Joey pulled the strap of her backpack higher on her shoulder as she walked around the side of the house. She loved taking art classes at the community college but by the time she got home after her night class she was always ready to drop. As she crossed the yard to the back steps, a shadow at the end of the dock caught her eye. The shadow shifted and Joey stifled the startled scream she was about to emit when the moonlight silhouetted the mystery figure's profile. She saw that it was Pacey. Bewildered as to why he would be sitting in her backyard at close to 11:30 p.m., she dropped her books on the picnic table and walked to the end of the dock. Pacey didn't look up until she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Pace, it's a little late for-"

The smart-ass remark died on her lips when he looked up at her. He was pale and his eyes were rimmed red. In a flash, she sat down beside him and was tugging on his arm. "Pacey, what's wrong? Are you alright?" He didn't say anything at first. He was hunched over, staring fixedly at the water, almost in a daze, his face hardened as if cast in stone. His hands were fisted on his thighs and in the left one, he gripped a folded piece of paper. "Got a letter from Andie today," he said quietly.

Pacey sounded casual, but Joey knew it had been just about two months since Andie left and this was the first time Pacey had heard from her, despite a good number of unreturned calls and letters on his part. Jack had been hired at the video store about a week back and most of Pacey's new free time had been spent with Joey hanging out, sometimes with Jack or Jen. Nothing untoward had happened between them at all since the fourth, but they had had some pretty serious talks about all manner of things, including of course, Andie and Dawson. Pacey had told her how much his relationship with Andie meant to him. Looking at him now, she knew the letter couldn't have been the sappy, mush-filled missive he had expected.

"Not good I take it?" She said sympathetically.

Silently, Pacey looked away and held out the letter to her. She looked at the white square and felt a wave of foreboding. Half of her wanted to toss the letter in the creek, as if that would magically erase its existence. The other half couldn't help but want to read it. Curiosity won out. She took the paper and unfolded it, feeling slightly uncomfortable and inappropriate for reading this obviously personal letter.

Dear Pacey,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written to you before now, but I've been really busy dealing with my parents and my therapy sessions. I think I'm finally starting to get better. How are things in Capeside? I didn't realize how much I missed Providence. It's beautiful here in the summer. There are all these canals in the city and they have something called Water Fire, where they light all these torches in the river…

Listen to me, I haven't talked to you in two months and all I can do is ask inane questions and sound like a travel brochure. I miss you, Pacey. And I know you're not going to like this, but I'm not sure if I'll be coming back to Capeside in the fall. I need to concentrate on getting better and I can't do that when I'm around you. You're my knight in shining armor, Pacey, but I need to stand on my own two feet. I can't have you saving me from myself all the time. So I've decided I need to be on my own for a while.

I'm reading this over and it sounds so horrible. I still love you and I always will. I just need to be strong for myself for a change. And as selfish as it sounds, I can't do that if I'm worrying about my parents and Jack and school and you. Remember when I told you a few months ago that I needed to uncomplicate my life? Well I still do, more than ever, Pacey. So I guess this is goodbye, for a while anyhow.

I'll love you always,

Andie

Joey refolded the letter carefully and handed it back to Pacey. She wasn't sure what to say so she didn't say anything. He jammed it in his pocket and stared angrily at the water. Minutes passed and a heavy silence descended at the end of the dock.

Then in a brittle voice, Pacey said, "So what is it about me Joey? Why is it that no matter how hard I try I always end up disappointing the people who mean the most to me?"

She looked in his eyes, seeing the hurt and the anger and the helplessness there. "Pacey, that's not true-" She reached out to touch him but he shied away, too angry to stand being comforted.

"No it is. It is true Joey. I mean look at my life. My own father thinks I'm a waste of time, I cost Tamara her job, and now Andie, I've failed her too." His voice broke.

Joey saw the wild heartbroken look in Pacey's eyes and it tore at her. Again, instincts kicked in and she almost reached out to pull him into her arms and make it all better. But, a voice of reason deep inside insisted that now was not the right time for such action-for a number of reasons. Still, she sighed and unconsciously nudged him with her shoulder. "You didn't fail her Pacey. Andie has serious problems that you can't do anything about. She needs this time to get better."

"I love her, Joey. I should have helped her."

"Are you kidding? Pacey, without you, she probably wouldn't have even made it through the year. You helped her deal with her mom. You got Abby back for that little stunt she pulled at the election. You even fixed the cake at the wedding, although how you did that is still beyond me." She laughed nervously, hoping for some response from him and receiving none. Although he wasn't looking at her, she thought he was listening.

She continued on, more softly. "And Jack told me what you did for her when she thought she was seeing Tim. Pacey, you just have to realize you can't fix every situation. Some problems are just beyond our control."

Her words reminded him of the very same things he had said to Andie once, and he missed her more than ever. "God Joey, she's got it all backwards. She's the one who saved me. She made me a better person. I don't know how I'm going to make it without her."

She frowned trying to choose her words carefully. "Pacey, I've known you for a long time and you've never given yourself enough credit. I mean I know we joke around all the time with the insults and all, but underneath that devil-may-care attitude you like to show the world, I always knew I could count on you whenever I really needed a friend Pacey. You've always been there for me when I needed someone not so removed from reality to vent to, for Dawson when he needed someone to reel him back from Never-NeverLand. And you were the only one who supported Jack from the very beginning, although it was arguably detrimental to your track record with English teachers." This fleetingly brought a small smile to Pacey's face.

"Andie didn't change you Pacey. She just helped you realize your potential." He didn't look convinced. Joey however, wasn't about to give up. She snapped her fingers excitedly. "It's like that movie you love…Dumbo."

He looked at her as if she had just grown some antlers. "Dumbo? My relationship with Andie is like an elephant in a Disney cartoon." "Yes." Pacey rolled his eyes, but Joey had already started steamrolling through the rest of her analogy. "Look, Dumbo had his magic feather right? Then he loses it and he's stuck in that burning building and he doesn't want to jump and the little mouse tells him he could do it all along. There ya go, you're an elephant and Andie was the feather." He looked at her like the antlers were suddenly sprouting tinsel. She sighed, realizing Dawson was much better with these movie analogies. "All I'm saying is the Pacey who came to everyone's rescue this year wasn't a different guy, you had it in you all along."

"So you're trying to tell me I don't need Andie just like Dumbo didn't need the feather huh?"

She only smiled. "I'm telling you, you can fly without her."

She watched his reaction as he weighed her words and studied the gently rippling creek below. Inwardly she sighed, the fact that this conversation could also apply to her own muddled love life wasn't lost on Joey. It was the same problem she had faced earlier this year when she'd broken up with Dawson to "find herself." She figured if she could put away her security blanket, so could Pacey.

Pacey sighed and looked at her seriously. "Yeah, well what if you're wrong Joey? Cause I'm standing on the ledge here and it's looking like a long way down."

She reached over, taking his balled up fist in her hands and opening it up. Then she slid her hand inside his and interlocked their fingers. Joey looked up and gave him a bittersweet smile.

"Then, I'll jump with you."

"When are you going?" Jen rinsed the suds off the last dish in the sink and handed it to Jack, who stood ready with a towel.

"Next Saturday. We both have it off and Pacey figured this way if things go well, he could spend the whole day with Andie. She doesn't have any therapy sessions on the weekend."

"So what do you think Andie's gonna say? I mean she made it pretty clear she didn't want to see him in the letter. You think this is a good idea?" Pacey had told them all about the letter he'd gotten last week from Andie. "I don't know, Jen. Andie's not a big fan of surprises. But I do think Pacey's good for her and I know they love each other a lot. I guess I agree with what Joey told him, some things are worth fighting for."

Jen thought how ironic it was that Joey was giving Pacey advice on his love life. She had to give her credit though. Jen didn't think she would have been able to dispense dating wisdom for the guy she had feelings for and his ex-girlfriend. Of course, not that Joey would admit she was falling for Pacey, of all people. But Jen had watched them pretty closely since the big smooch and even if they didn't know it yet, she was sure they'd figure it out soon enough. She'd seen the long looks, heard the excuses made to tickle or punch or share some kind of bodily contact, caught the double entendres and innuendoes behind the banter. Oh, there was definitely some sparks there. Now it was just a matter of time till they acted on it.

And Jen was very glad. Andie was nice enough, if a bit high-strung-truthfully, Jen had forgiven her, but not really forgotten that it was Andie who'd turned her and Abby away from the wedding that day. Although she knew it wasn't fair, she couldn't help think that if Andie had been a little less anal-retentive, Abby might still be alive, albeit gleefully spreading her special brand of misery among them all.

More importantly though, if Pacey and Joey had something going on, then when Dawson returned, she and Joey wouldn't have to go back to being enemies. Not that Jen had any intention of getting into another romantic relationship with Dawson-or anyone else for that matter. After her last failed relationship with Ty, she figured it was time she start enjoying being single for a change. Besides, she didn't feel so lonely all the time anymore. Besides reconciling with Joey, Jen had really renewed her friendship with Pacey and she couldn't even imagine what her life would be like without Jack now. All in all, Jen felt like she'd gotten a second chance to start over in Capeside.

"So are you and Joey coming with us?" Jack's question interrupted her reverie.

"Oh, I don't know. It might be kind of awkward. I don't know Andie too well and Joey-" She broke off, aware she had been about to allude to the fact that despite her advice, Joey couldn't be feeling too enthusiastic about this trip. "I just think Pacey might want some time alone with Andie, you know?" "Well our house is right near Brown on the East Side, you guys could check out Thayer Street and we can meet up later or something. Besides, if my sister reacts the way I think she will, Pacey might not take it so well."

And maybe Joey will need to be there to pick up the pieces. "Good point, I'll talk to Joey."

"Are you OK with this? " Joey asked, as she picked a red-faced wailing Alex up from his crib. She put the baby on her shoulder, rubbing his back soothingly to no avail. It was Friday night and the plan tomorrow was for the gang to take the ferry over to Providence so Pacey and Andie could spend some quality time together, and Jack, Jen and Joey would do stuff in the city. "I mean, Jen and I don't have to come."

"Don't be silly," Pacey said, motioning her to hand Alex to him. Joey was on babysitting duty once again and Pacey was keeping her company. Bessie had called him last week and asked if he could come by and keep an eye on things while she worked several nights a week at her new job managing a trendy bistro downtown. Mr. Potter also worked nights and Bessie had told him she felt better knowing there was a man around the house. Pacey had been so flattered that she considered him a man-not a boy-he didn't even suspect that Bessie might have had an ulterior motive for getting him to hang around more often. This was his third night this week at Joey's house and he was surprised to find how comfortable he felt there, especially playing with Alex. He was a sweet kid and he'd taken quite a liking to Pacey as well.

"Andie and I will be so busy getting reacquainted we won't even notice you're there," he grinned lasciviously as she handed the baby to him. "Jack can take you out and show you the town."

Tenderly, his hands cradled Alex's head as he rocked the baby. Like magic, Alex gurgled contentedly snuggling up against Pacey's chest and promptly quieting down. Joey shook her head in disbelief. It never failed-Alex always knew when Pacey was holding him and he calmed down instantly. Then again, if she was the one curled up against him, she'd probably be pretty content too. Immediately, Joey flushed with embarrassment. The feelings she'd tried so hard to squelch after their accidental kiss had been plaguing her more and more in the past two weeks. Not that it matters, she told herself sternly, he has a girlfriend, don't forget that.

Actually, it had been Joey's idea for him to go to Providence. She thought if he and Andie could work things out, perhaps she wouldn't have to deal with these new and unwelcome feelings. But as she watched Pacey beam proudly at a now-snoring Alex, she couldn't help but think that for all his bluster, he had a pretty soft heart. His expectations for this weekend were so high and Joey knew from experience that people seldom lived up to your expectations for them. She was worried he would get hurt.

Whispering now, she thought maybe she should try to talk him out of going. "Pacey I know you think your charm is irresistible, but maybe you shouldn't expect so much from this trip. I mean, maybe you should give Andie some time like she asked for, before you go visit her."

Pacey walked over to Alex's crib and gently kissed the baby's forehead before he laid him down for the night. "Tell your Aunt Joey to stop worrying, huh Alex? Andie's gonna come to her senses and realize that she can't live without me, and everything's gonna be perfect. Just perfect."

Joey sighed as she hit the lights and followed Pacey out to the living room. Perfectly delusional, sounded more like it.

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