Again by: Juliana

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Disclaimer: Don't own Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jen, Jack, or Andi. But I do own Juliana, (have for quite some time now,) Jaqueline, and Dee. "Again" belongs to Janet Jackson.

Again

I heard from a friend today
she said you were in town

Dawson sighed angrily as he yelled, "CUT!!!!!" for the day. He was one of the most successful filmmakers of his time. After all, he was only 25. But he couldn't put Capeside behind him.

Dawson got home at 12:00 A.M. and got his mail. As he walked up to his apartment, he sorted through it. "Junk, bills, bills, letter from Mom, junk...." he opened his apartment door, "Fancy looking letter from Pacey........" He paused. "FANCY LOOKING LETTER FROM PACEY???!!!" He opened it fast, but ever so carefully, as to not rip the letter. What he saw tore his heart out.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Witter and Mr. and Mrs. Christopher McPhee
Cordially invite you to the wedding of their children
Pacey James and Andrea Lauren

"I know they invited Joey," Dawson realized immediately, barely audible. "And Jack..."

suddenly memories came back
to me in my mind

2000, Graduation:
"Joey, how is our relationship going to work?! You're going to Dartmouth and I'm going to Stanford!" "Are you saying we should break up, Dawson?" "N-" "Well, you got your wish!!!!!!" Joey stormed off, leaving Dawson's heart broken by her for the third time.

how can I be strong I’ve asked
myself

Joey wiped her eyes as she reviewed one of Dawson's movies. "Joey, come on, you're a film critic, and engaged to Jack. Forget Dawson." She loved Jack, but was she in love with him?

She heard the clock strike 3, and knew she should go and get the mail. There was only one letter, and when she got back to her apartment and opened it, she froze.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Witter and Mr. and Mrs. Christopher McPhee
Cordially invite you to the wedding of their children
Pacey James and Andrea Lauren

"Oh God," Joey gasped. "I know Pacey would have invited Dawson......"

time and time I’ve said

She ran her hands through her hair, not wanting to face the reality of what was happening. She couldn't fall in love with him all over again.

that I’ll never fall in love with you
again

Dawson dialed Pacey's number faster than lightening. He knew it by heart.

"Hello????" he heard Andi's voice.

"Hey, And."

"Dawson!!!!! Ooh, Pacey'll be so glad to hear from you!!!! Hold on." He heard her call Pacey to the phone and was greeted by his voice.

"Dawson, man, what's up????"

"You invited Joey, right????????"

A lump formed in Pacey's throat, knowing what Dawson was about to hear would tear him apart. "Of course, man...and I know you're gonna hate me for this, but she's engaged to Jack...." Pacey ended in a whisper.

Dawson was in shock. "Well, good for her," he said dryly.

"Dawson, I know you're hurting. But look, you're at the same table as us, them, Juliana, Jaqueline, and Dee if you come."

"I'm coming, Pacey. I have to face her sometime," he countered bravely.

"Kay, Dawson.......keep in mind you're the best man." He hung up.

Dawson leaned against the wall. She gave me a wounded heart, and took away my soul.

a wounded heart you gave
my soul you took away

Joey dialed Pacey's number faster than she ever had before. ""Pacey, pick up, dammit!!!!" she said impatiently as the phone kept on ringing.

"Hello, you've reached Pacey and Andi at 762-3092. We are currently unable to reach the phone, so if you would leave a message after the beep, we'll get back to you ASAP." Joey started to talk as she heard a beep.

"Pacey, Andi, it's-"

"Hey, Joey" she heard Pacey answer the phone.

"Pacey, you invited Dawson, right????"

"Not you, too," Pacey said rolling his eyes. When will they figure out they were meant to be? he thought to himself.

"What do mean????"

"I got off with Dawson a few minutes ago and he was like, 'You invited Joey, right???' God, what ever happened to 'Hello, Pacey dear friend of mine'???"

"Well, if he asked, tell him I'm coming. Goodbye Pacey," she ended in a whisper.

"I had good intentions, Dawson, really! Really, I did."

Good intentions you had many
i know you did

Dawson got on his plane to New York, where he would get over Joey and go on with his life. That's what his brain told him, but his heart knew he simply couldn't do it.

God knows how I've cried over her.

I’ve come from a place that hurts
god knows how I've cried

Joey got on her plane to New York with Jack for Pacey's wedding. She was determined to once and for all get over Dawson.

and I never want to return
never fall again

I never want to return to her heart, never fall again.

Dawson got off his plane to find Pacey and Andi waiting for him.

"Dawson!!!! My man!!!!" Pacey ran up to him and gave him a hug. Andi also gave him a hug with a comment she knew he wouldn't like.

"Oh, and Pacey forgot to tell you-we're picking up Juliana, Jaqueline, Dee, Joey, and Jack, too."

The words Joey and Jack hung in his mind, until the realization hit him like a ton of bricks: there was no way in this world that he would get over the too tall girl from the wrong side of the creek. At least not in this lifetime. "Come on, hurry, Joey and Jack's plane lands in 20 minutes," Pacey persisted.

The three walked along as Dawson analyzed all the ways to handle his current crisis. And this wasn't a "Mr. Leery-we-have-to-edit-your-current-project- immediately" crisis. This was a real deal, heavy duty, reality-in-your-face crisis.

They made it to the terminal, where Dawson, determined not to noticed, took out his laptop and worked on his latest script, a remake of "Les Miserables". He got to the part where Epinone sings "On My Own", which of course turned up the memory of the beauty pageant.

"Flight 304 from Boston, Massachusetts, has now landed and is currently unboarding," a voice from the loudspeaker said.

Dawson braced himself for a situation he knew was inevitable: the situation where he would see Joey again. And not in his memory, and not in a picture. In real life, face to face with her.

"Joey!!!! Jack!!!!" he heard Andi squeal. He looked up to see Joey.

The person who had broken his heart 3 times.

The person who crushed him emotionally over and over again.

The person who he would love no matter what.

making love to you felt so good
and oh so right

Joey looked over Pacey's shoulder to see a man. A blond man. A familiar blond man. She knew who it was. She knew it was Dawson.

"Okay, time to walk to the next terminal to pick up Jul, Jaq, and Dee," Pacey countered, a countering that received groans.

"Come on, guys. Pacey turned to Dawson. "That means you too, Dawson."

Dawson rolled his eyes, saved the changes to the script, closed his computer, and put it in his briefcase. All in all, he was a very organized person. But he was never very strong.

How can I be strong I’ve asked
myself

Dawson was as nervous as hell being so close to Joey. Ugh, I should have kept that promise about getting out of Capeside the second after I graduate. But instead, I had my heart broken again, he thought to himself.

Joey looked at Dawson to see a look she had never seen before. She couldn't decipher it and it confused her. How could she not read the thoughts of someone she used to know so well? Because he's closing himself off to you. You hurt him, Jo, and you hurt him a lot, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with you, she thought to herself.

I always told myself I couldn't fall in love with her again...but I don't know if I can stay true to that.

time and time again I’ve said
that I’ll never fall in love with you
again

At the Delta terminal, they stood around waiting for the plan to land, except for Dawson. He was sitting in one of those uncomfortable airport seats, adding to his script.

"Dawson, you were so much more fun before you became a filmmaker. You're anti-social now," he heard a familiar voice say. He rolled his eyes, knowing who it was right away.

"Hey, Jules," he said, getting to hug her. Then of course, he hugged Jaqueline and Dee.

"No, seriously, Dawson, Jules is right. Pacey told us that you were working on your so-called 'script' when you were waiting for Joey and Jack," Jaqueline smirked.

Dee elbowed her in the ribs and mouthed "Don't you know what happened on graduation????"

Jaqueline gave her a look as Dee's jaw dropped. "Tell you later" she mouthed in reply.

"It's no so-called script, Jaq," Dawson retorted. "For once, it's a real deal, heavy duty one. Remake of 'Les Miserables'.

Joey got distant from everyone else at the mention of the movie. She remembered the beauty pageant, and how she pushed Dawson away. But he pursued her. And look at where I am now, she thought. Engaged to Jack.

Meanwhile, in the real world, everyone except Dawson was trying to get her back to reality.

"Hello, Joey?!" Pacey said, whacking her on the head. "I believe you are the Dawson of this decade!"

The word 'Dawson' brought Joey back to our world. "Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You were off in la-la land. Hey, maybe whatever kind of daydreaming 24/7 thing Dawson had 10 years ago was contagious, but it didn't show up til now!" Andi said.

Jack, who had not said a word so far, was horribly upset at Dawson's presence. I just hope he understands that Joey's mine, all mine, he thought.

A few days later, at the actual wedding, Joey, the maid of honor, was helping Andi get ready.

"Andi, do you know what's with Dawson? He hasn't said a word to me this whole time!!!"

Andi pondered the many ways to explain this to Joey, and stumbled upon the perfect answer.

"You know when you guys were together, he always seem to had this...sparkle in his eyes?"

Joey nodded, confused already.

"Well, lemme just put it this way...that sparkle, Joey? That's been gone for years. Ever since you guys broke up. You were that sparkle, Jo. The only thing I see in his eyes now is a dull blue, that looks like everything he's ever wanted in the world is gone. Because you were his world, Joey." She ended in a whisper. "You still are."

Everything in Joey's head began to process what she had just heard, and then something just clicked. "Andi...I love him. And I never stopped. I need to talk to him."

"Well, then do it after the wedding."

The wedding was completed, Pacey had finally found happiness with someone his own age. And it would last forever.

"Dawson, can I talk to you for a minute?????" Joey asked him timidly.

"Okay...." Dawson replied, puzzled. But Joey's head was screaming in excitement. That was the first thing he had said to her in 7 years.

They went outside, and Dawson was trying to figure out why he was there.

Whenever we're alone, something is revealed, something life altering happens...if only I never kissed her.

so here we are alone again
didn't think I’d come to this
and to know it all began
with just a little kiss

"Okay, the reason I need to talk to you is because today when I was helping Andie get ready, I asked about you, and she was going on and on about you, and then suddenly, so-"

Dawson cut her off, knowing he needed to give the impression he was over her. "Look, Joey, I can't keep playing games with you. I can't stand here and listen to you tell me God knows what, because I know it'll probably break my heart again. I can't go to sleep everynight, in hopes that you'll come back to me, like I did until I was 20. I can't wait forever to hear you say those three little words. You'll only say them to Jack...you always would have said them to Jack. I gave you everything I could, and what did you do? You gave me a broken heart three times. Because you know what Joey? I've grown up, I've evolved. I'm so much more reality based and level headed than I was 10 years ago. And I'm now smart enough to know not to stand here and listen to you, not to fall in love with you again. You were right Jo." He turned towards the door and just as he was about to leave, he turned back and looked at her gravely. "People you thought were always gonna be there aren't." He paused. "Tell Pacey I'll see him later."

"Wait, Daws-" But it was too late. He had already left.

I've come too close to happiness to have it all swept away, and I can't let her do that, Dawson thought as he hauled a cab.

I’ve come too close to happiness
to have it swept away

Dawson got in the cab and gave the driver the directions to his hotel. A few minutes later, a car going at least 100 mph swerved into their lane and hit the cab. But before it did, Dawson had thought, I can't take the pain. No, I can never fall again, I'm just kind of late in the game.

don't think I can take the pain
no never fall again
kinda late in the game

Joey walked back over to her table, depressed. "Dawson said he'll see you later, Pacey."

"Okay." A few minutes passed by, as did the mindless chatter that came with it. But Joey, again, was not paying any attention. She was thinking about what Dawson said.

"Look, Joey, I can't keep playing games with you. I can't stand here and listen to you tell me God knows what, because I know it'll probably break my heart again. I can't go to sleep everynight, in hopes that you'll come back to me, like I did until I was 20. I can't wait forever to hear you say those three little words. You'll only say them to Jack...you always would have said them to Jack. I gave you everything I could, and what did you do? You gave me a broken heart three times. Because you know what Joey? I've grown up, I've evolved. I'm so much more reality based and level headed than I was 10 years ago. And I'm now smart enough to know not to stand here and listen to you, not to fall in love with you again."

He didn't his heart in my hands, and for me to stand there and tell him I love you and leave again.

and my heart is in your hands
don't you stand there and then tell
me
you love me
then leave again

Pacey heard his cell phone ring and sighed. "Hold on," he said to everyone. He turned away from them and answered his phone. "Hello? Yes, this is he...no...no...NO...yes, we'll be there right away." He turned back to everyone, tears in his eyes.

*Because he's falling in love with me all over again, and he just wanted me to hold him and never let go.

'cause I’m falling in love with you
again
hold me, hold me
don't ever let me go

"Pacey???" Dee asked him, worried. Pacey never cried.

"Dawson.........he was in a car accident. He's at St. Joseph's......"

Joey was shocked. She had given him the illusion that she loved Jack. But she didn't. She loved him. Joey was overcome with emotion as she started to cry. Then everyone saw through her act. She was head over heals for Dawson, and Jack was just someone to get him off her mind.

He just wanted me to say it one more time, that I love him...because he loves me...again.

say it just one more time
say you love me
god knows I do love you
again

To be continued in "Only You".

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