“And in the weather,” The reporter on TV was saying “it looks like another hot, beautiful day tomorrow....”

“Beautiful?” Tatum repeated, sitting on the couch in a bathing suit with several electric fans positioned around her “You know what this world needs? A few six months pregnant weather reporters.”

“I can picture you doing that.” Joey said “And now for the weather, here’s Tatum Potter, our own knocked up meteorologist.”

Tatum laughed “Well folks, looks like another scorching, shitty day tomorrow.” she threw the remote at the TV “Enough of this crap. I wanna watch ‘There’s Something About Mary’!”

“How many times have you seen that movie?” Joey asked “I swear, you keep watching that movie over and over and over your daughter is going to have brain damage.”

“My baby is not going to have brain damage.” Tatum pouted.

“She’s your daughter, and Pacey’s. She’s gonna have severe brain damage.” Joey teased.

Just then, Pacey walked in “Good morning, ladies.”

“Well, speak of the amazingly horny person.” Joey muttered “Nice to see you too, Jo.” Pacey said as she leaned over and gave Tatum a kiss.

“Don’t you have a home any more?” Joey asked.

“Yeah.” Pacey replied “But I’d rather not spend a lot of time there, now that Doug’s always hanging around there with Kelly.”

“Who’s Kelly?”

“His brother’s new live-in girlfriend.” Tatum explained.

“Wait a minute,” Joey said “didn’t you guys have a no live-in girlfriend rule?”

“Well, we did.” Pacey said “But Doug figures that if I can get a girl pregnant, then it’s no big deal if he has a girl move in with us.”

Tatum laughed “His logic does not resemble earth logic.”

* * * *

“Hey, Tatum.” Jen said as she walked into the bookstore that afternoon “What are you doing here?”

“I work here.” Tatum replied “Hey, wait, what are you doing here? Oh, did you get lost on your way to the mall? It’s that way, this is a bookstore.”

Jen rolled her eyes “I know that. I was just checking to see if you guys had the new issue of Cosmo yet. It’s too hot to read anything with any depth.”

“Amen to that.” Tatum giggled. She reached under the counter and pulled out the magazine “Here you go. I was just flipping through it while Ms. Finizio wasn’t watching. There’s a great article in there on standing up for yourself and being assertive.”

“Cool.” Jen said “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at home? I thought the doctor wanted you to stay off your feet.”

“Last day.” Tatum explained “After today I’m quitting. Believe me, I’m none too happy about it. You know I’m not one of those people who’s content sitting around at home all day long.”

“In this heat, there’s not much else to do.” Jen pointed out “You think you’re having trouble coping with this weather?” Tatum asked “Try being nearly six months pregnant. At least here at the bookstore they have the air conditioner set to ‘January in Antarctica.’”

“You want to come over this afternoon?” Jen suggested “I finally convinced Grams that we needed air conditioning in that house.”

“No thanks.” Tatum replied “No offense, but I don’t think I’ll be visiting your house until your grandmother learns my name is ‘Tatum’ not ‘Godless little fornicator.’”

* * * *

“I am so dead.” Pacey moaned, staring at the scratch on the side of his brother’s car “I’m worse than dead. I’m screwed.”

“It’s not that big.” Dawson lied “Maybe Doug won’t notice it.”

“He’ll notice.” Pacey said “He notices everything.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Jose offered.

“Oh goody.” Pacey said sarcastically.

Jose ignored him “We could put my ‘Grass, Gas, or Ass’ bumper sticker over it.”

“Brilliant.” Dawson muttered “Yeah, he’ll notice a little scratch, but he’ll never notice a mildly obscene bumper sticker that wasn’t even all that funny in the 70’s.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jack said “whatever happens, we’ll all take the blame, right guys?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dawson and Jose agreed.

Just then, Doug walked out of the house carrying a trash bag. None of the boys moved or made a sound as he dumped the bag in the trash can at the end of the driveway, then turned around. Halfway to the house, he stopped and looked at the car.

“How’d you scratch the car, Pacey?” Doug asked.

“See ya.” Dawson, Jose, and Jack said as they all hurried away.

“Well?” Doug said “I’m still waiting for an explanation.”

Pacey chuckled nervously “Well, uh, funny story, actually. I was backing out of a parking space, and Jose was in the backseat kind of goofing off, and he thought it would be funny to lean forward and give me a purple nurple, and I accidentally backed into a shopping cart.”

Doug stared at him for a second “What the hell is a purple nurple?”

“Well, that’s, um, this thing, uh, were you sort of grab someone’s nipple through their shirt and twist it.” Pacey explained “You know, until it turns purple.”

“Give me your keys.” Doug said “Come on, give them to me. You’re not going to drive this car until you learn some responsibility.”

“I’m responsible!” Pacey retorted.

“No you’re not.” Doug insisted “Responsible people do not go around getting their nipples twisted.”

Pacey nearly gagged “Man, when you say that it just sounds weird.”

* * * *

“So he revoked your driving privileges?” Tatum asked “That really sucks. Although considering the fact that he’s a cop, I guess you’re kinda lucky he didn’t revoke your license.”

“I guess.” Pacey agreed “But I can’t believe he took away my keys!”

“Yeah, Doug overreacted. Who woulda thunk it?” Abby said sarcastically.

“I would have.” Jack said, clearly not getting the sarcasm “I’ve noticed Doug can be a real hard-ass. One little toke over the line and Sweet Jesus you are clobbered, you know what I’m saying?”

There was a brief silence in the room.

“So,” Pacey said “you guys wanna walk to the Ice House?”

“Too far.” Joey muttered.

“Well,” Tatum said “We could walk to the-”

“Too far.” Dawson interrupted.

Just then, Jen burst in “You guys are so gonna love me. Our transportation problems are solved!”

“How’d you manage that?” Tatum asked.

“I talked Grams into lending me the car.” Jen said proudly “So, now that we’ve got some wheels, where do you guys want to go?” no one answered “Uh, you wanna just hang out around here?”

“Yeah, sure, yeah.” everyone else agreed.

* * * *

“Doug?” Kelly said “What the hell are you doing out here in the driveway?”

“Looking at this scratch my brother put in the car.” Doug replied without looking up.

Kelly squinted at the car for a minute before she saw the scratch “Aw, gee whiz.” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm “That musta been some accident. Was he killed?”

“Oh, come on, Kel.” Doug said “Enough smart talk. I get enough of that from my brother.”

“You didn’t do anything stupid like take away his keys, did you?” Kelly asked.

“Of course I did.” Doug replied “He’s going to be a father, Kelly. He needs to learn some responsibility.”

“You know what, you’re right. He really needs to be more responsible.” Kelly said, her voice still dripping with sarcasm “So when he gets home, you hold him down, and I’ll burn him with a cigarette.”

* * * *

“Ouch!” Tatum groaned “This baby will not stop kicking me! Anyone got some chocolate? That always calms her down.”

“While making you so hyper it’s terrifying.” Abby pointed out “I think you’ve had enough for one day.”

“Just wait until you have kids!” Tatum told her “Then we’ll see how funny it is!”

“Nothing’s funny in this heat.” Abby muttered “Hey, you guys wanna go over to my house? It’s 5:30, my mom should be passed out by now.”

“I don’t know.” Jen said “Can we put makeup on her?”

“Sure.” Abby replied “And we can use the pool.”

“I’m in.” Pacey said.

“It beats sitting around here.” Tatum added “You know something, Abby? When did your mom get so weird, anyway? Do all parents end up like that?”

“I sure hope I never end up like that.” Joey added.

“Me too.” Tatum agreed “I want to be a good mother.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, these days being a good mom basically involves getting the kid to age 18 without a rap sheet.”

“Well I’m aiming a little higher than that.” Tatum said “I’d like to have the kind of daughter who doesn’t bring her friends over to put makeup on me when I’m passed out.” Everyone laughed.

“Suuure.” Abby muttered sarcastically “Let’s all make fun of the girl with the drunk mom!”

* * * *

Abby cautiously dipped her toe in the pool “Brrr! The water is freezing!”

“You’re pretty gutsy sticking your toe in the water like that.” Jack told her.

“Why’s that?” Abby asked.

“Well, I thought you witches melted on contact with water.” Jack replied, laughing at his own joke.

With one push, Abby sent him flying headlong into the pool.

“Wow.” Jack shuddered “This water is cold!”

“You’re pretty gutsy flying headfirst into the water like that.” Abby told him.

“Hey, look out everyone!” Andie yelled when she saw Tatum climbing into the pool “Here comes Namu the killer whale!”

“Oh, fuck you!” Tatum muttered “It’s bad enough that I look like a friggin’ beached whale.”

“At least you look like a cute beached whale.” Pacey told her.

“Oh yark, there they go again!” Jen moaned.

“Uh-oh.” Tatum said “Anyone else hear thunder?”

* * * *

“Well, I never thought it possible,” Tatum sighed, staring out the window at the thunder storm “but this both sucks and blows.” it had been raining for half an hour, and all of them were so bored they had resorted to playing Scrabble™ and watching Cartoon Network. “Ouch!” Tatum cried suddenly.

Andie and Pacey jumped up so fast they nearly knocked over the card table “What? What?!”

“Ouch.” Tatum repeated, pointing to the board “O-U-C-H. That’s triple word score, 26 points. Geez, why are you guys so jumpy?”

“Uh, no reason.” Andie replied “So, it’s my turn right? So, let’s see-”

“Ouch!” Tatum interrupted.

“Yeah, ok, Tatum!” Andie said “We got it!”

“No,” Tatum gasped out, clutching her stomach “I mean, ‘ouch’ as in ouch, I just had a contraction.”

Joey laughed “Good one. Oh man, wouldn’t it be bad luck if you really did go into labor right now? It’s pouring rain outside, we have no car-”

“Jo, I’m serious!” Tatum moaned.

“You’re really in labor?” Pacey asked.

“Yes!” Tatum yelled.

“Ok, everyone just calm down!” Andie said.

“Us? You’re the one who needs to calm down.” Jack told her.P> “Shut up, Jack!” Andie screamed “I am trying to think!”

“Excuse me!” Tatum yelled over the noise “Are we maybe forgetting something? Like, maybe the pregnant woman who’s gone into labor three months early?” she doubled over and moaned as another contraction started.

Pacey grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly “It’s ok, Tatum. Just take deep breaths, you’ll be ok.”

Mrs. Morgan stumbled into the room “Wass goin’ on in here?” she slurred. For a moment, the room was silent “Is this a bad time, Abby?”

“Uh, yeah, mom. Go back to bed.” Abby told her.

“We have to get her to a hospital!” Jen said “Dammit! Of all the horrible things to have happen....Well don’t just stand there, *someone* do *something*!”

“Ok, ok, do something.” Andie muttered “Uh, Tatum! Put your legs together!”

“It’s a little late for that.” Joey observed “She should’ve done that six months ago.

“Joey!” Dawson said “Quit cracking jokes and go call your sister!”

“Good idea.” Joey agreed “Don’t worry, Tatum. You’ll be ok.”

* * * *

To be continued.......

* * * *

Part 25 coming soon!

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