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"It doesn't seem so long ago," Joey said, "that we were playing tag and eating ice cream and Mr. Leery was yelling at us to calm down. Pacey, Dawson, and I. Then came Jen and we were complete. In my soul rests the eternal gift that Dawson gave me, love, and I hold that more dear to my heart than gold or diamonds. I want to go back in time and remain there forever, but none of us can. When Dawson went away he took a piece of all of our harts. Yet I don't want mine back because as long as he has it, he knows that I love him and so do the rest of you." She caught Mrs. Leery eye and gave her a reassuring smile before continuing.
As Joey spoke, she looked sadly out at the water, the beautiful creek which she had rowed upon so many times. Dawson's Creek. This was where Dawson's ashes were to be scattered. And Joey felt the tears well up in her eyes as she gave, upon his request in the will, Dawson's eulogy.
"We love you Dawson and this for you."
Joey closed her eyes and began to read the poem within her heart.
She hadn't cried at the hospital when the doctors told them Dawson was in danger. And she hadn't cried when they said his head injuries were more serious than they had known. Or when they said he wouldn't make it through the night. But now she cried when it hit her that her best friend was gone and there was nothing she could do. So she cried for Dawson and all of his unfinished dreams, and when everyone else took their turn saying a few words she cried until it hurt.
"Thanks for offering to take me to the airport." Jen said once the waitress had taken their order.
Joey knew the commuter flight to Boston's airport was horrible, so she decided to drive Jen and stop off for some food before the flight. Joey wanted to leave, yet was sad. She doubted that she would be back there soon, if ever. Too many memories. Joey didn't comment on Jen's thanks but sat there, without speaking. Her face clearly showed that there was something on her mind.
"You know," Joey broke the silence, "how the police will never catch the other person in the truck. And I really want them to, so I can thank that person for taking away one of the best things in my life." She looked down into her lap, the tears very evident.
Joey looked up crying, "I miss him, Jen. Right now I want to reach out and touch him, but I can't. Dawson was supposed to always be there. I was going to see him receive an Oscar for directing, but now............................and he was going to see my baby grow up."
Jen widened her eyes, speechless at the revelation Joey had just laid on her.
"Yeah, I know, it's a big shock. That man who called the other night is the father." Though she smiled sadly, "he doesn't want any responsibility."
"Oh Joey," Jen sighed sympathetically.
Joey sat up, "don't feel bad for me. He had wanted me to have an abortion and when I said no he gave me an ultimatum................but I made the right choice."
There was a silence for a while until the waitress came back with their food. They ate soundlessly, Jen trying to process the information and Joey thinking about what life had cheated her out of with Dawson. The restaurant was noisy, though the sounds of their own thoughts drowned out all sounds until Jen spoke.
"What are you going to do about Pacey?"
"Nothing," she vocalized softly, "I have to take care of my life before I can think of a relationship with anyone. We kissed, and it was wonderful; All these feelings came flooding back. It could have been that my hormones are going rapid during my pregnancy, but............I think it was the real thing. Though I'm not going to tell him, not yet."
Jen shook her head, "he would be understanding and it would help to have someone who lived so close to you. What are you going to do on your own?"
Joey smiled and thought reflectively. "It scared me to think of being a single mother but I won't be alone. I have you, Jason, and Daw....................I have Dawson in spirit and I have myself. So I'm going to be fine without Pacey, I've been okay without him for a long time."
The gate was crowded with people waiting for the passengers to leave the plane so that the other passengers may board. It was Joey's flight and she was saddened by the thought that last time she was on a plane, Dawson was alive. The plane took off 45 minutes before Jen's , so Jen walked her to the gate.
"You know I'm going to come out soon and see you and your not going to keep from the baby when it's born. I never asked, how far along are you?"
Joey smiled at Jen's enthusiasm, "three months."
"Wow, it's going to be nice to be called aunt Jen."
The airlines personnel called for the passengers to board and Joey gave Jen a hug.
"Okay Aunt Jen, it's time for me to go."
"Take care of yourself and the baby, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."
The words touched Joey's heart and quietly said thank you before boarding the plane.
Pacey collapsed into his seat on the plane. His mind raced with thoughts of Dawson and Joey. He thought about how close they had all been and how they had grown apart. Pacey hurt inside and he couldn't wisecrack to vent his feelings, because there was no one to talk to. Dawson was his best friend and now he was gone, the realization blurred his senses and he didn't know what to do. If things were different him and Joey would be able to talk about it and get each other through, but life was the way it was. And after that kiss Joey had all but told him to hit the road. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but coping with his grief made him too emotionally tired to do anything. Yet Pacey still wanted to talk to Joey, he could find out where she lived, *but maybe now isn't the right time.*
As the plane took off, Pacey decided to wait a while before pursuing his feelings. Though not too long. He had wasted enough time already.
A little sad, sorry to all you Dawson lovers. Well if you liked it nevertheless, please let me know.
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