What the hell, Joey thought as she pulled her car up to Jen and hers apartment. Slowly and carefully she parked between two very expensive BMW's on the street. From inside the car she watched the scene by the outside of the apartment building. There was a group of reporters gathered by the door to their apartment building. They seemed to look impatient as if expecting something that had not yet arrived. She didn't know it was she. They were holding microphones and notepads. Behind most of them was a co-worker with a camera or video. She recognized most of the paper and TV publications. The National Enquirer, she noted, sleaze gazette. Daily Variety, she continued, prestigious. What do they want here with the tabloids, she thought. Teen People, you've got to be kidding me. People, the tabloid of prestigious magazines. Entertainment Tonight, good when they want to be. She was expecting to see a critic from TV Guide any minute. She continued to watch for whatever they were watching. Minutes passed and they continued to stand outside the building. Whatever it was, it wasn't coming soon. She wondered if it was safe to get out of the car and decided she didn't have much choice unless she wanted to make camp there. She grabbed her suitcase and purse and stepped out of the car locking it behind her. She walked across the sidewalk, the crowd not noticing her presence. As she neared some of them started snapping her picture. She gave them a funny look and continued walking. "Excuse me," she said politely coming up to massive crowd, but she couldn't get through. "Excuse me, please."

"Josephine, what's your current situation with Dawson Leery?" asked a blond in a tailored suit by Joey's left.

"What?" she asked startled by the unexpected question.

"Do you still love him?" asked another woman. She looked at the woman, eyes big and round. It was like being told there was no Santa Claus. The shock and terror and then the big unbelieving eyes.

"Josephine, what happened in college? Would you get back together with him? Is it true he sent your father to jail? Are you two secret lovers?"

They all asked at once. Joey couldn't tell which question was coming from whom. All their voices blended together and she couldn't trace them back to their owner. They kept yelling out questions to her, standing there in the middle of an enormous flock of reporters. The words started to jumble and crossover.

The voices were driving her crazy. They were everywhere and loud. Everyone started spinning around her just the way she had described dancing to Dawson. She felt dizzy and lightheaded. Her feet and hips started to sway. Her head started to throb and her face turned pale. All at once they fired at her and she was completely unprepared for it. They were driving her insane. "Stop it," she said quietly to herself holding her head in her hands. A single tear started to fall down her cheek. "Stop. I can't…ahhh…please, stop it."

"Josephine, may I call you Joey?" a man far back in the crowd screamed. "No, you may not," a voice said, causing Joey to turn around. She saw him and immediately relaxed as he came up to her and pushed their way through the crowd. A woman elbowed her; another man stepped on her foot as the shoved their way through to the front door.

"Pacey, thank god you came," she said relieved as he wrapped his arms around her shielding her from the reporters.

"Your welcome," he whispered and then yelled out, "Please, have some dignity. Let the lady through."

"Are you alright?" Pacey asked concernedly as they entered inside the apartment finally safe away from them. She was holding her head between her hands and massaging her temples. Little tears were falling down her face. She kept taking in deep breaths. She sat down on the couch wrapping her arms around herself and rocking back and forth. Her appearance had Pacey extremely worried. "You're not having a nervous breakdown, are you?"

"I'm fine," she replied shaken. She threw her purse and suitcase onto a nearby armchair.

"Good, cause Lucy, you got some explaining to do," he said in a Cuban accent.

"Joey," Jen said coming out of the kitchen, "you're alright. What took you so long."

"Would have been a lot easier if there wasn't a herd outside," Pacey answered. "I came as soon as I heard."

"What is that about anyway?" Joey asked standing up and peeking through the window curtains.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell us," Jen replied a little angrily. "What?" Joey said taken back as she sat down on the couch again. "I have no clue. All of a sudden they ask me all about Dawson. I'm just as confused as you guys are."

"Well, maybe this will help clear things up," Jen said picking up a paper and envelope from the coffee table. Joey turned towards her and Jen sat down next to Joey so she could see better. She looked carefully at the paper and envelope. The envelope was addressed from Dawson. Dawson, she smiled just reading his name. He wrote. But then she frowned as she saw the paper. It was the Star with a collage of Dawson's and hers letters. They were pictures of the two, interviews from so-called friends, and their very private letters. The headline read, "Dawson Leery Waiting for 'Her'"

"Dawson's letter," she whispered. "Oh, no."

"Oooh, yes," Pacey said exaggerating the 'oh'. "What's going on Joey?"

"What aren't you telling us?" Jen continued. "Your best friends."

"About a month ago I wrote Dawson a letter," Joey replied nervously fidgeting with her fingers. "I got his address and held it for months. Finally I wrote and I asked for friendship, nothing more. I just wanted Dawson the confidant back. We continued writing back to each other. We were finally clicking again."

"What about that?" Jen asked pointing outside.

"As for this," Joey said turning her head towards the window, "what's happening right now outside and that paper, I have no idea."

"So now what?" Pacey asked. "How can we fix it, if we don't know what's going on? How are we supposed to protect you, if we don't know what we're protecting you from?"

"I don't need protecting," Joey said stubbornly. Pacey gave her a 'whatever' look. "I just want to go read his letter," Joey replied taking the letter from Jen and sitting down in the corner of the living room. She brought her knees up to her chest and ripped the envelope open.

Jen and Pacey sat on the couch watching her intently. The emotions on her face as she read. Sadness to fear to astonishment. Then a smile and a few silent tears. Neither had ever seen her this way before. Her face was full of love, but at the same time it was fearful like when falling in love for the first time. She was falling in love all over again. She was the tomboy from the wrong side of the creek at fifteen, wide eyed and in love with the boy next door again. It was…priceless. Pacey looked at Jen out of the corner of his eye and she mouthed to him, "Will you be my date to the wedding?"

He grinned at her and nodded as Joey read.

December 11, 2010

Dear Joey,

You may be a journalist, and you may think you've seen it all, but prepare yourself because something's gonna happen like you've never dreamed of and it's gonna happen to you. This letter is gonna be short because I have to leave, immediately. The cleaning lady came into my room to clean up a couple of days ago while I was away. While she was dusting my desk, she noticed the letters sitting on top. I had made copies of my letters to remember forever. After what I assume was a very short moral decision, she took them and photo copied them in my private office. She then put them back on the desk as they were, sold the copies to the London tabloids, and made a fortune unaware of the camera I had installed in my room. By the time you receive this letter I'm predicting the media storm will have almost hit in the states. The best advice I can give you is to release a statement and then run, anywhere, far, far away. I'm going to the place you once went to in high school. I'm so sorry, Joey. I never meant for any of this to happen. It was my last intent and I hope you do not get hurt. Your strong, I know you'll be okay and you have Jen and Pacey to watch out for you. By the way, now is a good time to tell them about our current situation. They'll find from the papers or TV if you don't.

Joey, please, let it be forgiven and forgotten. The past is history. This is now and what I know of now is that I miss you so much. There hasn't been a day since we broke up that I haven't thought about you. Not a day has gone by that I haven't imagined what it would feel like to hold you in my arms again.

What your hair would feel like and how you'd kiss me. Not a day goes boy that I haven't missed hearing simple words like "Dawson" and "Hi" coming out of your mouth in your welcoming voice. Not a day for five years. I know what I want now, and I don't want to waste anytime running circles around it. It's you. I'm saying it. I want you back. I know we can make it work this time.

We've both matured; we won't make the same mistakes we once did. We've grown and learned from our experiences. I don't believe there's someone else out there for me. No one compares to you. And if there is, they sure are doing everything they can to avoid meeting me.

Jen was right. You are a blossoming flower in every way. Growing everyday and never dying. Never stopping because you know there's so much more out there for you left to do and love. Never letting people get to you. Never letting them bring you down or hurt you. You amaze me and you bloom so beautifully.

This natural, simplistic loveliness. The sweet aroma, it reminds me of the smell of your skin and hair. I would never do anything to damage you. Nothing to cause your petals to fall. Nothing to break your stem that you so gracefully stand on and that is your stubborn ways. I love every part of you.

All the time. Even when your petals are limping and the little bugs in the bud of the flower. Don't let anyone ever rip your petals off in a game of I love you, I love you not. Be careful, I do love you.

Love,
Dawson

Silence. It filled the room like a plague as soon as she finished reading. Jen and Pacey looked at her expectedly, but no words came from her mouth. She averted her eyes from them and starred at the wall. It was blank. No pictures. Nothing, but to her at the moment it seemed to be the most fascinating thing. She noticed some cracks and little spots were the paint had chipped off. Pacey and Jen continued to look at her worriedly. "He still loves me," Joey finally said.

"That's pretty obvious," Pacey replied. "The guy is almost like a second virgin since you guys broke up."

"You're so romantic, Pacey," Jen replied sarcastically. He just smiled at her.

"What else did he say, Jo?" Jen asked. "Anything about what's going on?"

"Yep, here read" Joey said giving her the letter.

"Are you sure?" Jen asked hesitantly. "It's private."

"Not anymore," Joey replied. "If a homeless I've never even passed living on the streets of Hollywood has read it, there's no reason you can't. My life is longer private. It's public knowledge."

"It'll be alright, Joey," Pacey said turning on the TV as Jen silently began to read. "Hollywood is very easily entertained. Before you know it, something else will grab their attention and you'll be feeling like yesterday's trash."

"Thank you, Pacey Witter," Joey remarked. "You're always there in a time of crisis."

"No problemo," he replied smiling. "So when's the big day?"

"Pacey, we just started talking again. It's not even talking, it's writing," Joey explained. "For all I know he could be having a torrid love affair with his lead actress."

"I've got official confirmation he's not," Pacey retorted.

"How so?" she asked curiously.

"For one it's Dawson. For two he told me himself the movie has been shut down. And finally, for three because I said so and I'm always right."

"To think I told Dawson you had really matured," Joey said. Pacey looked up at her surprised. "Don't get a big head, Pacey."

"So Jen, how's it going?" he asked fighting over the remote with Joey. "What's the inside dish?"

"Cleaning lady," she answered putting the letter back into the envelope. "Oohhh, juicy. I can see it know," he said forming a screen with his hands.

"Cleaning lady steals Dawson Leery's private love letters and sells them to the tabloids. The rags to riches story."

"I think you should follow Dawson's advice, Joey. Release a statement and get the hell out of here," Jen said making some tea. She knew it always relaxed Joey and that was the least she could do for her friend.

"I know, but where…" Joey was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. "I got it."

"Okay, Jen," yelled from the kitchen. "If it's Brian, tell him to get lost."

"Hello," she answered picking up the receiver, still smiling at Jen's remark.

Even in a crisis like this, her two friends could still make her smile. She looked over at Pacey. He was watching the TV, some comedy show, oblivious to the surrounding situation. To him this was life and you just go on living.

Nothing to fret about. She wished she could be as calm and cool as he could.

Right now she wanted his attitude more than anything.

"Mrs. Potter," the voice on the other end of the line snapped her out of her thoughts, "we have some inside dish on your and Dawson's high school romance and if you compromise we'll only publish what you approve as long as we get an exclusive interview."

"Listen, Star, Enquirer, whatever piece of actual humans you call yourselves," Joey replied sharply. "Whatever you have, it can't be something that isn't already known. So stick your tale between your legs and get lost before I take away whatever amount of decency you have by personally extracting it myself. And you can quote me on that."

"Whoa, Joey," Jen said taking the receiver from her and putting in back on the hook. "Take it easy. You don't want to make this any worse than it is. There's enough dirt going around without adding more to the pile."

"You're right. Breath, breath," Joey said taking in deep breaths and waving her arms for more air. Jen handed her the teacup and Joey began to drink when the phone rang again. In a fit she grabbed the receiver before Jen could get to it. "Listen, asshole…."

"Joey, it's me," he said softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied sincerely. "It's just this reporter just called and…."

"I understand," he replied. "I just called to find out how you're doing. You know, with everything going on."

"I'm…I'm adjusting either that or I'm having a nervous breakdown."

"I knew it," Pacey said from the couch. Joey rolled her eyes at him.

"Is that Pacey? I'm glad there's someone there for you," he said.

"Yeah, and Jen. With their help, hopefully I'll make it out without having to change my name and live on a desert island away from all communication with civilization."

"That doesn't sound so bad," he said. She chuckled lightly trying to ease the mood. "I still care, you know, no matter what you may think."

"I know," she said, "and I want to be your friend."

"Me too. You should go," he said. "Keep in touch, Joey."

"I will," she said. "Bye."

"Bye," she heard him say as she put the receiver down.

"Who's that?" Jen asked eyeing her curiously.

"A friend," she answered quietly.

"Ah hah," Jen said checking the caller id. "Adam."

"He's was just…" Joey started, but was interrupted by Pacey.

"You guys, come quick," he yelled. Joey gave Jen a confused look before following her to the couch where Pacey was watching Access Hollywood.

On the screen Nancy O' Dell, one of the hosts, appeared. The two sat down and watched as the woman talked about the news of the day, mostly the news of Dawson's and hers letters. Joey looked at the watch. A whopping ten minutes had been spent discussing what she had known all her life.

"Regarding recent events, Dawson Leery has released a statement," Nancy said standing in front of screen that showed various pictures from the day's events. "It reads, quote, Joey Potter and I were childhood friends and we did date on an off through high school and college. We no longer see each other, but remain friends and share a common fondness for each other. Please respect her privacy and mine, as we are both individuals with feelings and emotions, end quote."

"Turn it off," Joey stated. Pacey looked at her dumbfounded. "Now."

"Okay, okay," he asked turning the TV off. "You mind telling me why?"

"I have to think and the TV is not helping," Joey answered sitting between Pacey and Jen on the couch. "What am I going to do? He still loves me and I do too him, but I don't know if I can start all that again."

"How will you feel if you don't try?" Jen asked.

"Regretful," Joey answered simply, "but I'm afraid. What if he hurts me again."

"Dawson would never hurt you," Pacey answered. "He never meant to in college either."

"Not intentionally, I know" Joey said, "but intentionally or not, it still hurts."

"No pain, no gain," Pacey said.

"I think what Pacey is trying to say," Jen said hitting him in the side, "is that there's no such thing as never getting hurt in a relationship, especially in one with as much history as yours and Dawson's. But Dawson is the closest you'll come to it."

"So what do I do?" Joey asked. "I feel like on one hand I have the opportunity for a great romance again and on the other hand I've got my weak heart pulling it down."

"Go to him. See how it goes, give it a try. You can always come back if you loose the nerve" Jen answered simply. "Where did he say he was going to?"

"The place I almost went to in high school," Joey replied.

"Which is?" Pacey asked impatiently. "Let's just get to the climax already when you rush into his arms, he kisses you, and then you get married and have 2.5 kids. By the way, I never got it. How can you possibly have 2.5 kids?"

"Pacey you're getting way off-topic here. We've got to get you a girlfriend to bother," Jen said.

"No complaints here," he remarked. "Well, Jo where'd you almost go?"

"I have no clue," she said thinking. "The place I almost went to…in high school…I don't know…Paris!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Pacey asked. "Go do that two minute packing trick you taught us."

I think this word is permanently implanted in my brain and it should be in yours too: FEEDBACK! Drop me line if you're reading this and haven't sent any. Just a simple, "I like your story," is fine. The good, the bad, and of course the constructive feedback (which I love the most, but which author doesn't).

Back to Vlada's Stories | Back to Fan Fiction | Back to the Main Page This page has been visited times.