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Classification: Dawson/Joey, like all the others.
Disclaimer: Ya just keep coming back for more, huh? Okay, okay, let me think a minute…..okay, I've got it. Instead of a crash course in Disclaimerology, or a witty, yet sarcastic disclaimer, I'll use this as a shameless self-promo. Hello, I'm Spiritual Reverend Brain Freeze of the Church of Disclaimeria, here to recruit you to the world of the disclaimer. Once you join the Church of Disclaimeria, you will be entitled to read all of the disclaimers you want! That's right! No more reading pithy little works, hoping for disclaimers, all of your cravings satisfied in one! And if you make a hefty yet important donation to our church, you will receive, at no extra charge, your own disclaimer. Call 1-800-Suckers for more information. And may the disclaimers be with you.
Rating- PG. Oh please, this is so tame, Disney could show it.
Summary-Can we say Soap Opera? Always did love Days. Anyway, to sound like a REAL soap opera announcer, I'll go for the full effect. *ahem* This week on (insert cheesy sax music of choice) *The Dim, Brainless, and the Surgically Enhanced* (Note-Before someone who has misread this gets all out of whack, I'm gonna make this clear. I am NOT referring to Dawson's Creek with that title. I am referring to what most daytime soaps are like. Don't get me wrong, I love Days, but everytime I see Billie, I think *cough* nose job *cough*), Jen's long lost sister Megan, hardened by years of standing in the beautiful and anatomically perfect Jen's shadow, returns to remind Jen of her past New York ways, which no one but her closest friends and ex-lovers know of. Kathleen's tragic death leads to a self-realization moment with Pacey, in which he digs deep inside of himself for meaning and ends up with long heart to heart chats with friends that no real person would ever have. The division of the union of Dawson's parents leaves their tragically nice son crestfallen and antisocial. Can Joey, his beautiful, smart, witty, model girlfriend who jetsets between L.A., New York, Milan, Paris, Tokyo, and Capeside bring him out of it? Will Valerie, the sniping vindictive witch really not cause trouble, which she is so good at? Will Cliff, the perfect, muscle-bound football player who worships the beautiful blond Jen ever find out her past? Will this summary ever end? What's really in Spam? Well, I can't answer the Spam one, but as for the others, those questions and more will be answered on (more cheesy sax music) *The Dim, Brainless, and the Surgically Enhanced.*
"I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty
inside I would swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch is spin round to a beautiful oblivion Rendezvous then I'm through with you."
-Eve 6 "Inside Out" (I love this song!)
Megan grinned. "At a loss for words, Princess Jenny?" she asked as Jen gaped at her, "Come on, is this any way to treat your dear sister?" "Dear my foot," Jen snapped, glaring, "what the hell do you want, Megan? Or have you just come to ruin my life?"
Megan shrugged. "I heard you were doing well and being such a good girl, and I didn't believe it so I had to come see for myself. And I am somewhat surprised, Jen, where's your leather mini and your stash of condoms, or is that just for the weekends?"
Jen turned and started walking away, hoping Megan would get the picture and leave. "HEY!" Megan yelled angrily, following her, "I was talking. But it doesn't surprise me that you didn't listen. You never did." Jen walked faster, but Megan just kept up.
"So, who's this guy I saw you with, Jen?" Megan asked, "another one of your lovers? How many does this make?"
Jen turned around and glared at Megan. "I've changed, Megan," she said, "you don't have to believe it, I don't care if you do, but I'm not that way anymore. The boy you saw was my boyfriend Cliff, and no, we haven't slept together, nor will we for a very long time. Those days are over."
"Right," Megan said snidely, "and I'm the Queen of England."
"You always were a royal pain in the ass," Jen said.
"Ooh, I'm so hurt, " Megan said, "Jen doesn't like me."
"I don't know what you want," Jen said, "but you won't find it here. So go on home before I have you physically removed."
"Can't go home," Megan said, "I'm a runaway and a thief. I stole Billy's car. So, I'm not going home. Besides, I think I might like Capeside. Or if I don't, at least I can make your life hell while I'm here." Jen shook her head.
"I'm not getting into this with you Megan," she said, "I'm sorry if I hurt you before, but it's in the past. Get over it."
"You're sorry?" Megan said, laughing angrily, "You're SORRY?! I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to know what it's like to be the unloved one, Jen. I want you to wake up every morning knowing that no one loves you. For once, I want you to live the hell I lived. And I'm not leaving until that's what your life is like."
Jen looked at Megan nervously. She could do it. Technically, no one in Capeside but Valerie, Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and Grams knew about her past in New York.
"What do you want?" Jen asked.
Megan smiled. "Ah, bribery. Trying to get your way. I knew you hadn't completely changed. Well, I was never one to pass up an offer. But it's going to be a heavy price. First off, I want a place to stay. A nice place. Something with a comfy bed. I've slept in a car for the last two days. I'm sure Grams has an extra room. Second, I want half of your clothing. I only brought a few outfits. I want two-thirds of the money you have, since I'll need supplies. And don't say you're broke, I logged into your bank account online and saw your balance. Also, you will not show any hostility to me. As far as anyone in Capeside will know, I am your adored older sister, and you have always stood in my shadow. You will introduce me to your friends and I will get to know them."
"What's the point of this, Megan?" Jen asked suspiciously. Megan smiled. "I just want to learn all about my sweet baby sister's new life. After all, I'm going to be here for a while…."
"Dawson, you're insane," Joey said as she watched him pace around his room, "I mean, you're playing with people's feelings here." "But that's the beauty of it, Jo," Dawson said, "It'll be just like something out of the movies. You have the beautiful, but imperfect woman who's fallen off of the impossibly high pedestal that the over idealistic man placed her on. With the right mood and lighting, they will be reunited again. Like in 'The Parent Trap.'"
"First off," Joey said, "I don't think your parents would like to be compared to the dopey parents in a schmaltzy Disney film who are unable to choose their life partners without pushing from their younger halves. Second, life isn't a movie. You just can't make plot changes halfway through. Just sit back and watch the show, Dawson, this isn't your film."
"But it is, Jo," Dawson said, "this is all my film. It's like 'Dawson's World' or 'Dawson Leery's Day Off.' Think about it. You have the idealistic, romantic, and yes, oblivious lead guy who first falls for the blond bombshell and finally notices the beautiful girl in the form of a best friend who's always been there. You have the comic relief friend who is the misfit of the town, and the parents who are suffering from romance problems of their own. It's a classic storyline. Just go rent any Molly Ringwold film and I swear you'll agree."
Joey rolled her eyes. "Life doesn't work that way. It's never that exciting. Romantic and unexpected things just don't happen. You don't have mysterious characters who waltz in, turn everything upside down and disappear."
"Oh yeah?" Dawson said, "Well let me enlighten you, Young Grasshopper. Who'd have ever thought that tomboy Joey Potter who was dragged kicking and screaming into the Miss Windjammer Pageant would become a famous model? Or that Pacey Witter the strikeout artist would first have an affair with a teacher, and then a passionate fling with an old-fashioned Great Garbo-ish waif who lived with a kooky old man in his spacious home, only to later have her die a tragic death caused by the world she wanted to love? And as for mysterious characters waltzing in…" Dawson said, trailing off as he looked out the window.
Joey leaned over and looked out the window. Her jaw almost dropped when she saw what was out there. Jen was standing on the lawn, her arms crossed, looking uncomfortable, talking to a taller girl who looked almost exactly like Jen, only a little more dressed down.
"I didn't know Jen had a twin," Joey said, joining Dawson to stare out the window.
"I don't think she does," Dawson said, "she mentioned a sister, but she never really talked about her."
"I think we've just seen our mysterious new character," Joey said. Jen turned and walked inside, and the other girl turned to follow her. But before the other girl walked inside, she turned and looked directly at Dawson and Joey. Smiling sweetly, she walked inside.
Pacey tapped his pen against his Algebra 2 book and focused on Cramer's Law. "Studying hard or hardly studying?" Doug asked as he walked in. Pacey sighed.
"I was trying to study, but I keep thinking about Kathleen." Doug's usually mocking face soften.
"You know, I always thought you were a joke, but you really did care about her didn't you?'
"Yeah," Pacey said softly, "I can't explain it. There was just something about her."
"Romeo and Juliet," Doug said, "Meant to be, but then again, not."
"I never thought I'd be having a serious conversation with the closet case who packs heat," Pacey said, laughing.
"And I never thought I'd take the town joke seriously," Doug said, smiling, "now finish your work before you destroy this pristine new image I have of you."
Grams looked up as Jen and Megan walked inside and her jaw dropped. "Megan," Grams said, "this is a surprise. I just heard from your parents. They said you ran away."
Megan laughed. "Oh no, Grammy," she said, "I just missed my sister so much and I had to come see that she was doing well." Grams smiled. "That's very sweet of you, Megan," she said.
"Grammy?" Megan asked, "Would you mind if I stayed with you for a while? I can enroll in the local high school and everything. I just don't think the city is for me. Too fast paced and corruptive. And not a decent church in sight…"
Jen glared at Megan. Oh she was devious. She knew Grams was big on church. And Jen had heard Megan curse at God about the life she lived before. Smart, devious girl…
Grams bought it. "Certainly, Megan," she said, "I'll go call your parents and clear everything with them."
Grams walked to the living room to call Megan and Jen's parents, and Megan turned to Jen with a triumphant smile. "Easy as pie," she said, "and to think I picked my con job off of you. The one thing you ever gave me." Jen bit her tongue. The last thing she needed was to royally piss off a girl who already hated her and possessed destructive information on her. "Now," Megan said, "who was that gorgeous blond fox staring out the window next door."
"Stay away from Dawson," Jen said quickly, "He's dating Joey, he loves Joey. You'll only get into trouble if you mess with them. Valerie did and you'll find out about her soon enough."
Megan frowned angrily for a moment and said, "Always did try to keep the good ones away from me." But Megan dropped it, knowing she wouldn't win that one.
"I'm not keeping anything from you," Jen said, "it's just a warning. Besides, there isn't exactly any girl in the area at the moment who will equal Joey in Dawson's eyes. I mean, Joey's his best friend, his girlfriend, and a famous model to boot. There aren't exactly a bunch of them running around."
"Whatever," Megan said, shrugging, "plenty of fish in the sea. You'd know. You've had the whole damn seafood platter."
Jen sighed. This was going to be a fun experience.
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