Hate... by: Crystal

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Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Girl" by The Beatles. It belongs to Columbia or whoever.

Distribution: Put it wherever. Just send me an e-mail.

Note: Sorry to have taken so long to finish this story! But school started and I've been so busy. Also please take note that I was really upset when I wrote this! So...well... Thank you everyone for all the feedback! This story takes place in the second season and is based on rumors I've heard. You'll have to read my earlier fanfictions in the series to understand.

Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes
You sorry,
Still you don't regret a single day.
Ah girl! Girl! Girl!

When I think of all the times
I've tried so hard to leave her
She will turn to me and start to cry;
She promises the earth to me and I believe her
After all this time I don't know why.
Ah girl! Girl! Girl!

She's the kind of girl who puts you down
When friends are there,
You feel a fool.
When you say she's looking good, she acts as if
It's understood
She's cool, ooh, ooh, ooh
Girl! Girl! Girl!

Was she told when she was young that fame would
Lead to pleasure?
Did she understand it when they said
That a man must break his back to earn his day of leisure?
Will she believe it when he's dead?
Ah girl! Girl! Girl!

"Girl"- (Lennon & McCartney) The Beatles


Pacey walked into Dawson's hospital room and was shocked at the amount of plastic tubes that encased Dawson.

"Hey, man," he said solemnly, so un-Paceylike.

"Hey," Dawson said, then began to laugh manically. Pacey stared in horror. "It's so ironic that me, with my perfect life," he ground out the words, "as Joey [a wince of pain] so nicely puts it, would be in this position."

"Dawson, calm down," Pacey said, looking warily at him as if he expected Dawson to go mad.

"Sorry," Dawson said, "they said I'll have to see a psychologist or something. Well, how're you doing, Pace?"

Pacey could see that Dawson didn't want to discuss certain things, but he couldn't help himself. "I'm all right. Lost a little sleep though. Spent the whole night holding a distraught Joey," his voice rose, "why didn't you let Joey see you Dawson. Huh? Why!"

A black curtain seemed to fall over Dawson's face. "I don't want to discuss that," he said, then changed the subject. "So, did I get in trouble for being a no show at work?"

Dawson was hurting. His attempt at suicide was in part connected to everybody, but Joey was the central character. Pacey felt the first flickers of anger, but the anger was aimed at Joey not Dawson. Dawson looked so bitter. What had she done to create this stranger before him? Joey had in a way destroyed Dawson. But still, he needed to talk to Dawson about Joey. Pacey had promised Joey.

"I need to know one thing. Dawson, do you love Joey?" he asked looking his friend in the eye.

Dawson looked away, "Damn, out of time. I need some sleep man."

"Dawson!" Pacey demanded.

"Okay, I know you won't go and I don't want to have you bodily taken away." He paused; the only sound in the room was the clock ticking as the minutes passed. "Yes...I do...love Joey. I never stopped loving her but it hurts too much." The rope burn stood out on his neck like a brand. "But in a way I do...hate her. She hurt me, shattered me. I'll have to dicuss it with my psychologist. Goodbye, Pacey."

Pacey, in a way satisfied, said, "Bye, Dawson. Get better, man." He walked out, knowing that it would take a long time for his friend to heal.


When Pacey got back to the waiting room, Joey was gone. Mrs. Leery now sat alone.

"Mrs. Leery. Where's Joey?" Pacey asked.

"Oh! Joey went to class; I told her that it wouldn't be much use for her to stay her. Pacey, you need to go, too."

Well, okay, if you say so. Are you sure you're gonna be all right?"

"Pacey, I'll be fine. Go!"

Pacey left, glancing worriedly behind him at Mrs. Leery.


Jack waited at his locker for Joey. Where the hell is she, he thought. Jack hadn't seen her all morning. Suddenly, a thought came to him. What if Joey and Dawson had gotten back together? Yeah. She was probably at his house this minute. Suddenly Joey burst in through the school doors. She looked a mess. Her hair looked horrible and her clothes looked like she slept in them. And she was pissed. Bessie had chewed her out on the phone until Joey had told what happened, then slammed the phone down.

"Hey, Jo. You look awful!!" Jack said as he leaned over to kiss her.

Joey twisted out of his arms, "Jack, we need to talk."

His face contorted, "It's Dawson isn't it? You went back to him."

"Jack, shut the hell up. Get over yourself. No, I did not go back to Dawson. Dawson...Dawson he...he tried to commit suicide last night. I...I found him." Her voice wavered.

"Oh my god, Jo. I'm so sorry! I didn't know," Jack said pleadingly, looking at her face.

"The only reason I came here was to say that I can't be with you right now. I don't want to be with you," she said without expression.

"Joey, no! I said I was sorry," Jack said distraught.

"Jack. Goodbye," Joey said. She turned around and walked out the school doors.


A week passed. A week in which Dawson Dawson refused to see Joey, and finally let his parents see him. Mr. Leery had come back from his weekend with Tamara and had rushed to the hospital after learning what had happened. Pacey was with Andie. But Joey was alone.

She refused to let Jack see her. Tearing up the card and flowers he sent and throwing them away. Dawson was moved back to his room but he still would not face Joey or the thought of going back to school where people would stare at him. Whispering and laughing behind his back.


Joey finally got fed up that Dawson didn't let her see him. And she went over to his house, determined. The ladder was gone. She went through the door and marched up the stairs into Dawson's room. His parent's were at work.

Joey opened the door. Dawson was lying in bed, his back to the door, asleep. His room was empty around him, all the furniture had been replaced and the TV and VCR. But nothing else could have, not in the same way.

Dawson woke up, hearing something, "Mom?" He sat up and saw Joey. She looked terrible, black circles under her eyes and her face weary. Dawson felt guilty and saddened. He was the cause of her pain. Then the wall he had built so carefully during the week, built of hate and bitterness, came up. "J...Hello, Josephine," he said noncommittally, drawling out her name bitingly.

"Hello, Dawson," she said, "I wanted to see you."

"If you remember, Josephine, I specifically asked that you not see me," he said coldly.

"Dawson...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen," she looked at him, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. She saw nothing in his eyes. Nothing. Except for the few moments after waking when she saw a glimpse of great sadness and...love?

"Well it did, didn't it?" he said jovially, "You weren't sorry before and if this hadn't happened you still wouldn't be sorry." His voice rose, "Has Jack comforted you sufficiently? Seeing that I seemed to have caused you pain I would assume that he would try his best."

Joey was shaken at the hate tinged word. "Dawson, I...I dumped him."

"Ah, now I see a pattern. You dump every guy who falls in love with you and stomp on his heart." He smiled, cold as ice. "Josephine, get out. I don't want to see you. I don't give a damn if you dumped Jack. Do you think I care?" But he did care. Dawson did not want to expose his heart again. He had been hurt too many times and now masked his feelings with hate. But his heart broke when he saw the stricken expression on Joey's face.

"Dawson, I..."

"Joey, I...I'm sorry. I just can't deal with it right now. Please go." For a second the cold expression on his face fell and Joey glimpsed the real Dawson. The one that she had spent so many Movie Nights with, the one she loved.

Then realization came to her. Dawson didn't hate her. He didn't want to get hurt again and had retreated behind a wall of hate and anger that would protect him from the outside world.

"Bye, Dawson...I love you."

Dawson did not respond, instead turning his back to her, but as Joey left she heard him murmur, "Bye, Jo."

To be continued...

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