Help by: Amanda

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Disclaimer: For the love of Kevin Willaimson...uh, I mean, God, do you really think I own Dawson's Creek?! Or Brandy's song?! Jeez, and I thought you were smart enough to know that I didn't own 'em. I was so wrong.

Author's Note: This story is again told from Dawson's point of view and is set 1 year after the previous installment of this series, ("Heartbreak Hotel.")

Also, flashbacks, and something to show that a word is being enunciated are in **, so you'll have to figure that one out on your own.


Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

When I checked my mailbox that fateful day, I expected to find the usual...bills, junk, magazines...and with all of that I found along with one thing that would change my life forever. I closed my eyes, letting the tears roll freely down my cheek. Why do I love her so much? I thought bitterly to myself.

Mr. and Mrs. John Witter and Mr. and Mrs. Ryan McPhee
cordially invite you to the wedding of their children
Pacey James and Andie Nicole

"I have to go...Pacey and Andie are my best friends...but both of them know it wouldn't be right not to invite Joey..."

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

That night, I went to sleep feeling something I hadn't felt in a long time. The need of Joey beside me.

It had been a year since the reunion when I left her standing there, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall out of love. And I still don't understand why she hurt me.

"Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?" I asked Pacey over the phone the next day. He always called me on Sundays.

Have you ever tried the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

But the question I needed to ask him hadn't been inquired yet.

"Dawson, get over her!" he exclaimed.

"But Pacey...from what I know, you've never been in love so bad you'd do anything to make them understand."

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand

Pacey, desperate for a change a subject, brought up the one thing I had dreaded all morning.

"Did you get my invitation?"

"You, of course, invited Joey, correct?" was my instant response.

"I couldn't *not* invite her, Dawson. She was my friend to some degree all those years ago."

"I knew that was coming. Just *please* all costs, help me avoid seeing her! Because she stole my heart and I'd give anything to make her feel the same...even though I know she never will."

Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same

"Dawson, I know you got hurt by her, and I know you got hurt *really* badly, but you need to move on. You need to pick your life up and move on." I closed my eyes, losing the trust Pacey once held in my eyes. What was I going to do, now that I couldn't trust anyone?

"And the only thing I ever wondered was why? Why would you hurt the one who loved you?"

"I..." she trailed off, obviously not having a reason for the most destructive act of the twentieth century.

"I thought so," I cut her off. "I'll see you, Joey."

I got into my car and drove off. Away from Capeside. Away from Joey. Away from my past.

"But Pacey, you'll never know how this feels. How I've felt for the past 14 years. I mean, have you ever searched for words to get you into someone's heart...but you don't know what to say?"

Have you ever searched for words to get you into their heart
But you don't know what to say

"And you don't know where to start?" I asked him.

And you don't know where to start

"Look, I'm sorry I can't sympathize with you, and I'm sorry Miss Josephine broke your heart. But she's married. She has a child. You know what it's like when a parent has an affair."

Him saying that brought back the pain of my mother's affair and how it ruined my parent's marriage...and how I lost Joey when I needed her the most. Tears began to well up in my eyes, and, me being alone, I let them flow.

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

I silently sobbed, but I knew I couldn't leave Pacey dangling. "I...have to go, Pace. I'll see you at the wedding, okay?"

"Kay, Dawson. And in the meantime, get *over* Josephine Johns."

"Goodbye, Pacey." I put the phone back in the receiver and continued to sob.

My sleep that night, (or lack thereof,) was filled with worry and confusion. I shook my head, ashamed at myself for holding on to something so long that everyone knew I needed to let go of. But it was the only thing in my life I was able to hold could I just throw that away?

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

It was all too much to handle. I had, little by little, just begun to get over Joey, when *this* had to happen. But it told me one important thing: I would never get over her. If only she could realize that.

"Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?!" I yelled at a picture of Joey and myself from when we were 15.

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

5 weeks later...

I was there. I couldn't turn back, now that I was in Capeside for Pacey and Andie's wedding. I could only sigh, telling myself it would all be over in a few days. It, after all, would be. But what would those few days bring me?

"Dawson!" I heard a voice demand my immediate attention.

I turned around and came to face Pacey. "Hey, Pace, where's And?"

"She couldn't come, but someone else could..." he trailed off.

"Who?" I asked him.

Pacey turned and motioned for someone to come. I thought of all the possibilities...but the one who came forth wasn't among them.

"Hi, Dawson," Joey greeted me timidly.

If looks could kill, the one I shot Pacey with would have murdered him brutally. So many things went through my head at that moment, but there was one that stood out.

Pacey, how could you do this to me? You don't know what I go through, knowing she doesn't love me, knowing she's happy with someone else. Knowing the one you've dreamed of all your life doesn't feel the same way. Knowing she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, knowing she wouldn't give everything to look into my eyes as I do her, I thought, closing my eyes slowly.

Have you ever found the one
you've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes

I swallowed, not wanting to give a sign I was nervous, but this was too much to balance on my weak shoulders. Those shoulders had been through so much, and had always coped with the weight that had been put on them before, but not now. They were too tediously worked to continue.

"Joey," I acknowledged.

"Um, bags, Dawson," Pacey reminded me.

"Oh, yes, bags-of course," I stammered.

We got my bags, and Pacey the champion driver was taking us home. Heaven help us all.

"So, Dawson, Joey, what do say to a game of Truth or Dare?" Pacey inquired smugly.

"Okay..." I hesitated, not knowing what would happen.

"Sure, Pace," Joey replied.

"Okay, I'll go first," Pacey declared. "Dawson, truth or dare?"

"Truth," I told him uncertainly.

"Alright...have you ever found the one you gave your heart to, only to find that they won't give their heart to you?"

Have you ever finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you

I inhaled sharply. How could I answer that without Joey knowing?

"Actually, I have," I responded, hoping Joey wouldn't figure it out.

"Alrighty," Pacey smiled devilishly. "Your turn."

"Joey," I inhaled, turning to face her. "Truth or dare?"

"Uh, truth," she returned, with a look in her eyes pleading not to ask an embarassing question.

"Okay...have you ever closed you eyes and dreamed that the one person was there?" I asked her, dead serious. Because I know I have.

Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there

"Yes," she answered, thankful that the qusetion wasn't too embarassing.

"Well, Joey, all you can do is wait for the day that they will care. Or did you wait too long?" I retorted.

All you can do is wait for that day when they will care

"Because they come around to it but then they get their heart broken," I added with a sad tone.

The game continued, but I didn't pay much attention. All of that was directed on Joey. What did I have to do to get her into my arms? To get myself into her heart?

What do I gotta do to get you into my arms
What do I gotta do to get into your heart

Because I would do anything.

"Shit!" I heard Pacey cry. "It's so cold outside, the damn car broke down!"

"Pace, my house is kinda close to here," Joey offered.

"Okay, but Dawson beware-it's cold," Pacey warned me. And as soon as I stepped outside, I almost screamed, but refrained from the action.

"Oh Christ, it's cold," I muttered. As I continued to walk, I got colder and colder and more in need of someone next to me. That someone would obviously be Joey. But she didn't, she didn't understand at all.

To make you understand how I need you next to me

At the moment I fainted, a startling realization came to me. I needed Joey in my world. I was nothing without her. That realization was like being hit in the gut.

Gotta get you into my world

"Dawson! Please, please wake up!" I heard Pacey beg softly.

While in my sleep, I had bad dreams. That Joey hated me, that she and Josh were forever. If I had been counsious, I wouldn't have been able to sleep.

'Coz baby I can't sleep

Well, duh, it's going to be continued, so look for the next part in "In The Heat of The Night: Part 4 of my action-packed-critically-acclaimed-drama." (Hey, it won an award!)

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