voice but also because there was too much noise around. Jen stops short, her selfassuring smile had faded away. Dawson turns around with a happy expression and wraps his arms around Joey. They start to kiss. After Dawson had closed his locker, he and Joey left the hallway, not knowing that Jen was watching. They both hold each other’s hands before they disappear.
Jen is still standing there, teenagers angrily passing her since she was in the middle of the hallway. But Jen can’t move, what she just saw made her realize something: Dawson was in love with *Joey* and Joey was in love with Dawson. This scene she had just seen with her very own eyes made her see things differently. Watching this little intimate moment when taking her hand and kissing her was just too much to bear. Finally she woke from her reverie. What was she about to do just one minute ago? She felt so ridiculous, imagining her begging him for another chance and then that pitiful look from Dawson as he would be trying to tell her that she was not the one. Quickly Jen turned around and bumped into no other than Abby Morgan.
“Sorry”, Jen mumbled not even bothering to look up and see who she had run into.
“Hey, hey slow it down Jen. Ain’t the two love birds cute? So cute I have to puke in fact.”
Jen not being in the mood at all for Abby’s remarks left her standing there. Jen was running already when she felt her tears come running. Abby looks after her.
Jen didn’t care about cutting class. She wasn’t in the position to pay attention as to something educational when her world had just trembled down. It was not like she didn’t know Joey and Dawson were a couple. She just dismissed the fact that he was happy about the situation. In some sort of way she always assumed Joey couldn’t measure up to her. After all, what was she compared to her? Jen was walking down the road when Abby’s voice came from behind.
“There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get heart's desire. The other one is to get it.”
“What?!?” Jen asked confused. Abby was now standing next to her.
“Some line from George Shaw, some Irish dramatic. I know, me remembering something like that seems hardly like me but there’s a lot about me that you don’t know, in fact, there’s hardly anyone that knows me. I’m not even sure I know myself.”
Jen was quite surprised about that statement. “What are you getting at, Abby?”
“Jen I want to be your friend and I know that I can help you with what you’re going through or rather what you’re about to go through.” Abby said knowingly.
“What do you mean, there is nothing to go through. I have no idea what you are talking about.” Jen said, trying to sound convincing.
“Stop denying it, Jen. We both know that you are still into Dawson. Yesterday you even said so yourself. And it is common knowledge that truth speaks from the drunk ones. And don’t tell me you didn’t see who you were going to kiss when I dared you. You could’ve stopped but you didn’t and in a way you hoped after the kiss Dawson would come back. That you kiss your Prince Charming and he would realize by some magic that he was meant for you and not for Joey Potter.” Abby declared.
Jen didn’t know how to respond. Every word spoken was true.
Joey looks at Dawson. “I’d love to come over tonight Dawson. I really would but I can’t. Bessie needs me and I can’t bail out. And with the new guy, Jack, I’ll be having my hands full.”
“Do I have a reason to be jealous?,” Dawson asked.
“Of course you do. I can’t wait to get near that guy and...” Joey teased.
“Don’t you ever think about anybody but me” Dawson interrupted.
Joey watched his reaction and instantly became overwhelmed with a warm feeling deep down in her stomach. Not like herself, she didn’t response but wrapped her arms around his neck and slowly came closer to him. Dawson quite surprised by this is waiting for her to act.
“I would never even consider thinking about anyone but you, Dawson,” Joey said before kissing him lightly on his lips. They were both in the middle of the street but there weren’t any people around that they knew. They couldn’t care less.
“So what did you do?” Jen asked Abby. They were sitting in the grass obviously made up their mind about skipping school.
“I would have given anything to have a friend to tell me to just give it up. But I didn’t and I started to live in an illusion. I saw more than there was.” Abby told Jen.
“You knew that he was engaged and still thought you had a chance??” Jen wanted to know.
“Wherever feelings are involved it is not that clear, you know. Of course you should listen to your mind. I knew that he was about to get married sooner or later but I somehow wouldn’t let that thought cross my mind. Of course I was devastated when I found out but then again he was still interested in me. We kept seeing each other and we never would talk about his girlfriend.” Abby stated.
“So how did you get out of this mess?” Jen asked.
“He eventually broke up with me. Exactly four days before his wedding.”
“You’re kidding!” Jen couldn’t believe.
“No, I’m not. This son of a bitch called to tell me it was over. And he
had some other news too. His fianceé was pregnant alright. He said and
I quote
“What then?” Jen inquired.
“I gave his fianceé a short visit telling her to have a happy life. I
told
her all about us. You should have seen the look on her face.” Abby
smiled
wickedly.
“So what’s the moral of the story?” Jen wanted to know.
“Don’t go after someone who is either still hung up on his ex or even
worse in a relationship with someone else.” Abby ended her story.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jen said really meaning it.
Joey closed the door behind herself. Finally home. She was so exhausted
that she barely could keep her eyes open. “What a day,” Joey thought.
After
undressing herself as she lays down and keeps rerunning the events of
the day.
Dawson! School was not that worse knowing that she could be near him
in
between classes. And when they said goodbye he had said “At 11 o’clock
I want
you to think of me. I’ll do the same. As we can’t be together tonight
we
kind of will be connected in a spiritual way.” She loved his romantic
side. It
was 5 to eleven. Joey hoped that he wouldn’t forget. She was so tired
but
not about to let her fall asleep and miss that moment. A lot of people
were at
the Ice House today. And Jack was learning fast. He would be a big help
that was for sure. He had these warm eyes and he knew about art. What
was it
that he said? She tried to remember. “The only way to get through life
is to
find it nice.” Joey contemplated at how she was looking, not quite
believing
her ears. Jack was so ... she didn’t know what just that he made her
laugh.
She didn’t think they would have had so much fun together. Mind you, it
was
a long time since she was with some other male than Dawson or Pacey,
but
that was another story...
Jack was so not Dawson. As Joey takes another look at the watch it is
five
past eleven. Shit. She missed the moment.
Jen is also awake and not surprisingly thinking about what Abby had
told
her this afternoon. Of course she knew Abby was right. There was no
chance
what so ever of Dawson getting back. Still she couldn’t accept that fact.
She
didn’t want to. Because she didn’t want to let go of Dawson. She still
could
hear Pacey’s voice that said to her at the Beauty Pageant “ Tell me is
it the
possibility of losing him to someone else that suddenly makes him seem
so
attractive?” And he was so right. Of course she wouldn’t admit it to
Pacey
but after he said this to her she realized that she was already losing
Dawson
to Joey.
Jen thinks back and can’t believe *she* dumped Dawson. Had she gone
crazy?
From the radio the following song plays to which she slowly falls
asleep.
Jack sees Joey at school and decides to go over to her. “Hey you,”.
Joey
turns around surprised. “Hi! So are you finding your way around
school?”
“Yes, actually I wanted to ask you if we could sit together at lunch.
Of
course with you and Dawson. Would that be alright? It’s just I don’t
know
anybody and...” Jack shyly said.
“Absolutely. That’s a good opportunity to finally meet Dawson. So see
you
then.”
Joey is in the bathroom and lets the cold water run across her face.
What
was that all about? He was just asking her to sit together. No big
deal.
Then why had she been so nervous five minutes ago? There was something
about
Jack she couldn’t quite name. Stop that! Joey demanded. She definitely
needed
more sleep! And with that – trying to push any thoughts associated with
Jack
McPhee away – Joey left the bathroom. She sees Dawson coming her way
and
smiles when he sees her. “Hey sweetie,” he says before they kiss. “I’ve
been
missing you all night,” he adds. “Me too, Dawson. I am so sorry that
we
couldn’t walk to school together. I had to finish homework this
morning. It was
kind of important” Joey answered. Why was she feeling like a liar? The
homework was important – that was true but it was not due until in
three days.
She wanted to get to school clearing her mind about Jack. It was
unbelievable. They spent one evening together, not one date evening
like but as in
work evening and still Jack managed to cross her mind ever so
often.
Come on Joey, there is nothing wrong with walking to school alone.
Yeah, but
thinking about some other guy than your boyfriend is. Joey thought
sarcastically. “Joey?” Dawson’s voice echoed in her ear. “Yeah?” Joey
looked him into
his eyes. “Joey, where were you?” Dawson inquired.
“Nowhere. Right here with you. That’s where I belong.” Joey wanted it
to
sound happily but it came out wrong. “Truth has been spoken,” Joey
sadly
thought. Dawson is sort of confused by that statement but Joey is saved
by the
bell. They both say goodbye to each other and walk into opposite
directions.
“I know you are right. I don’t need your story to figure that out,
Abby.
It is just as you said. I KNOW it’s never going to work out but still I
HOPE
it would. What should I do” Jen whined.
“Woa, woa Jen! What a pleasure. Good morning to you, too.” Abby
smiled.
“Good morning. What should I do?” Jen repeated, still desperate to get
an
answer that satisfied her or helped or something.
“I see you have given this some thought. Let’s lunch together and I’ll
tell you what I think you should do, ok?” Abby said.
“Ok. Thanks. Later.” Jen said.
“I am so hungry.” Joey said to Dawson while waiting in line for their
lunch. “Did you do it yesterday?” Dawson asked.
“Do what?” Joey had no idea what he was talking about.
“You know at eleven o’clock. I looked out the window and was wishing
you a
good night. Did you forget?” Dawson is startled by her expression.
“Of course not. I was so tired but I kept myself awake until after
eleven.
You’re such a romantic, you know that?” Joey was ashamed of herself.
It
seems that whenever they were talking she was lying and she got better
and
better at it. Trying to change the topic Joey says: “By the way you
remember
Jack the new guy who helps me in the Ice House?” Dawson nods. “He
asked if he
could eat with us today and I said yes. That alright with you?”
“So now I have to share you with another guy? I think not. Kidding. Of
course I want to get to know him.” Dawson answered. “So would I,” Joey
added in
her thoughts. After realizing what she had just thought and at the same
time relieved she didn’t say it out loud, she mentally slaps herself.
What was
going on with her? As she sees Jack coming over she wonders how the
three of
them would survive this dinner. No scratch that. How *she* would
survive
that...
“So how do you like it in Capeside so far?” Dawson starts the small
talk
pointing his question to Jack.
“I think it is really nice. My sister and I think that...” Jack
answers.
Joey can’t pay attention to any of what Jack is saying. She stares at
him,
trying not to reveal what she is feeling by just looking at him. She is
being
distracted when Dawson takes Joey’s hand while Jack continues talking.
Feeling caught as a liar, she quickly gets up and says “Sorry you guys
I don’t
feel well. I’ll see you later.” But she doesn’t get away with that.
Dawson
runs after her before saying to Jack, “I’ll be right back.” Jack
understands
but doesn’t know what this is all about. “Joey, wait.”
“What Dawson?”
“Are... are you alright?”
“No, that’s why I said I don’t feel well.”
“Sure... so are we going to see each other tonight?”
“I’ll be at your place at 8 o’clock, is that ok?”
Dawson’s worried face changes into a happy one. “Can’t wait. Bye.”
After
giving her a kiss she finally leaves.
Joey hated herself. What was she doing? Not only lying but she even had
forgotten to kiss him goodbye. No wonder he got up after her. Stupid
Joey.
She wasn’t feeling well? A headache would’ve sounded better, she
thought
while walking towards her locker. She definitely needed to stay away
from
Jack. That wasn’t an easy task seeing as Jack was working in the same
restaurant...
“Is she alright?” Jack asked concerned. “I hope it wasn’t because of
me.”
he said before Dawson could answer his question. “Yeah, don’t worry it
has
nothing to do with you. Tell me how was your first day working? Joey
told me
so much as nothing about it.”
Jack raises an eyebrow at that...
“Abby, I cannot wait any longer. You have got to help me or else I
think
I’m going insane.” Jen was freaked out. The whole day had been nothing
but
nervewracking. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. She needed
something
like a plan. To get him back. To be together with Dawson Leary again.
That’s
what she needed.
Abby laughed. She liked it that Jen wanted her advice. In return maybe
Jen
could give her some sex tips she had gained in New York, Abby
thought.
“Alright. The way I see it you have two options. The first one is as I
said to forget about him. The second one is to try and win him back.
That
includes stealing him away from Joey and it means playing a game.”
“I’m game. I’ll do whatever you want.” Jen said determined.
“Wait a second. You didn’t let me finish. What you have to consider is
a
lot more than that. The trouble with playing games someone has to lose.
Trust
me I know what I’m talking about. Personally I’d choose option 1
remembering the pain I went through with you know that guy who was
cheating on his
fianceè.”
“Dawson is nothing like that. He was never cheating and he never will.
Besides what did his fianceè do when you told her about the two of
you?” Jen
wondered.
“I wanted to know myself so I went to see if there was a wedding.”
“Yeah? Was there?”
“Believe it or not she did marry that creep while knowing he was
cheating
on her before.”
“Really?”
“That’s how you’ll end, too. Doing everything for the guy of your
dreams.”
“That is not true.” Jen said.
“The problem here is Dawson is one of the good guys. He IS the guy of
your
dreams. But we live in a world called reality where the situation is as
follows: Dawson and Joey are in love and Joey is attracted to Jack some
guy who
just moved to Capeside with his mother and sister."
“You’re kidding, right? Joey is *attracted* to someone other than
Dawson??
How do you know all this anyway?” Jen demanded.
“It happens I’m the queen of dirt and I’m telling you now that Joey is
in
that position there’s your chance floating of grabbing Dawson. Of
course to
come back to the options, I’d go for no 1. Forget him...”
“No way, I choose option no 2 and you are going to help me.” Jen said
excited, she couldn’t believe her luck.
“Am I?”
“I’ll tell you some stories from New York if you help me out here. So
what
do you say? Do we have a deal?”
“Deal” Abby agreed.
Joey is at home listening to the radio when a familiar song comes up.
Thinking about the lyrics she feels herself directing the questions not
to
Dawson but to Jack...
The Corrs What Can I Do?
Is Joey going to show up at 8 at Dawson’s house? What will she decide
on
doing about the Jack/Dawson situation? Will Dawson get suspicious? What
is
Jen going to do about Dawson? Does she have a chance? Can Dawson
resist Jen?
And what about Jack? Is he interested in Joey at all???
If you want me to continue this story please email me and tell me what
you thought of it! Thanks.
You know the difference it makes
What did you hear me say?
Yes, I said, "It's fine" before
But I don't think so no more
I said, "It's fine" before
I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
'Cos I've been changing my mind
Erase and rewind
'Cos I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind
So, where did oyu see me go?
It's not the right way, you know
Where did you see me go?
No, it's not that I don't know
I just don't want it to grow
It's not that I don't know
I've changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind, mmm mmm
Erase and rewind, mmm mmm
I've changed my mind.
Erase,Rewind
The Cardigans
The last line keeps ringing in her head...
It’s been so long since we’ve talked
And I have been here many times
I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong
What can I do make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?
There’s only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don’t try and I don’t hope
What can I do make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?
No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, nor more trying
Maybe there’s nothing more to say
And in a funny way I’m calm
Because the power is not mine
I’m just gonna let it fly
Chorus
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